A great first date can lead to much more, such as ending the night with a bang, having a new friend with benefits, or even having a new great girlfriend.
Unfortunately, many men fail at first dates, which leads them to fail in the overall dating game. And their failures usually begin when it comes to asking her out on that first date.
How can you avoid such blunders? You can start by following these five simple tips:
1. Don’t be vague – If you’re like many men, you’ve probably been vague at least once when asking a girl out. Why? To avoid getting totally rejected and embarrassed.
Rejection is usually a man’s worst fear with dating and seduction, so he’ll try to avoid it by either never approaching, or approaching and leaving things completely open and vague.
If you ask a girl out by saying, “Let’s hang out,” guess what? She’ll think you just want to hang out, and she’ll reserve a nice first class seat for you in her friend zone.
Don’t say, “Let’s go out,” either. That might suggest that you simply want company while you eat or have drinks, and it’s still too high on the “friendly” scale.
To avoid all vagueness and confusion, say “I’d like to take you out.” This suggests that you’re taking charge to take her out on a date with romantic interests in mind. If she rejects your advance, at least you avoid the frustration of going out on a date and ending in the friend zone because you weren’t clear in your initial intentions.
2. Be specific about the date and time – You don’t want to be vague in your intentions, but you also don’t want to be vague about when you’re ready to make your first meeting.
Telling her, “I’d like to take you out sometime,” leaves things wide open and means you’ll have to ask her again when you have a specific date in mind. By asking her, “I’d like to take you out next Friday at 8,” you eliminate having to ask again. You also secure the date without having to worry about her accepting down the line.
3. Reserve in advance – Plan the date about a week in advance to give her room to adjust her schedule. Asking her out the next day or in a couple of days might land you a “no” simply due to scheduling conflicts. This rejection could lead you to not even want to ask for another date in her calendar.
4. Call, don’t text – Texting offers up a lot of room for mistakes due to misinterpretation. You could text something that might offend her, or she might respond in a way that makes you wonder if she even wants to go out.
A phone call eliminates this obstacle since she can hear your voice and your tone. Many women prefer a call when asking them out because it’s more direct and upfront. A text could be seen as too passive-aggressive, even in this day and age.
Just make sure you know what you’re going to say when you call, as you don’t want to sound like a bumbling fool by being at a loss for words.
5. Make a plan with her interests in mind – No matter how long you’ve known her, you should have at least harvested some info about what she likes. Try planning the date around these interests, or at least include them in some way.
Avoid asking her, “What do you want to do?” It’ll put the burden on her and she’ll think you don’t take charge.
When planning the date, you may want to avoid dinner or anything involving a sit-down meal for the first time around. It could lead to awkward silence.
Instead, plan on something where activity is involved to keep you both occupied. This will also help kill any first date nerves that might be put on full display in a formal restaurant setting. Hitting the gym, rock climbing, hiking, or going to a fair or amusement parks are all great first date ideas.