I want to have casual sex, Vin… but I want to find the hottest girls too; do you have suggestions? Should I be trying to play a game with her, or should I be authentic and direct?
You know… I get this question a lot and there is a lot going on here.
Let’s first talk about finding the hottest girls. If you are like me, then you find a lot of different women attractive. This means that I see hot girls almost everywhere I go… at restaurants, at cafes, walking down the street, in bars, at the library, in book stores, at the mall, and heck even at the doctor’s office. Most guys think they need to go to the club every night to meet the hottest women, but I’d just suggest that you learn to talk to women everywhere you go.
Get in the habit of approaching hot women wherever you are.
Go walk up and talk to a hottie in line at the bank. Ask another hottie for suggestions on buying a book at the book store. Talk about food with the beautiful woman in the grocery store. AND go out and meet girls at the club when you feel like partying.
You don’t need any crazy pick up lines or to read a ton of books about how to talk to women to do this. You just have to go talk to the women you want to attract. Go say hello and make a comment. Stick with it. If she doesn’t tell you to buzz off, then keep talking and keep asking her questions. Experience is the best way get better at this AND if you can get over making talking to hot women such a big deal in your head.
Do you have questions about casual sex? Ask in the comments below and I’ll answer each one personally.
But should I tell them straight up that I’m looking for casual sex or keep that under wraps?
This isn’t something that needs to be communicated early on or maybe even at all. If you share this then you are suggesting that sex is a big deal for women, when it may not be. A lot of guys assume that women don’t want to have sex as much as they do, when this is far from true. Women love sex (picture if you could orgasm over and over again). But they do have to think about how they are viewed in our culture… which can be pretty rough on sexually liberated women.
But she doesn’t want to feel like a conquest or a boost to your ego. If that is all this sex is about, then you should be doing other things to get your self-confidence in check. They want a man, who will make them feel like they are a big part of the situation and the reason the situation is arising in the first place. She wants you to want HER, not just any woman. In other words, she wants to believe that a man’s urge to have sex with her arose within him as soon as he saw her – that she caused that urge in him.
They do not want to think that the guy had it in his head to get some sex that night and that they are just the person with whom he crossed paths first. Women enjoy sex and want to experience it with a sexual man… someone who can give them the sex that they really want (the kind that they fantasize about).
Just don’t ever let them think that you objectify them as an outlet for your sexual urges.
The truth is, instead of worrying, focus on showing her a really fun time. Take her on an adventure that ends at your house. Ask her questions about her passions and be interested in the answers. Take her to places that she has never been before. Touch her as you do it and don’t be afraid to talk about sex, if the subject comes up.
Have a plan, but go with the flow, all at the same time. If you notice something fun to do, then go do it. But always be leading her back to your place. Most women need a comfortable place for sex and a reason to be back there. Get a great DVD or show her your music collection or that collection of videos you made from your trip to Europe. Then go have sex with her and focus on having fun with it. Enjoy yourself as you have sex and take the time to give her a lot of pleasure too. This is the best way to give her great sex.
You talk about making sure that you’re giving her great sex. How do you suggest a guy doesn’t let that become too important and throw him off, because giving yourself expectations usually leads to failure?
Guys need to stop being so single focused on being a sex god. Just focus on taking your time with her, listening to how she responds to your touch, and focus on making sure that she is having a great time. Enjoy yourself in the process to, because women love to see you enjoy yourself.
Then go meet more women. There is nothing wrong with casual sex, if you are honest about it and genuine.
The more women you meet will start to take the pressure off of you. You begin to realize that you don’t have anything to lose if you understand everything you’re learning and the more experience you build is just going to give you such an abundance of women that it won’t even be a concern anymore for you.
The fastest, easiest way to be better with women is learn exactly how they think and understand the 8 unique types of women you’ll meet…
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