What do almost all pickup lines have in common? They will NOT get you laid. After all, using one tells her that you lack originality or that you have to hide behind some funny and ridiculously rehearsed line just to approach her.
When you approach a woman, she automatically has her defenses up. This is because she is biologically programmed to fear men since they are usually bigger and pose a threat to her well-being. Your approach should counter these defenses by showing her that you’re just a normal guy who is not threatening at all. A rehearsed or copied pickup line will fail to do that.
While a genius pickup line may make her laugh, it often won’t help you naturally move into a conversation. That’s why instead of using pickup lines, you should simply say something to break the ice.
Your icebreaker doesn’t have to be groundbreaking. You can introduce yourself and say, “I saw you from across the room and couldn’t leave without saying Hi.” Or you can use something in your environment as a kickstart to the conversation. Just make sure the icebreaker is non-threatening, genuine, and doesn’t make you look like a total douchebag.
With that general advice on breaking the ice out of the way, let’s take a look at the total ridiculousness of pickup lines by checking out this list of some of the worst ever used.
Some were taken off online dating sites, while others were reported by women to be used in person. Regardless, they are all out of this world, and not in a good way:
1. “I want to cover you in peanut butter and lick you until my peanut allergy kills me.”
2. “You’re like a termite, because you’re about to get a mouth full of wood tonight.”
3. “Are you a washing machine? I’d like to fill you with my dirty load.”
4. “My boner just died. Can I bury it in your bum?”
5. “Remember me? Oh, that’s right, I’ve met you only in my dreams.”
6. “Do you work at Subway? ‘Cause you just gave me a foot-long.”
7. “Nice legs; what time do they open?”
8. “Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?”
9. “I’m going to have sex with you tonight, you might as well be there to enjoy it.”
10. “Was your dad a cement mixer? Because you are making me hard.”
11. “Hey, girl. Is your name Wi-Fi? Because we have a connection.”
12. “Was your mother a beaver? ‘Cause damn!”
13. “I hear you’re looking for a stud. Well, I’ve got the STD and all I need is you.”
14. “If you were a Transformer, you’d be Optimus Fine.”
15. “Go on; feel my jacket. It’s made of boyfriend material.”
16. “Do you believe in love at first sight? Or should I walk past again?”
17. “I’m trying to rearrange the alphabet so that U and I are together.”
18. “You’re hot. I’m ugly. Let’s make average babies.”
19. “I like my women like I like my coffee, full of cream.”
20. “How about I teach you about firefighting by letting you slide down my pole?”
21. “How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the ice!”
Do you have any ridiculous pickup lines you’d like to share? Let us know in the comments!