Authors Posts by Vin DiCarlo

Vin DiCarlo

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Dating tips for all men are very common, but dating tips for short men, specifically, are much less so. Being short, as a man, is a unique handicap when it comes to getting women and, although it is in almost all cases possible to overcome a deficiency in height, there are certain things that you should keep in mind if you have this problem.

Dating tips for short men include activities to avoid, women to avoid, and most importantly, ways to not allow being short to affect your own confidence and abilities with women. Below are listed the top 5 dating tips for short men that, if followed, will surely increase the likelihood a short man might have of overcoming his handicap.

5. Do not try to impress her on the basketball court. This really applies for almost any activity where your height might make you seem less masculine. In this specific case, unless you have Chris Paul’s dribbling ability and Ray Allen’s jump shot, you should probably avoid playing in front of her.

4. Don’t dance with her if she is much taller than you. This especially applies if she likes to wear high heels. There is little more amusing than watching a man wrapped around a woman who is half a foot taller than him on the dance floor. It looks completely absurd. The problem, for you, is that she will likely be aware of this, and it can easily turn into a source of embarrassment for her. Try to avoid it unless you cannot (for example, if you’re marrying her!)

3. Dress nicely, and have a good sense of style. This will project confidence with women, and will make it much more likely that they will overcome any bias’s they have against short guys and allow themselves to be attracted to you. Dressing well can also mean dressing to make yourself seem taller than you actually are (for example, by wearing skinny pants that make your legs look longer.)

2. Hit the gym. One of the main reasons that a lack of height can become an obstacle in the way of attracting women is that it simply makes you seem less manly. Short men are easily equated with children, and are more difficult to take seriously in a sexual context. One extremely effective way to get around this is by being built. A girl will undoubtedly view you as manly, and will undoubtedly feel protected if you have a lean, masculine frame, big arms, etc. “Ronnie” from MTV’s Jersey Shore can be used as a model for this piece of advice.

1. Never let your height – or lack thereof – affect your confidence. If you know you’re a great guy, a great lover, and worth giving a chance to, this will rub off on every woman you meet. While she might initially be amused at your height, and assume that you must be insecure about it, the second she realizes you are absolutely not she will be forced to take you seriously as a potential romantic partner. Just as it is much more important than having good looks in general, having confidence with women will overcome almost any deficiency in height that you might have.

Thus concludes the list of the Top 5 Dating Tips For Short Men. If you do happen to be a vertically challenged man, they should undoubtedly help to overcome this handicap and allow you to attract almost any woman you desire.

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People differ greatly with respect to the level of their social skills and abilities, and their abilities to make people like and want to be around them. For some, relating to others is so easy they barely have to think about it. They, throughout their lives, have no problem having lots of friends and plenty of opportunities for romance.

For others, the social “game,” so to speak, is incredibly difficult and unnatural to them. They might have very few friends or opportunities for romance – if not none at all.

For these latter people, they might look around at how everyone else in the world gets along and wonder if there is something wrong with them. They might wonder “do people like me?” or, even worse, “do people hate me?”

Unfortunately, in many cases, the answer might be, on the whole, no and yes, respectively. Having to deal with insecurities that you are not well liked or even hated can be incredibly demoralizing, and can certainly impact the rest of your life.

If you’re having thoughts of “do people hate me?” and fear that the answer might be yes, it is incredibly important to try and figure out why, and try to see what you can do about it.

Keep in mind that whatever problems you have, socially, are not your fault. You did not choose your genetics – if they are in any way deficient – you did not choose your parents, and you did not choose the other influences that you had growing up that shaped your development as a social being. If you are unpopular, lonely, or afraid that people hate you, it is not because there is something wrong with you, and you do not deserve such a situation.

With this in mind, you can move on to try and improve your situation.

The first thing you should do is try and evaluate your standards for people, both for friends and for potential romantic partners. Are they too high? Are they unreasonable? In many cases the reason you might be driving people away is that you find it hard to “settle” for being around people that might not totally understand you and might not be as smart or interesting as you want them to be. Sometimes, just learning to accept more people – and different people – can be an unexpected way to start making new friends.

Finally, if you’re worried that people don’t like you, you should try and figure out what it might be about you that is unattractive to people. Is it simply your looks? In that case, try and dress better and take care of any glaring features in your appearance, if you can. Is it that you’re an asshole? Learn to be nicer to people. Are you simply a strange person? Try to meet others who are as strange as you or, at least, will understand and accept you. In all cases, be constantly looking for ways you can help yourself, and make it more likely for you to be more satisfied with your social life than you are now.

