Do you feel intimated when approaching a girl for the first time?
Don’t worry – you aren’t alone! Starting a conversation, handling awkward pauses, and dealing with the fear of rejection can seem almost impossible. That’s why I want to share several tips with you which will dramatically improve your game.
***And when you are finished reading… please take a few seconds and share one of your dating frustrations. I’d like to help you and will try to answer each comment personally.
Tip #1: Become comfortable with silence
Engaging with other people and having stimulating conversations requires more than great conversational skills. Obviously certain abilities, like how you adapt your tone and manage your pacing, are very important. But you also need to be comfortable with awkward pauses because that silence can actually be a great way to build tension and maintain control of the interaction.
I strongly encourage you to get used to that awkwardness and become more comfortable with it, because it will serve you in so many powerful ways. For example, silence can be a great way to create intrigue. You can even use it as a vacuum to get women to feel compelled to respond to you. Stop treating silence as something negative and learn to master it!
Tip #2: Shape your conversations
One of the other things about silence that makes it so important is that you can use it to shape conversations. Think of it in terms of music: as important as the melody or the beat is, it is silence that breaks up that melody and the beat. Every conversation has a certain amount of silence. You can use that silence to vary the speed with which you talk and create more emotion.
For example, imagine that you decide to approach a woman and compliment her by telling her how gorgeous you think she is. Rushing up to her and blurting it out as quickly as possible wouldn’t be nearly as effective as taking your time and emphasising each word by slowing your pace. Being able to vary your pace, and being comfortable with using silence to empower your conversations, can make a huge difference.
Tip #3: Learn when to talk and when to act!
Silence can also be a great indicator that it is time for a little less conversation and a little more action! If you are with a girl and she isn’t saying anything, but it is obvious from her body language that she is hot for you, then more words are not the answer!
You can even use silence to build sexual tension before going in for a kiss. Sometimes it can be very powerful to just gaze into a woman’s eyes with complete silence. It may feel a bit awkward, but the longer you can hold that gaze and be comfortable with the silence, the more powerful it can be.
***Remember: Please share one of your dating questions in the comments below. I’d like to help you and will try to answer your comment personally.
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