Be Persistent When Picking up a Girl

Say a guy approaches a girl in a bar and doesn’t get a warm reaction; a lot of guys would just give up. Are there benefits to sticking out the conversation? Or should he just try to pick up the next girl that smiles at him?

Do you want to learn how to make sure your phone is full of beautiful ladies’ phone numbers? If so, read on!

We’ve been really working on putting a model together where guys can actually have a system that they put in place that will allow them to be more persistent with women.

Being more persistent when picking up a girl

Be Persistent and Honest and before you know it, she'll be giving you her number!

 1. Persistence is Attractive

The first layer of the persistence model is telling yourself that you’re not going to take ‘no’ for an answer. This is also a holistic lifestyle element as well, check out this guy and his amazing attitude. What are your favorite excuses?

Let’s say you try to get a girl’s number and she puts up a little bit of resistance. She might say, ‘I really don’t give my number out to guys in clubs.’ You know what, I’m not going to take no for an answer. Here’s my phone, why don’t you put your number in?’

If she continues to put up some resistance then there are some other levels that we can take this to.

What do you find challenging about being persistent? Please comment in the box below.

2. Honesty

The second layer of persistence is being honest.

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I think being honest with a girl is really powerful. You can just say something like, ‘I’ve got to be completely honest with you; there’s something about you that I just really like. I don’t know if it’s your energy, I’m not sure if it’s your personality, but there is something that I feel really connected to.’ This will instantly get her attention and draw her into the conversation.

Continue to say ‘I would honestly love to see you again to just see if there’s a connection. I’d just feel terrible if I didn’t get that opportunity.’

You’ll find that if you work on these two layers of persistence that will usually be enough to win a woman over. A lot of the time, she’s not actually saying ‘no,’ she’s just saying ‘not yet.’ She’s testing you and wanting you to have to invest a little bit more. She’s essentially testing how keen you are in wanting to see her again.

3. Know when to Quit

Now at the same time, if a girl isn’t responding positively and she’s not investing in you, at some point you have to just acknowledge that and say to yourself, ‘Well you know what, she’s not really worth my time. She’s not interested in me.’ Got a question about knowing when to quit? Please ask, I promise to take the time to personally respond.

You have to think that clearly she’s not a good fit for you, so you have to move on. I think as guys start to develop more of an abundant mindset and they recognize how many thousands of beautiful, intelligent women are out there in the universe waiting to be approached, it makes it that much easier not to get hung up on one girl.

What do you think? What strategies have you tried to meet more women? What worked and didn’t work for you? Share your experiences in the comments box below.

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  1. Lance G. /

    My recent experience:

    Generally speaking, when doing “cold approaches” (what i do 99% of the time), I stop currently when:

    a) She walks away. I never chase her. Some months ago I did it with three girls or so and got TERRIBLE results. One of them lost her nerves and started to yelling at me… it was really frightening.

    However, I don’t know if I should break this rule when she just go away simply because nothing else crossed my mind after my compliment or “opener”. For example:

    “Beatiful t-shirt”
    My mind goes blank for a second and she continues walking or whatever she was doing before meet me, like talking with her friends in the sidewalk café.

    b) She changes from a neutral or even friendly / flirty behaviour to an extremly cold/bitchy stance, specially if she does so while at the same time turning away her face. I find the later both humillating and irrespectful, so unless i had before a long and meaningful or intense interaction with her, I inmediatly retire my attention.

    c) Simply having the intuition I’m beggining to pestering her. Unfortunely, this idea comes to my mind often, so many times don’t know if it’s truly something that is happening or just my own lack or self-esteem being my worst obstacle to overcome.

    Other than that, all relies on my self-confidence and the correct functioning of my mind when the to say, rejection test, comes in. If my mind gets frozen… well, obviously i can’t do anything, and if not, i insist up to two times. At tne moment I can’t persist more than two times without feeling I’m pestering her.

    The Facebook account i got came from persistance. I asked for the phone number first and she seemed reluctant to give such a thing from the 2 minutes interaction we have had (I talked with her in the subway), yet i asked again in a familiar and humoristic way and she accepted to give me her FB before leaving the train.

    What do you think? Should I change my strategy?

    By the way, if you feel the interaction not was good enough in rapport and sexual tension terms, do you think it’s still a good idea to give YOUR Facebook or phone number without asking for anything in exchange? I have done it several times lately (six or seven times), and for now, leaded me to nothing.

  2. Vin DiCarlo /

    It seems like you need to improve your image, and general energy. Being persistent is very important, but if you are getting continual instant push aways then your first impression needs a major make-over.

    The main thing that stood out here was “doing cold approaches 99% of the time”. This is usually the worst strategy for most guys – especially at the beginning – and doesn’t result in dates or sex. Focus on improving your social circle and lifestyle so you meet women through other avenues.

    I wouldn’t give your number to her, without getting anything back. But looking at your other comments you seem like a really one dimension “game guy”, e.g. doing lots of approaches, working on your game all the time but not taking a holistic approach. That’s a failure waiting to happen in my opinion.


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