Authors Posts by Vin DiCarlo

Vin DiCarlo


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Perhaps she doesn’t have very much experience with relationships, perhaps she has been brought up with conservative values, perhaps she has been emotionally hurt in the past by rushing into things with a different guy, or maybe she has a different reason, but either way, when it comes to her relationship with you, your girlfriend wants to “take it slow.” While it is possible for you to figure this out by implication – that is to say, from her actions (or lack thereof) – it is more common (and best) to figure this out through her telling you she wants to take it slow.

This can mean different things within the context of your relationship. It can mean she is nervous about a specific “stage” that your relationship might be approaching; she might be anxious about you moving in together, about you meeting her parents, about getting engaged, or other similar things. It could mean that she is nervous about having sex with you, and wants to get to know you really well and be really sure about the person you are before doing that with you. Or it can even mean she is not sure if she even wants to be exclusive, or public, about her relationship with you.

Whatever it does mean, if you know that you like her and want to be with her, the fact that that your girlfriend wants to “take it slow” can be extremely frustrating.

If you’re already in a relationship with her, and want to meet her parents or friends, or move in with her, or even ask her to marry you, it probably means you’re certain of how much you like her. If she is hesitant it can simply be frustrating, as it is delaying the thing that you know you want. It is also, in this situation, fairly impossible to compromise. The person who wants to take it slowest almost always gets their way.

If the problem is that she doesn’t want to sleep with you, you have a different issue. This is, of course, frustrating in its own way. You are obviously attracted to her and her to you, and the desire to express your love to her physically (and of course, to experience the great feeling of sex) is probably very high. The worst example of this is if she decides she does not want to have sex before marriage, something that can absolutely define a relationship in a way that you might very much dislike.

She might also simply be anxious about going public with her relationship with you. This can in many cases be the most frustrating; it is difficult not to take it personally if the problem she has with your relationship is anyone knowing about it. Sometimes it might simply be because she has conservative parents or something of the sort, but it is still difficult to separate completely the notion that she is afraid you will make her look bad.

As annoying as it might be, if you’re in the situation where your girlfriend wants to take it slow, you pretty much have no choice have to be patient with her and not pressure her into doing things that make her uncomfortable.

If you care enough about her, it will certainly be worth it. However, you should try and communicate with her as honestly as possible about how you feel, and hope that it is something you can overcome together and not something that will eventually drive you apart.

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Falling for your best friend is often thought of as the best way to find love, the way most likely to produce happiness and result in a lengthy, healthy relationship. You know your best friend so well, they say, that it is much less likely for you to be unpleasantly surprised by how they treat you within a relationship.

All of this is true. It can be wonderful to fall for your best friend. However, it is not always a great thing to realize you have romantic feelings for her. If the question of, “Am I in love with my best friend?” floats through your mind, it is often accompanied by the unfortunate thought that, for one thing, she might not love you in return and, for another, that a romantic relationship might eventually mean the end of your wonderful friendship.

The worst thought is that she doesn’t feel the same way, or more accurately, that she likes you but is not attracted to you. This is a very legitimate fear – one would think if she is your best friend than she already views you as someone she can trust and someone she loves spending time with, and it seems that if she was very attracted to you something would have happened by now. One major problem in this situation is that there is very little way to tell if your fear is correct or not. It is hard to tell what parts of her interactions with you are truly flirtatious or just friendly. Another is that it is difficult to say how you should proceed from there.

Do you talk to her about it and risk making things awkward, driving you apart, making her uncomfortable around you, or making her think that you value her less as a friend and more as a potential romantic partner? Do you make a move on her at a party or at the end of a night after you drove or walked her home? Do you talk to her friends about it and try and see if they might have a sense for your chances of being with her?

These are all reasonable options – though making a move on her is certainly the one with the highest downside – but each will be better or worse depending on your specific situation. The good thing is, there are many girls who are okay with having a male friend who they know is attracted to them – as long as they don’t feel threatened by him. The problem with that is that they might use this to string you along with false hopes and keep you from finding other women. There is no perfect course of action in this situation.

Finally, if you think you’re in love with your best friend, even if she might feel the same way, it can still be risky to act on them. Most relationships do not last forever, and if your friendship with her means enough to you, it might not be worth it to risk changing or ruining it forever – unless you really, really like her. In any case, while dating your best friend does seem wonderful, it is rare and, in almost all cases, risky to try and make that happen.

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Learning how to please a woman orally can immediately and dramatically increase the quality of your sex life with your girlfriend, wife, and/or with any other woman in the future.

