How to keep sex casual without it turning into a full-blown relationship.
Casual sex may be the only thing that we can maintain in these busy lives we lead. Many of us are not looking for long-term relationships, we just have so much going on in our lives that we don’t have time for anything serious. Casual sex can be kept casual, but it helps to know how to handle yourself so that it doesn’t go further than you intended it to go.
Casual sex begins with casual talking.
For guys that are looking for casual sex it is important that they also be comfortable with the idea that girls are going to be having sex too. Casual sex seems to be a big issue with guys and clients that I coach. They have antiquated ideas and philosophies that they must get past if they truly intend to have sex and keep it casual.
There are some guys who want to hook up and have a lot of sex but they aren’t comfortable with sex themselves. It could stem from coming from a religious background that taught them from a young age that sex before marriage is bad. They could be from a different culture whose parents have conditioned them to think that sex is bad. If they are still living under their parents roof, then bringing a girl home would really be uncomfortable and embarrassing for everyone involved.
Girls are as sexual as guys.
You have to be comfortable with the fact that girls are sexual creatures and that they love sex and having sex. And the positive out of this is that they will want to have a casual relationship with you as well. Girls are very much into sex these days, and many guys haven’t gotten past the idea that these girls must be sluts, whores, or promiscuous. Get past it, those are old ideas from even older days. I never understood why it’s alright for guys to have multiple sex partners, but yet girls who do are less than. You’re not in high school anymore, and neither are the girls you desire.
Learn to be more communicative and interact.
You need to be able to frame your interaction in a sexual way from the beginning. That could be through verbal means where you are communicating verbally to a girl and letting her know that you find her attractive. Being direct is always the best approach, it leaves out any guess work. Casual sex dating always starts with some sort of verbal interaction. I hardly doubt you are going to just walk up to some strange girl, take her by the hand, and lead her away to your bedroom.
You can say something as simple as “Wow you need to stop looking at me like that. I can’t think straight when you’re looking at me that way. You’ve actually left me speechless”. You are letting her know verbally what she is doing to you on a physical and emotional level. You are putting the blame on her for the interaction moving in a sexual direction. After all, it’s her fault that if she didn’t look so damn hot you wouldn’t be so turned on to begin with.
Learn to be comfortable with touch.
You must be comfortable with touch, and learn to be good at it. If guys can improve their ability to touch girls and escalate things to a physical level, the rest of the game becomes very easy. I encourage you to follow the DiCarlo’s Escalation Ladder which basically takes you step by step through making eye contact with a girl all the way to taking her to the bedroom, focusing on the use of touch alone to get there.
This takes a lot of pressure off of guys and allows a regular conversation to take place. It allows them to continue doing things that they were previously doing in the friend zone but because you have mastered the art of touch and are communicating to her underneath a conscious level you will stay out of the friend zone and never end up there again.
To summarize:
Casual sex can be fun, exciting, with the added benefit of no pressure. In order to keep it casual, you have to keep your thoughts in check. Get over ideas of the past where guys were just being guys, and girls were being whores. Times have changed, and so must we. Get comfortable with communicating, and learn to be a master of touch. Get out there, and get in the game. With experience comes confidence, and with confidence comes success. Having women for casual sex is great when you are not into having a full-blown relationship. Follow these hints on a casual sex relationship and see how far it takes your game.
