Your puppet master cares about one thing, and it’s not you. Discover who’s pulling your string and how to take back your life so you finally experience your freedom with this…
When people stroke our ego and tell us how wonderful we are, it makes us feel good. We crave this good feeling like a drug. We are addicted to it and seek it out whenever we can. If you want to know how to stop caring, then read on. I have everything you need to know in order to not care.
Don’t rely on others…
Whilst getting positive approval from others is important, we shouldn’t rely on it in our lives. For a lot of us that suffer from low self-esteem, we constantly compare ourselves to others and we care about how others think of us, which can really affect our progression and our ability to live the life that we want to live.
Think of it this way – how often do you compare yourself to others? How often do you compare yourself to a standard of how you should be? This habit of comparison is incredibly common and we all do it on a regular basis. Part of this is a result of our evolution as social primates. We have continual awareness of a group and where we fit in.
Guys are worse for this than you might think…
For guys that have low social confidence, they often compare themselves to others in a negative manner. Basically, a lot of their comparisons involve the person being evaluated better than them.
For example, when they perhaps see a guy talking to an attractive woman, their first thought is, “There’s no way I could ever do that. He’s so much more confident than I am.”
The ways in which we compare…
We generally compare our self to others in one of two ways. You compare yourself to someone else who you think is better at something than you, and therefore a better person than you, or you compare yourself to some standard of how you should be.
For example, they might be more confident, stronger, or so on. However, these types of comparisons will leave you feeling inferior and unfulfilled. The reality is every person has a range of skills, qualities, and abilities. Underneath this habit of comparison is just an assumption that we’re just not good enough. And this feeling is what probably contributes to you not being socially confident. It’s important to immediately change this pattern.
What you can do…
Whenever you notice yourself comparing yourself to others, gently remind yourself that you don’t want to indulge in this unhelpful pattern. There are much better ways to focus your attention.
Often, when I get these negative thoughts in my head where I start comparing myself to other guys, I become aware, and just by simply becoming aware of these thoughts I can change them around and think of myself more positively.
Meditation – could it work for you?
Stop thinking, “I care what people think,” and start thinking that you don’t have to! Meditation really helps me do this. Being able to control my thoughts a lot better and control my mind works for me, rather than against me. Reading positive affirmations also helps. Positive affirmations are statements like, “I am a great person. I’m brilliant at what I do in life and people love me for the person that I am.”
Saying these types of positive affirmations perhaps every morning or before you go to bed starts to reinforce in your subconscious mind your positive attributes and helps you maintain a more positive outlook in life and eliminates the need to continually compare yourself because you don’t think you’re enough. It can also be helpful to remind yourself that there are thousands of areas in which we could improve ourselves.
You also have to think, “Am I comparing just one part of me and ignoring the rest? Am I completely discounting my strengths and the areas where I excel? Am I focusing on the best parts of this other person?”
These questions can really help guide your thinking away from simplistic comparisons and help you start to see yourself and the other person as more complete humans with both strengths and weaknesses.