While not necessarily a part of the romantic life of many couples – and in fact, there are a good number of women who view cunnilingus as gross, and don’t want you to go down on them – being good at it can convince any woman you are with that it should be, and can serve as both foreplay to the main event of intercourse, or can even stand on its own as a great (or even the most effective) way to make her orgasm.

The first part of pleasing a woman orally regards knowing when to do it. As far as she is concerned, doing it as part of your foreplay is perfect. You can progress easily and naturally from kissing and making out with her, to kissing her neck, moving down to her nipples, and finally farther down. If she has just given you a blowjob, or you simply want to give her a treat (and perhaps that ever-elusive orgasm) you can even do it without any intention of having sex with her after. As far as you should be concerned, however, it is a much more pleasant experience to give a woman oral sex soon after she has taken a shower, and certainly not after she has sweated a lot. The smell and taste of a clean, freshly washed vagina is significantly better than the alternative.

The most important thing to understand when it comes to pleasing a woman orally, however, is how to do it – and do it well.

Being very good at oral sex involves two main things: patience, and technique.

Just as a man does not immediately cum from a blowjob, so too does it take a while for oral sex to satisfy a woman. And yet, many half-hearted attempts at cunnilingus from guys end after only a minute or two, so they can sooner “get to the good stuff.” There is hardly a point to doing it this way. It can take time, and you should be prepared to spend that time to satisfy her.

Finally, you must have good technique if you desire to be good at pleasing a woman orally. Cunnilingus does not involve randomly licking her vagina with your tongue. You should be positioning yourself so that your upper lip rests comfortably on her pubic bone. From her you should begin softly and slowly warming her up and arousing her. Slowly, you can progress to firmer uses of your tongue in more concentrated ways. Rather than licking the entire area you can slowly hone in on her clitoris. Listen to her, and try and follow her non-verbal signals. If you must, eventually, you can even insert your tongue – or a finger – into her vagina directly.

It must be said, however, that every woman is different, and it will take slightly different techniques to stimulate them most effectively. Becoming really good at oral sex with a woman takes practice and communication between the two of you. It might take a while, but it will undoubtedly be worth it – for both of you.

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Whether you’re still a virgin and watching everyone around you hook up, whether you are simply unlucky – or unskilled – when it comes to women and have not had sex in a long time, or whether you’ve just recently broken up with someone and have experienced a dry spell since the break up, you may realize that – among other things, to be sure – you just want to get laid. You want to make it happen with a girl, and make it happen fast.

Sex might not solve all your problems, but it might help, and it will certainly make solving them more enjoyable. You may have to deal with a fair amount of rejection, but ultimately, if you put in the effort, you’re going to end your dry spell – no matter how long it has been – and finally get laid.

If you’re still a virgin and looking to change that label, you are certainly in good company. While it might seem like everyone around you is having sex, chances are most are not, and there are many others who never have. The biggest problem that most men in your situation – and those who might only have a tiny bit of sexual experience – is a lack of confidence. This might stem from your appearance, your social skills, etc, or it might actually stem from your bad luck and/or lack of experience with women.

The first thing to do, after acknowledging that your problems are not unique and they are not your fault, is to try and figure out how to work with what you have and become most likely to attract women. Ask your friends (preferably girls), or sister if they have any suggestions regarding your wardrobe and/or fashion sense, and try to act on them. (Yes, you may have to spend a little money!)

Give yourself opportunities to meet women and have some kinds of interactions with them that might potentially build sexual experiences. This might mean going to bars or clubs – places where lots of alcohol is consumed – and it might simply mean lowering your standards a bit. Often men with little experience actually have higher standards because they feel the pressure of making such experiences mean more. Finally, work on projecting confidence around women by maintaining eye contact with them while talking to them, asking them questions, making them laugh, etc.

If you do have experience with women and you’re experiencing a dry spell, you have a different problem. This could be one of luck, it could be one of changing to an environment you are less comfortable in, or a host of other reasons, but it is most likely due to laziness.

Attracting women, for many men, takes a fair amount of effort, and the desire to work at it – if you don’t experience immediate rewards – can fade fairly fast. Sex can still seem great, but perhaps not worth the cost it might take to attain it. The most important thing you can do, usually, is to fight this laziness and put in the effort. While it might not happen for you extremely often, sex will come to you eventually if you put in some work. You have already demonstrated the ability to attract a woman (or multiple women) and get laid, now you just have to keep trying.

A final note: if you are still trying to get over an ex, it will be immeasurably harder to force yourself to work hard at talking to other women. Just know that getting with another woman – and ideally, ending up with her – is by far the best and quickest way of getting over someone.