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Sometimes marriage life can grow boring and monotonous, the passion between you and your wife can fade, and you can be forced to look to things outside of it for excitement and stimulation.

It can be at this moment that you might look to have an affair, either with someone you know already, or someone you might meet somewhere. The most common place to have one – and perhaps the easiest – is at work.

Disclaimer: before you decide to try and learn how to have an affair at work and actively pursue it, you better know what you’re getting yourself into. Having an affair can absolutely spell the end of a marriage, and it will make it much more difficult for you to have time with your children if you have any, and if you do it with the wrong person it might even ruin your career. In short, it is extremely risky, and although it can also be extremely fun and rewarding you should make sure it is worth it before proceeding.

If you have indeed weighed the pros and cons and decided you really do want to learn how to have an affair at work, then there are a few things you need to keep in mind. The first is regarding who to have an affair with.

The easiest women at work to have an affair with are ambitious interns, secretaries, and assistants. They are often young and attractive, often attracted to more powerful or wealthy men, and will sometimes even see it as a chance to get ahead in the company. This can be fun (and again, they can be extremely hot), but it can also be dangerous. Because the power dynamics of your relationship with her will be skewed largely in your favor, you could be faced with either a very clingy girl on your hands, or one who might threaten to expose the affair unless you provide her with benefits.

Having an affair with a coworker of fairly equal status, therefore, is a much safer bet if you’re looking for a healthier relationship. It might, however, lead to very awkward situations if the affair ends badly, because you probably have to see this woman a lot.

Finally, you can always have an affair with your boss. This can be very thrilling, but also dangerous, because not only will she be wary of being used for promotions, but once again if it ends badly, your career could suffer.

The second thing to thing about when trying to learn how to have an affair at work is where to do it. The office might seem exciting, but it’s risky, and quite honestly, probably much more uncomfortable than you might think. It is usually a better idea to either rent a hotel room (use cash!) or go to her place.

Finally, you need to think about how this is going to affect your life at home (and it will). The main thing you should absolutely be doing is keeping this affair secret.

Telling your wife about it is nothing but you being selfish.

It will never make her happy to learn about it. You are the one having the affair, and it should be on you to live with that burden and have to deal with lying about it. Make sure you shower every time before you come home, and make sure you don’t act differently when you are there (this includes in your sex life with your wife; don’t suddenly lose interest in it or she will become suspicious.)

Having an affair at work can be a great way to find the excitement you crave while maintaining the stability and calm of married life. In rare cases it can actually help your marriage, by making you appreciate your wife more. Just make sure if you decide to have one, you do it right.

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Learning how to kiss a teenage girl is not so different from learning how to kiss any girl. It’s mainly about not being sloppy, and about what you do in between the actual time your lips spend with hers.

There are, however, unique tendencies when it comes to kissing teenage girls as opposed to much older ones, mainly that she will have not had very much experience with kissing (which lowers the pressure on you), and that she will place a lot more importance on kissing as a romantic action (which, of course, raises the pressure on you.)

Every kiss starts with eye contact. Your gaze locks upon hers, she smiles, bites her lip, or gives you other such inviting gestures, you start to lean forward, she does too, and the next thing you know the kiss has begun. This will be the same, for the most part, with women of any age.

A very important part of being a good kisser, no matter who you are kissing, is to start off slowly. Unless it is the heat of the moment and passion is intense and you’re about to rip off each others’ clothes and begin having sex, you should treat the kiss as a moment to be savored, not simply as a gateway to something else.

Don’t immediately insert your tongue into her mouth. Give the kiss time to develop. Lock your lips with hers, breath in and feel her breathing as well, and then back away. Look into her eyes as she opens them. Then kiss her again (still softly.)

Do this repeatedly until she seems to be begging for more. Only then should you start to slowly use your tongue, first lightly touching her lips with it, then brushing against her tongue. At this point you can periodically move to her neck and perhaps below, and the kiss may lead to something else. If not, however, you should simply continue to kiss her, mixing up the pace and intensity of the act.

Knowing how to kiss a teenage girl starts with this (knowing how to kiss, period.) However, there are some differences that tend to occur between a teenage girl or an older one.

For one thing, they tend to have less experience, and because of this they might be passive or too aggressive, or just bad in any other way. The key is to be patient. Lead by example, and they will eventually adapt to your style of kissing and become better. It is amazing how fast this process can happen.

A final thing to note when it comes to knowing how to kiss a teenage girl is that she will be much less likely to allow or expect the kiss to lead to something else. Depending on how old she is and what her previous romantic experiences have been like, she may never have done anything else.

