You May Feel Like You’re Playing it Safe–
Setting Yourself Up to Attract a Nice Girl Who Wants to Settle Down
But to Her You Don’t Look SECURE…
You Look BORING
Q: Can you suggest some challenges to get out of your comfort zone for a guy who goes to work, comes home, runs a few errands, and basically leads a fairly routine and disinteresting life?
I think it’s really important for us to expand beyond our comfort zone; not just for the purpose of meeting women, but in life in general. That’s just how we grow as people. However, to avoid being overwhelmed, it is important to start off slowly. Our social confidence is like a muscle – if we don’t train it, it will atrophy. After all, no sane person lifts 200 pound weights the first time they go weight-lifting. You’ll obviously fail and then become demoralized. So – baby steps.
If asking a girl on the street for her number is a very difficult feat for you to accomplish, and you’ve never tried doing anything like that before, then you want to start off slowly. Perhaps consider asking random people, or girls specifically, for the time or for directions. Aim to ask 10 to 15 random people on the street for the time. That’s the challenge to get outside of your comfort zone for day one.
Then maybe the next day you’ll want to try out something a little different. It might be a matter of prolonging eye contact with a girl for longer than normal; perhaps until it feels almost uncomfortable – and then easing off. You don’t want to be too creepy, but learn to feel comfortable with holding eye contact for a little longer than you usually do.
Other things you could try are to engage in conversations with complete strangers. Just talk to a random person, or smile at people and say hello as you pass them by (if they don’t answer, don’t take it personally – you either took them by surprise or they’re just rude).
The overarching concept is to start getting comfortable with doing things that are a little outside of your normal day to day routine. As you do, your social confidence will inevitably start to build up. Think of it as a warm up.
Thus, when it finally comes to seeing a girl that you really like, going up to her, and starting a conversation that culminates with getting her phone number, it will be as easy as pie; and all because you’ve done the necessary prior preparation. Now struggling to start conversations with women will feel like a thing of the past.
I’m sure that certain places are better or worse to take on some of these challenges and expand your comfort zone. Where might be a good place to initiate conversations, and where might a girl not feel all that uncomfortable being approached by strangers?
Places that I generally prefer to do this in are malls, cafes, etc. You’re looking for areas of high traffic, where there are a lot of women around. It’s going to feel strange for her, but it’s up to you to make her feel comfortable. Just be cool with the situation and make it short, flirty and fun.
I think there’s also a bit of a romantic element to this, because you’re thinking a little outside the box of traditional clichés like bars and night clubs. Aim to be the kind of guy who can meet women anywhere.
She’s going to think and tell her friends that, “Some great, hot guy just started chatting to me on the street. We talked for just five minutes, had a great conversation, and I’m going to see him again tomorrow on a date!”
Want to go so far outside the box with a technique so powerful that she’ll be devestated if you don’t ask her to go home with you?
Get the 3 questions she expects you to ask when you approach her on the street, and the 30 innocent game-changing words you need to drop into casual conversation to guarantee she’ll be dreaming about her legs wrapped around your…
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