Have you recently gone through a break up? If so, then you know how painful a broken heart can be! I’m sure you have heard that time heals all wounds, and there is some truth to this. But ask yourself this: what if there was a way to speed the process up?
Sound too good to be true? Well, I assure you that it is possible! In fact, I’m going to share several powerful steps which you can take to mend your broken heart and start meeting attractive women in record time:
- Give yourself space
- Learn from your mistakes
- Identify new opportunities
- Sooth your soul
If you have any questions or feedback about these steps, I would love to hear from you! Please use the comment box at the end. I promise to respond to every comment as soon as I am able!
Don't just wallow in self-pity, use a broken heart as an opportunity to grow!
Step #1: Give yourself space
The biggest mistake which guys make when getting over a broken heart is that they don’t step back from the situation. Chasing after a girl when you have just gone through a painful breakup is absolutely, 100% the worst possible thing you can do.
If you are caught up in the Hollywood fairytale that being honest and pouring your heart out to your ex will win her back and get her remembering what a great guy you are, then you are living in a fantasy world.
The first step that you need to take is a step backwards. You need to distance yourself from the situation. Give yourself (as well as your ex!) some space so that you can get a clearer perspective. The reason why this is so important is that we tend to focus on all of the negative aspects of a relationship after a break up. That attracts a lot of negative emotions.
Have you ever been in argument with someone which felt so fierce and so intense that you thought you were never going to resolve it? However, after giving yourself some space for an hour or two, you probably forgot what you were arguing about in the first place. This same phenomenon applies you want to heal a broken heart after a nasty break up.
Step #2: Learn from your mistakes
One of the great advantage of stepping back is that it gives you time to analyze your relationship. There must have been a reason for the break up. Understanding why your ex wanted to break up with you is usually the easy part. But how about putting the shoe on the other foot. What were some of her flaws? Why was she not the perfect match for you?
If all you focus on are her positive qualities and your negative qualities, then you will end up missing out on some important opportunities. For example, you might overlook some of the ways in which her personality was actually holding you back. So it is important to look at your relationship from more than one perspective.
After doing this, you might discover that you no longer want to get back together with your ex. But even if you still do, at least you will have a more holistic view of your relationship.
Step #3: Identify new opportunities
It is natural to feel a sense of loss after a break up. But you should balance this with an appreciation for the new opportunities which may become available to you. A breakup, however painful, gives you time to focus on areas of your life which you have been putting on hold.
It also gives you the opportunity to meet a girl who is perfect for you. Don’t you want to be with someone who means it when they say that they want to be with you forever? That perfect girl for you is out there! Now is the perfect opportunity to develop yourself so that you will win her over when you meet her!
Right this very moment I want you to grab a pen and paper. Brainstorm all of the activities which you’ve wanted to do over the past five years but haven’t had time to do. They could be big things – stuff that you must do before you die – or smaller tasks, like starting a new project at work, learning to dance, or taking up a cooking class.
Break ups are the perfect opportunity to invest in yourself. Not only will this help you be the best version of yourself possible, it will also help get over your broken heart since pain only exists when you focus on it.
Step #4: Sooth your soul
When you are experiencing an incredibly painful break up, you don’t always have to run away from it. Sometimes it’s good to embrace the powerful emotions which you are feeling. A great way to do this without losing your focus is to get in touch with music.
When I went through a painful breakup many years ago, I connected very strongly with the street song “Dry Your Eyes”. That song perfectly summed up where I was intellectually and emotionally. By listening to that on repeat, I was able to explore my emotions in a positive, constructive way.
There were a number of other songs which also resonated deeply with me at the time. By making this music an integral part of my life, I was able to heal my broken heart and connect with my artistic side at the same time.
It doesn’t have to be music. You may connect with a particular film, or possibly a specific style of art. It doesn’t matter, so long as you find something which resonates with you and allows you to explore your feelings in a healthy way.
Bonus tip: Don’t just heal – grow!
You have probably noticed a recurring theme in the steps which I have shared with you: opportunity. The key to mending a broken heart is treating the break up as an opportunity. Obviously it is painful, but it also has the potential for deep emotional growth.
Like any other challenging experience, a broken heart should be the catalyst for the next big stage of development in your life.