Unless you are at the point where she is comfortable with you, she is likely to be intimidated or even frightened if you start to grab her breasts or go for her crotch while kissing her – something that can easily be done with older women. It is better to take things slowly, starting with her neck, and then maybe working your way down, gauging her reaction all the way, before trying to go any further. It is not always a bad idea, either, to simply ask her if she’s comfortable with taking things further.

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Sometimes people get to a point where they are simply dissatisfied with their social lives, with their friends, their romantic lives, and with the way they spend their free time. This has to do with the place you live and with the amount of money you have (or don’t have.) It has to do with just breaking up with someone or realizing your girlfriend isn’t as great as you thought she might be, and many other things.

The most likely cause of dissatisfaction with life, however, is that you don’t have the right friends, or you don’t have enough of them.

In this situation, figuring out where to make new friends, or how to make new friends, can be extremely beneficial to your social existence and your life in general. Making new friends, however, is difficult.

Friendships are generally built off a great amount of time spent together, a collection of memories and inside jokes, and a general correlation of interests between the two of you. These things, especially the first two, generally are not present at the beginning of a relationship. Building new friendships can therefore be awkward and difficult and might frustrate you. The question of how to make new friends is therefore a very difficult one to answer.

Generally, you must spend a lot of time with new people, see who you connect with best, see who’s interests are most similar to yours, and figure out who you like spending time with the most. From here you should try and give yourself opportunities to hang out with them and let things go from there. However, because everyone is different, the details regarding how you should try and become friends with them will vary greatly.

The question of where to make new friends can perhaps be a more useful one to examine. One of the biggest obstacles in the way of making new friends is not giving yourself the opportunities to.

It is natural to fall into patterns and routines regarding your social life, to do the same things over and over again and avoid stepping outside your comfort zones. This is okay if you’re happy with such an existence, but if you were trying to figure out where to make new friends, and are in fact seeking them, this is a bad pattern to fall into. You should be making an effort to join new organizations and participate in activities you normally wouldn’t participate in, with people you might not normally participate in anything with.

You might figure out that your relationships with people are better in new circumstances or within new contexts, and you might also figure out that you get along better with different kinds of people than you were used to considering as potential friends.

A final note regarding making new friends: It’s easy to convince yourself that people who want to hang out with you are better friends than they actually are. Because you are looking for new friends you might settle for anyone who wants to spend time with you. This will not, however, solve your problem with your social life. You should always stick to a certain standard regarding friends, and if you don’t find anyone that meets that standard you should simply keep looking, rather than lowering those standards.

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Some break ups are extremely difficult to take. You might still be in love with her, you might still have strong hopes of getting back with her, or you might simply be unready to move on to someone else. Others, however, are less emotional, and might even be downright nasty – especially if it is the result of one of you cheating on the other.

In these situations, instead of missing your ex and struggling to move on with her, you might want to get back at her. You might, as they say, want very much to “win” the break up. To do this, you need to know the best ways to get back at your ex.

How do you go about doing this?

Getting back at your ex is actually fairly simple. It involves, mainly, being happier than her after you are both single again. It involves the knowledge that anyone looking at both of your lives from the outside would easily realize that the break up was much harder on her than you, and it would involve both you and your ex knowing this as well.

One way of doing this is not contacting her.

As angry or resentful as you might be due to the circumstances of your break-up, you will almost surely have a night or two where you miss being with her, and where you cannot help but think about her fondly. The urge in this situation might be to send her a sweet text or call her just to “see how she’s doing.”

Do not do this.

If you are in this situation where getting back with your ex will almost surely not happen, contacting her will only make her view you as needy or, worse, pathetic, and will convince her that she’s better off than you are. This will make it much harder for you to win your break-up with her.

Another thing to do if you’re trying to get back at your ex in the most effective way is to go out and have fun, and try to get her to find out about it. This might mean hooking up with or flirting with other girls in front of her (or in front of someone she knows), or it might simply mean going out with your buddies, going on trips, and doing things that you weren’t really able to do when you were with her. In all cases the key is to appear to be doing great – and ideally you would be simply having a lot of fun – and like you have no need of your ex anymore.

The best way to get back at your ex, by far, is to find another girl and, furthermore, to find a better one. This could mean one that is more attractive, or more successful, or more likeable, etc, or it could simply mean one that makes you much happier than your ex ever did.

Ideally, this girl will almost make you forget about your ex completely, and it is at the moment when you realize that you don’t even give a s**t anymore about getting back at your ex – because you are in such a great place in your romantic life – that you have gotten back at her, in the greatest way possible.

