We’ve all been there. That sinking feeling when you look at her, open your mouth and realize… you’ve run out of things to say! If she hasn’t started worrying yet, she will now, and you know what that leads to…
I’m going to teach you some timeless strategies that you can use to turn conversation from an area of fear to one of 100% confidence. The common mistakes guys make in conversation are vast and varied. From not being an interesting enough guy, to asking too many questions, to simply not being comfortable with periods of silence – the list goes on and on.
Well, one thing is for sure, a lack of conversation or confidence really holds guys back with meeting women. It limits talking to enough women, meeting enough women, and ultimately asking them out. It also leads to a fair bit of fear that perhaps she’s going to get bored and walk away or you’re going to become annoying to her. I recommend two things you must do to build your conversational confidence.
Spend more time with people…
Number one: spend less time at home alone. Calculate exactly how many hours and minutes you spent at home on your own this week while you weren’t sleeping. Now, what I want you to do next week is reduce this by 20%.
It doesn’t really matter what you do. Walk around your city taking photographs; take up a new hobby. Just be sure to spend less time alone. In all my studying of students and their behavioral patterns, I have found that the biggest impedance to conversational confidence is spending too much time home alone. The less of this you do, the better you’re going to be at finding things to talk about.
It’s not all about the gift of the gab…
Number two: realize that you don’t need to be good with conversation to pick up girls. I have picked up a lot of girls and barely spoken to them at all. Many of my friends who are great with girls are in fact pretty poor with conversation. They’re usually good at making up for their lack of conversation with tactful touching and kissing. I recommend reducing the pressure on yourself by remembering this: being a great conversationalist isn’t crucial for picking up women.
I’ve met a lot of guys who pick up more women up in non-English speaking countries, because they stop talking so much and start communicating non-verbally. They’ve got less to say, so instead start showing more interest in girls and hitting on them in a more forward manner. It can be good for you in some circumstances to talk less and do more.
Finally: don’t be shy. Shyness is just going to hold you back, limiting your ability to open up and express yourself the way you’d like to. There are no benefits gained from being shy, so take the plunge and tell yourself instead to be confident. By becoming a more social person, you will never run out of things to say to girls – and if conversation is failing you, take a risk and go in for a kiss. You might get lucky.