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Finding sweet, cute, and charming things to say to girls is an essential part of making them smile, laugh, and enjoy being around you (not to mention making them attracted to you.) Finding the best things to say to a woman can certainly prove to be the difference between a forgettable night and a great one, and even between a good boyfriend and a great one. The importance of making her smile should never be underestimated!

Rather than a long and complicated list, below are detailed three charming things to say to a woman that are guaranteed to make her smile, and can certainly represent the endless possibilities of things you can say to her.

3. “Life without you is as pointless as a broken pencil.” Or, for another example, something like, “If you held up 11 roses into a mirror, you’d be looking at 12 of the most beautiful things in the world,” or, “Hold on, you’ve got something in your eye… oh wait, that’s just a sparkle,” etc, etc. These phrases are effective, but she will not be swept off her feet with the creativity and power of your words. Rather, she will probably know that you’re feeding her a line. The reason they are effective is because they show you have a great sense of humor, and because, if you deliver them right, they are guaranteed to make her smile and feel a little loved. You must deliver them right, however, for them to be effective. Make sure she is not in a bad mood, start off as if you are just making a generic remark, and then eventually smile as you get to the end.

An accompanying kiss is never a bad thing.

2. “Your freckle is adorable.” And along the same lines, any specific, personalized compliment about a physical feature, mannerism, interest, etc that she has that makes her unique and special. Women love compliments – this is well documented – but the best ones are always the ones that make her feel the most special and give her the impression that you pay more attention to her than any other woman. Saying these things to her will not only make her happy, but will also make her appreciate you more.

1. “I love you.” This should be number one on any such list, whether it be the 10 Sweetest Things to Say to a Girl, the 100 Sweetest Things, or just the top 3. These three words have the power to make men and women alike happy beyond their wildest dreams. You cannot say this enough to her (although you should always strive to make it sound absolutely sincere and special), and it will never cease to make her smile – and hopefully, say it back.

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Dating tips for all men are very common, but dating tips for short men, specifically, are much less so. Being short, as a man, is a unique handicap when it comes to getting women and, although it is in almost all cases possible to overcome a deficiency in height, there are certain things that you should keep in mind if you have this problem.

Dating tips for short men include activities to avoid, women to avoid, and most importantly, ways to not allow being short to affect your own confidence and abilities with women. Below are listed the top 5 dating tips for short men that, if followed, will surely increase the likelihood a short man might have of overcoming his handicap.

5. Do not try to impress her on the basketball court. This really applies for almost any activity where your height might make you seem less masculine. In this specific case, unless you have Chris Paul’s dribbling ability and Ray Allen’s jump shot, you should probably avoid playing in front of her.

4. Don’t dance with her if she is much taller than you. This especially applies if she likes to wear high heels. There is little more amusing than watching a man wrapped around a woman who is half a foot taller than him on the dance floor. It looks completely absurd. The problem, for you, is that she will likely be aware of this, and it can easily turn into a source of embarrassment for her. Try to avoid it unless you cannot (for example, if you’re marrying her!)

3. Dress nicely, and have a good sense of style. This will project confidence with women, and will make it much more likely that they will overcome any bias’s they have against short guys and allow themselves to be attracted to you. Dressing well can also mean dressing to make yourself seem taller than you actually are (for example, by wearing skinny pants that make your legs look longer.)

2. Hit the gym. One of the main reasons that a lack of height can become an obstacle in the way of attracting women is that it simply makes you seem less manly. Short men are easily equated with children, and are more difficult to take seriously in a sexual context. One extremely effective way to get around this is by being built. A girl will undoubtedly view you as manly, and will undoubtedly feel protected if you have a lean, masculine frame, big arms, etc. “Ronnie” from MTV’s Jersey Shore can be used as a model for this piece of advice.

1. Never let your height – or lack thereof – affect your confidence. If you know you’re a great guy, a great lover, and worth giving a chance to, this will rub off on every woman you meet. While she might initially be amused at your height, and assume that you must be insecure about it, the second she realizes you are absolutely not she will be forced to take you seriously as a potential romantic partner. Just as it is much more important than having good looks in general, having confidence with women will overcome almost any deficiency in height that you might have.

Thus concludes the list of the Top 5 Dating Tips For Short Men. If you do happen to be a vertically challenged man, they should undoubtedly help to overcome this handicap and allow you to attract almost any woman you desire.