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People seeking advice on relationships often look for suggestions regarding what to do in a specific situation, or how to relate to a specific kind of girl or guy, or even simply when to do or say certain things that might serve as “checkpoints” within a relationship. Advice in this regard can certainly be useful – assuming the rest of your relationships is extremely healthy and effective – but it rarely makes a real difference in the quality of relationships. This, instead, comes from advice dealing with the very core of your interactions with her and, to challenge you further, with the way you view and act within relationships in general.

Simply put, the greatest problem with most relationships is a lack of honest, effective, communication.

Couples talk past each other rather than to each other. They have different conceptions of where they are in their relationship, and where it is going in the future. The idea they have of the person they are dating is different than the actual person they are dating.

And so on.

These problems stem from either a certain laziness to discuss difficult questions regarding the relationship, a fear that either such talks might drive the other person away or put too much pressure on the relationship or that the other person will simply get angry, or from a desire to gain power over the other person in the relationship rather than engendering honesty, trust, and love.

While these problems might stem entirely from the actions of that other person, it is far more likely that they also come, at least in some way, from you. One hand can’t clap, as they say, and issues in a relationship have to do with both members of it. This is both bad news – you might have to do some careful and difficult self-evaluation, and take responsibility in this situation – and good news, as being a cause of a problem also allows you to have the power to solve it.

The part of such advice on relationships is to urge both of you to talk about where you are in the relationship, and what you hope to get out of it in the future. If one of you is acting under one impression about your relationship and the other under another, miscommunication is almost bound to occur, and one of you is almost bound to get hurt.

Even if it seems obvious to you what the nature of your relationship is, you should talk to the other person about it.

Just let them know how you feel about them, how you feel about the label that your relationship has, and let them know what you want out of the future of the relationship. This is an easy way to avoid confusion.

The final thing to do is to make sure that you are looking for the right things out of your relationships, and acting in the right way. Ask yourself: are you trying to manipulate the other person to do what you want – whether it is to have sex with you, to make more money, to go to a certain restaurant, etc – on a consistent basis, rather than talking about things and compromising with them? This is common, but it is bad. Are you frequently lying to them or hiding things from them, even if you think it is for their benefit? This is also a very bad habit to get into. Relationships must be build on trust, effective communication, and relatively equal power between the two of you. If they are not, you should always be working to correct the issue.

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Telling a girlfriend that you “want to just be friends” is one of the most classic, clichéd ways of breaking up with her or, of course, her breaking up with you. While its main purpose, perhaps, might be to simply soften the crushing blow to the self-esteem, confidence, and level of happiness that can accompany being dumped, it might also contain an element (or many elements) of truth to it.

In many cases, the reason you two broke up might not be that you don’t like each other or even don’t like being around each other, but simply that you might not be attracted to each other anymore, that you have very different desires regarding your futures, or simply that you are moving away. In any of these cases, you both might want very much to actually remain friends, and in this case saying you just want to be friends would not simply serve as rhetoric.

Knowing how to be friends with your ex, however, is not such a simple thing.

Once you have dated a girl, once you have seen her at her most vulnerable, once you have had those passionate, intimate interactions with her, once you’ve loved her, it is almost impossible to have a “normal” friendship with her. There is no going back to the way things were before you dated (assuming you were friends with her before then.)

Because it’s so difficult to learn how to be friends with your ex, there are several things to keep in mind. The first is to give it time. It might be a good idea to stop contacting her, or at least stop contacting her frequently, right after the separation.

If you continue to interact with her in familiar ways, you’ll have a very hard time avoiding familiar feelings you have associated with her. Don’t be rude about this of course – don’t completely ignore her if she talks to you, for example – but make a conscious effort to give yourself some space from her and her from you, in order to allow time to distance yourself from the raw, passionate emotions you have shared with her in the past.

The second thing to keep in mind is to, at the very least, view other women as legitimate potential romantic partners. Often, the most important and often the most difficult part of moving on from someone is being able to see yourself with someone else. However, if your goal is truly to move on, and simply be friends with your ex, the best thing to do is to give yourself to opportunities to find someone else. The best way of being able to finally become normal friends with your ex is if you – and ideally, her as well – find someone else to associate those romantic and/or sexual feelings with. Only then can your relationship with your ex seem relatively normal when it is merely a platonic one.

The final thing to keep in mind if you want to be friends with your ex is to temper your expectations. Being “just friends” with your ex is extremely difficult, and it may never happen for you.

On one hand, you might learn that without the romantic aspect of it, your relationship with her is not so special anymore. On the other, you might learn that you simply cannot be around her without wanting more from her than just friendship. She might share either of these feelings. In the end, very few couples do manage to stay in touch and stay friends after they separate, and there is a great chance you could be one of them.

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Knowing how to get back at your ex most effectively can either vindicate your decision to break up with her for cheating on you, taking you for granted, etc, or it can allow you to stick it to her for breaking up with you – and make her regret it.

