Dear Vin,
I’d like some help getting better at foreplay. Should I be watching videos, reading books, or just getting as much experience possible? I’m afraid to jump in and learn by experience I don’t want to develop a reputation for being rotten in bed!
Good foreplay is like a floating fairy of pleasure
Most definitely!
If you watch videos, read books, or surf the Internet to see different forms of foreplay, you’ll get a good idea of what you could be doing that you’re not doing right now.
When you watch foreplay demonstrations, keep an eye out for suggestive commentary, erogenous zones, sexual positions, and anything else that could improve your foreplay techniques. Monkey see, monkey do is just as effective when it comes to foreplay as it is for anything else in life.
As you watch foreplay demonstrations that teach you what she wants, make sure you fill in the blanks on things you really can’t see.
For instance, when you watch a movie you can’t tell how much pressure a man applies to a woman, nor can you tell when his pressure levels change. As a general rule of thumb, you want to use a soft touch on her arms, hands, and face. Gently run your fingers across those areas with lots of nerve endings and caress her body, so softly you can hardly tell you’re touching her. Her body should show you when she wants you to apply more pressure. Just follow the progression and build things up to her highest level of horniness.
Then in this case, how much can you learn from your partner? Is it good to ask her to show you what she likes and demonstrate it on you or whatever?
Having your partner show you what she wants is the best way to know what she likes.
Ask her for a foreplay demonstration on your body, so you can actually feel what turns her on. Tread gently when you ask her for any sort of foreplay demonstration, because you don’t want her to feel put on the spot. Start off with simple things like having her rub her hands over your chest, arms, or shoulders.
Pay attention to the amount of pressure she uses and any areas where she may linger.
If she’s demonstrating what she likes to feel, chances are that she wants you to mimic exactly what she’s doing.
Once you get her to teach you what she wants, apply your new knowledge to her body. Tell her to take your hand and put it wherever she wants it on her body. Follow the pace she set, when she gave you her foreplay demonstration and try to read her body language. As you get closer to giving her what she wants, your mind will think, “That’s more like it.”
Follow your intuition and tell her that she can move your hand or give suggestions, if she wants something different. A lot of girls may feel shy because they don’t want to hurt your feelings.
So to put their minds at ease you can say, “Hey look. Don’t be shy. If you don’t like something just tell me. Tell me if it’s awkward, tell me to just slow down, tell me to do it softer, or tell me to do it harder because I REALLY want to please you.”
If you can be bold enough to accept criticism without feeling hurt, she will gradually feel comfortable enough to tell you exactly what she wants.
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You do want her to brag to her friends about your “moves” don’t you? You can keep ‘wondering’ what she wants, get up the balls to ask her and HOPE she tells the truth or turn her on before she knows what hit her. It’s your choice!