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People differ greatly with respect to the level of their social skills and abilities, and their abilities to make people like and want to be around them. For some, relating to others is so easy they barely have to think about it. They, throughout their lives, have no problem having lots of friends and plenty of opportunities for romance.

For others, the social “game,” so to speak, is incredibly difficult and unnatural to them. They might have very few friends or opportunities for romance – if not none at all.

For these latter people, they might look around at how everyone else in the world gets along and wonder if there is something wrong with them. They might wonder “do people like me?” or, even worse, “do people hate me?”

Unfortunately, in many cases, the answer might be, on the whole, no and yes, respectively. Having to deal with insecurities that you are not well liked or even hated can be incredibly demoralizing, and can certainly impact the rest of your life.

If you’re having thoughts of “do people hate me?” and fear that the answer might be yes, it is incredibly important to try and figure out why, and try to see what you can do about it.

Keep in mind that whatever problems you have, socially, are not your fault. You did not choose your genetics – if they are in any way deficient – you did not choose your parents, and you did not choose the other influences that you had growing up that shaped your development as a social being. If you are unpopular, lonely, or afraid that people hate you, it is not because there is something wrong with you, and you do not deserve such a situation.

With this in mind, you can move on to try and improve your situation.

The first thing you should do is try and evaluate your standards for people, both for friends and for potential romantic partners. Are they too high? Are they unreasonable? In many cases the reason you might be driving people away is that you find it hard to “settle” for being around people that might not totally understand you and might not be as smart or interesting as you want them to be. Sometimes, just learning to accept more people – and different people – can be an unexpected way to start making new friends.

Finally, if you’re worried that people don’t like you, you should try and figure out what it might be about you that is unattractive to people. Is it simply your looks? In that case, try and dress better and take care of any glaring features in your appearance, if you can. Is it that you’re an asshole? Learn to be nicer to people. Are you simply a strange person? Try to meet others who are as strange as you or, at least, will understand and accept you. In all cases, be constantly looking for ways you can help yourself, and make it more likely for you to be more satisfied with your social life than you are now.

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Sometimes marriage life can grow boring and monotonous, the passion between you and your wife can fade, and you can be forced to look to things outside of it for excitement and stimulation.

It can be at this moment that you might look to have an affair, either with someone you know already, or someone you might meet somewhere. The most common place to have one – and perhaps the easiest – is at work.

Disclaimer: before you decide to try and learn how to have an affair at work and actively pursue it, you better know what you’re getting yourself into. Having an affair can absolutely spell the end of a marriage, and it will make it much more difficult for you to have time with your children if you have any, and if you do it with the wrong person it might even ruin your career. In short, it is extremely risky, and although it can also be extremely fun and rewarding you should make sure it is worth it before proceeding.

If you have indeed weighed the pros and cons and decided you really do want to learn how to have an affair at work, then there are a few things you need to keep in mind. The first is regarding who to have an affair with.

The easiest women at work to have an affair with are ambitious interns, secretaries, and assistants. They are often young and attractive, often attracted to more powerful or wealthy men, and will sometimes even see it as a chance to get ahead in the company. This can be fun (and again, they can be extremely hot), but it can also be dangerous. Because the power dynamics of your relationship with her will be skewed largely in your favor, you could be faced with either a very clingy girl on your hands, or one who might threaten to expose the affair unless you provide her with benefits.

Having an affair with a coworker of fairly equal status, therefore, is a much safer bet if you’re looking for a healthier relationship. It might, however, lead to very awkward situations if the affair ends badly, because you probably have to see this woman a lot.

Finally, you can always have an affair with your boss. This can be very thrilling, but also dangerous, because not only will she be wary of being used for promotions, but once again if it ends badly, your career could suffer.

The second thing to thing about when trying to learn how to have an affair at work is where to do it. The office might seem exciting, but it’s risky, and quite honestly, probably much more uncomfortable than you might think. It is usually a better idea to either rent a hotel room (use cash!) or go to her place.

Finally, you need to think about how this is going to affect your life at home (and it will). The main thing you should absolutely be doing is keeping this affair secret.

Telling your wife about it is nothing but you being selfish.

It will never make her happy to learn about it. You are the one having the affair, and it should be on you to live with that burden and have to deal with lying about it. Make sure you shower every time before you come home, and make sure you don’t act differently when you are there (this includes in your sex life with your wife; don’t suddenly lose interest in it or she will become suspicious.)

Having an affair at work can be a great way to find the excitement you crave while maintaining the stability and calm of married life. In rare cases it can actually help your marriage, by making you appreciate your wife more. Just make sure if you decide to have one, you do it right.

