Navigating the seas of relationships can require some mapping.
Is it necessary to know where you want the relationship to go right from the start? Yes and no. If you already know you just want sex then tell her, otherwise it’s far more complicated than a simple: yes or no.
Here are some simple tips…
Relationships are like boats. You want to set a general direction, but be open to changing it a little to suit the prevailing winds.
***And when you are finished reading… please take a few seconds and share one of your dating frustrations. I’d like to help you and will try to answer each comment personally.
Here’s a question from our readers…
Q: Let’s say a guy gets involved in a relationship with a girl. Should he have a dating plan in mind, and an accurate idea of where he wants to take the relationship? Or should he just wing it and see how things develop themselves?
It’s a bit of both. On the one hand, you certainly want to know what you’re looking for from a girl and from a relationship. I really encourage guys to create two top ten lists.
Create a list of your ideal girl qualities…
The first top ten list ought to include all the qualities you want in a partner; qualities and traits that you feel are a good fit for you. This might be the way she looks, the things that she’s interested in, and her nature and personality. Is she nurturing and kind, or is she a little aggressive? Knowing exactly what you’re looking for can be very helpful, as you become able to initiate a screening process. The problem most guys encounter when they meet a beautiful girl is that they put her up on a pedestal. That’s a poor attitude that really won’t get you anywhere good, if it’ll even get you anywhere at all.
So by creating a screening process, you begin to easily dismiss many girls out there because they don’t qualify your list. You basically delineate standards for yourself. That is what confident and successful guys do. Just because she’s attractive, doesn’t mean she’s a good fit. Six months from now you might encounter a number of personal qualities about her that will frustrate you and get on your nerves.
There’s a saying for this: “For every beautiful woman out there, there’s someone fed up of her.” The reality is that when guys meet girls for the first time, they’re often not open to the possibility that she doesn’t actually tick their boxes. They just lunge at her because, well, she’s a girl. If he’s taken the time to identify beforehand what’s important to him, he will be in a much better position to judge her without bias.
Create a list of your ideal relationship…
The second top ten list should be a description of what you want the relationship to be all about. Some guys, when they meet a girl, they want to settle down with her, have two and half kids, and a home with a white picket fence. Some guys want to date multiple strippers and have threesomes. Knowing exactly what you want your relationship model to be is important. Perhaps you’re looking for a serious relationship, but are willing to let it become casual if the two of you don’t connect beyond the bedroom.
By deciding from the start what you want and having a dating plan, you can better shape the relationship in the direction you want it to go. You’re not going to find yourself 12 months into the relationship, wondering, “Where the hell am I?” You’re going to have more control over the direction you head in.
Plan, yet be flexible…
Now I mentioned at the beginning that it is important to have a certain balance – to both plan ahead, and also give in to the currents. It is important to allow yourself some flexibility, because the nature of human beings means that everyone is an individual with their own personality. Not only will it take time for you to discover fully what you and her want, but this could be in constant flux, since we change as people.
What I’m trying to say is that what we want now may be different from what we want in 12 months time. Maybe our partner will highlight to us a part of our personality that we were missing, and they’ll actually help us find a better way. In that sense, don’t feel like you have to stick to your plan no matter what. Plans become outdated the moment we change, and for them to be relevant, they need to change with us.
Trust the chemistry…
At the end of the day, even when you have your top ten lists in front of you, it’s just words written on a piece of paper. Someone might actually fit those words perfectly, but for some reason the chemistry won’t feel right to you. On the other hand, you may encounter a girl with who you seem to bond really well, but she just doesn’t fit all of the points on your list. It is times like these that you need to disregard the list and give your relationship a chance to flourish anyway.
A good mix of both approaches is really the way to go here. Its good to have some dating plans in mind don’t be completely without a dating plan, or you will be like a boat without a heading – you might end up anywhere. But be capable of changing your direction to adjust to the prevailing winds.
***Remember: Please share one of your dating questions in the comments below. I’d like to help you and will try to answer your comment personally.
And here are 3 questions that will seduce any woman…
Now that you know how strong your dating plan should be you might like to discover the secret to getting her to tell you where she really thinks your relationship is headed by asking her the 3 most powerful questions in seduction science history. Get her to reveal exactly what she’s feeling, what she’s thinking, and learn how you should react based on how she fits into 8 dating types.
Warning: Don’t even attempt to talk to her about how she feels until you are ready for the truth, and know how to control her reaction to your questions. You can learn it here but only for a limited time. Don’t allow your failure to learn from this free video the reason you didn’t work out.