Below are listed five actions that demonstrate extensive knowledge regarding how to get back at your ex, in order of how effective they are:

5. Ignore her. Little can be more frustrating to her than if she tries to talk to you after a break-up and you do not respond. Conversely, little can validate her view that she is too good for you more than you pining after her, drunk-calling her, or texting her asking how she is doing. If you are looking to get back at your ex you should avoid contacting her at all, and if you do run into her, do not let her think that you miss her at all.

4. Have as much fun as possible, and let her see or find out about it if you can. Go out with your buddies. Throw yourself into activities that you could never find the time to do when you were with her. Go out and flirt with or hook up with girls. Make it seem, to everyone around you (including her friends, if possible), that you are doing just fine – no, great – without her.

3. Improve yourself, and your life situation. Little can stick it to her faster than, say, losing a lot of weight after breaking up with her (or getting dumped), or working out again, or buying an improved wardrobe, or getting a new job, buying a new car, etc. This makes it seem that, not only are you doing well without her, but that you were never motivated to improve yourself and your situation in life when you were with her. If she finds out about any or all of what you are doing to make such improvements, it will be difficult for her to not take it personally.

2. Meet another girl who makes you happy, and begin dating her. There is no faster way to get back at your ex than finding someone else – especially someone better. This might mean finding a girl who is more attractive, likeable, successful, etc, than your ex, or simply one that makes you happier than she ever made you. The most important thing to keep in mind if you want to accomplish this is to put yourself back out there, give yourself as many opportunities as you can to meet new women, and then learning from your previous relationship experience(s) and becoming as charming, confident, and likeable a guy as you can be.

1. Hook up with, or date, her close friend, sister, co-worker, or anyone else that she sees all the time and values her relationship with. This is, quite simply, the greatest (and in some cases nastiest) way to get back at your ex. She will be forced to see you canoodling with someone she cares about (in this case, her sister might be the worst for her), and she will be forced to see that you are happy with someone else. As an added bonus, this might even result in her losing a friend or her resenting someone she used to care about very much. There is no more complete way to “win” your break-up then this.

If you’re looking to learn how to get back at your ex in the best way possible, these five actions, while certainly not the only good ones to take, will undoubtedly lead you to success.

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It’s true that turning a girl on involves much more than knowing the best things to say to her. You should be able to control your body language, project confidence through your tone, your eye contact, and your posture – among other things – and make your appearance as attractive as possible. However, your words are equally important – if not more important – when it comes to arousing women.

Knowing the right things to say to turn a girl on, whether out in public or already naked in the bedroom, can make all the difference in attracting them and in dramatically improving the quality of your love life.

If you’re looking for the best things to say to turn a girl on, the first thing to keep in mind is to personalize your compliments. Compliments are always a good way of making a woman feel special and desired, but it’s those specific, personalized comments that can make her want to throw herself all over you. Don’t tell her she looks nice, tell her what about her looks nice. Tell her how adorable her freckle is, or how beautiful her smile is right after you kiss her, etc. This can work whether you are out to dinner or already in the bedroom.

Another very important thing to remember is to use second person when you talk to her.

Don’t tell her “that feels so good,” tell her “you make me feel so good.” Don’t tell her “I want to make out,” tell her “I want to make out with you.”

This might seem like a subtle distinction, but it can make all the difference when it comes to turning a woman on. This too is something to keep in mind both in and out of the bedroom.

When you do get to the bedroom (or at least to a private location), take a little bit of control. Be confident in your words. Tell her what you’re going to do to her – assuming, of course, that you know she wants to hook up with you – and how you’re going to make her feel. Don’t ask many questions of her in the heat of the moment, as they take away from the passionate nature of what you are doing, and also make you seem rather passive or detached.

Finally, you should not only be concerned that she is being satisfied and getting what she wants in the bedroom, but also that she knows you are. Tell her that you want to make her feel great. Tell her you want to make her cum. Tell her you love seeing her satisfied and happy. Nothing turns a girl on more than a man confidently telling her he’s going to make her feel great.

A final note: figuring out the best things to say to turn a girl on can certainly make you much more effective at attracting and satisfying women, but they can also be dangerous. Sometimes, during the heat of the moment, you might promise her things or imply certain feelings you have towards her that might not be completely honest. In short, you might lie to her about the way you feel and you might hurt her in the future. Make sure when you’re talking to her to try and avoid misleading her or making any promises you can’t keep.

 

Ask Vin DiCarlo – Got a question? Unsure where to begin? Leave a comment below and I’ll help you build your confidence in the bedroom.