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Learning how to kiss a teenage girl is not so different from learning how to kiss any girl. It’s mainly about not being sloppy, and about what you do in between the actual time your lips spend with hers.

There are, however, unique tendencies when it comes to kissing teenage girls as opposed to much older ones, mainly that she will have not had very much experience with kissing (which lowers the pressure on you), and that she will place a lot more importance on kissing as a romantic action (which, of course, raises the pressure on you.)

Every kiss starts with eye contact. Your gaze locks upon hers, she smiles, bites her lip, or gives you other such inviting gestures, you start to lean forward, she does too, and the next thing you know the kiss has begun. This will be the same, for the most part, with women of any age.

A very important part of being a good kisser, no matter who you are kissing, is to start off slowly. Unless it is the heat of the moment and passion is intense and you’re about to rip off each others’ clothes and begin having sex, you should treat the kiss as a moment to be savored, not simply as a gateway to something else.

Don’t immediately insert your tongue into her mouth. Give the kiss time to develop. Lock your lips with hers, breath in and feel her breathing as well, and then back away. Look into her eyes as she opens them. Then kiss her again (still softly.)

Do this repeatedly until she seems to be begging for more. Only then should you start to slowly use your tongue, first lightly touching her lips with it, then brushing against her tongue. At this point you can periodically move to her neck and perhaps below, and the kiss may lead to something else. If not, however, you should simply continue to kiss her, mixing up the pace and intensity of the act.

Knowing how to kiss a teenage girl starts with this (knowing how to kiss, period.) However, there are some differences that tend to occur between a teenage girl or an older one.

For one thing, they tend to have less experience, and because of this they might be passive or too aggressive, or just bad in any other way. The key is to be patient. Lead by example, and they will eventually adapt to your style of kissing and become better. It is amazing how fast this process can happen.

A final thing to note when it comes to knowing how to kiss a teenage girl is that she will be much less likely to allow or expect the kiss to lead to something else. Depending on how old she is and what her previous romantic experiences have been like, she may never have done anything else.

Unless you are at the point where she is comfortable with you, she is likely to be intimidated or even frightened if you start to grab her breasts or go for her crotch while kissing her – something that can easily be done with older women. It is better to take things slowly, starting with her neck, and then maybe working your way down, gauging her reaction all the way, before trying to go any further. It is not always a bad idea, either, to simply ask her if she’s comfortable with taking things further.

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Sometimes people get to a point where they are simply dissatisfied with their social lives, with their friends, their romantic lives, and with the way they spend their free time. This has to do with the place you live and with the amount of money you have (or don’t have.) It has to do with just breaking up with someone or realizing your girlfriend isn’t as great as you thought she might be, and many other things.

The most likely cause of dissatisfaction with life, however, is that you don’t have the right friends, or you don’t have enough of them.

In this situation, figuring out where to make new friends, or how to make new friends, can be extremely beneficial to your social existence and your life in general. Making new friends, however, is difficult.

Friendships are generally built off a great amount of time spent together, a collection of memories and inside jokes, and a general correlation of interests between the two of you. These things, especially the first two, generally are not present at the beginning of a relationship. Building new friendships can therefore be awkward and difficult and might frustrate you. The question of how to make new friends is therefore a very difficult one to answer.

Generally, you must spend a lot of time with new people, see who you connect with best, see who’s interests are most similar to yours, and figure out who you like spending time with the most. From here you should try and give yourself opportunities to hang out with them and let things go from there. However, because everyone is different, the details regarding how you should try and become friends with them will vary greatly.

The question of where to make new friends can perhaps be a more useful one to examine. One of the biggest obstacles in the way of making new friends is not giving yourself the opportunities to.

It is natural to fall into patterns and routines regarding your social life, to do the same things over and over again and avoid stepping outside your comfort zones. This is okay if you’re happy with such an existence, but if you were trying to figure out where to make new friends, and are in fact seeking them, this is a bad pattern to fall into. You should be making an effort to join new organizations and participate in activities you normally wouldn’t participate in, with people you might not normally participate in anything with.

You might figure out that your relationships with people are better in new circumstances or within new contexts, and you might also figure out that you get along better with different kinds of people than you were used to considering as potential friends.

A final note regarding making new friends: It’s easy to convince yourself that people who want to hang out with you are better friends than they actually are. Because you are looking for new friends you might settle for anyone who wants to spend time with you. This will not, however, solve your problem with your social life. You should always stick to a certain standard regarding friends, and if you don’t find anyone that meets that standard you should simply keep looking, rather than lowering those standards.