Being relaxed on a date helps your true self shine
I want to point out right at the beginning that this is not medical or psychological advice.
In many places anxiety is treated as a medical condition, which it rightly should be. There are a lot of people that avoid getting professional help and try and “go it alone” and that never works. I’ve had a mountain of success with students where nothing else worked for them by sending them to a specialist clinic to get treated. Look at a list of anxiety treatment centers here.
So many guys that never get results with women are suffering from anxiety. The ones that admit it, and get something done about it are the ones that tend to turn things around.
Do you suffer from dating anxiety? I don’t mean the kind of anxiety that stops your heart or makes you fail to keep your date with a girl, I mean never enjoying yourself on your date because you are always too anxious!
Dating can be a scary situation for most guys. For a lot of guys, the nerves can be that strong that they find it difficult to just relax and show their best self. This articles provides some tips on how to overcome dating anxiety and improve your dating skills with women.
When you first start dating, there is pretty much inevitably going to be a certain level of anxiety. It’s a new experience, and it’s coupled with the fact that you are outside of your comfort zone. Any time we are outside of our comfort zone, we’re going to be challenged and feel anxious. This is a good thing because the more we push out our comfort zone, the more we build our self-esteem and our self-trust; which in the long run will serve us in so many different ways on our journey towards success.
The first and most obvious step to dealing with dating anxiety is simply going on more dates. If you’re really new to the dating scene, your focus should be to go on as many dates as possible; and through that to get more comfortable being in one-on-one situations with women. It doesn’t matter how you accomplish this. Whether it is through singles events, speed dating, numbers to follow up on – whatever it might be; just focus on trying to set yourself up on two or three dates per week for the next month, because this is really the stepping stone to getting good with women.
Just spend as much time around women as possible. You might notice that a lot of naturals tend to have many women in their lives. Whether it is sisters or friends; they tend to surround themselves with a lot of feminine energy and women in general.
In the long run, this makes them not only more comfortable with women, but allows them to better connect and relate to women on a level that they appreciate and understand. I would say that such a socialization is definitely an important part of becoming more comfortable with dating, and dealing with the associated anxiety.
Another really important factor is learning to deal with stress better. A lot of the time we simply overwhelm ourselves with stress – we often take too much on board. We juggle more than we have the time for, and that causes stress. There are a couple of ways that this can be dealt with. One is to prioritize and eliminate unnecessary tasks, and the other is to start focusing on how you can use your time better.
An excellent book on time management techniques is Brian Tracy’s “Eat That Frog!” which has some really useful and practical principles that can be applied to get the most out of your time, and remove some of that stress that comes from a really busy schedule. The title of the book actually refers to the biggest task of the day – the frog – and how eating it first thing in the morning will free up the rest of your day from stressful thoughts.
The final step, and one of the most crucial to really having success in this area, is to start specifically etching out down-time and relaxation as part of your schedule. This can mean anything from yoga to getting regular massages. It is difficult to overstate how powerful relaxing yourself is when it comes to dating women.
The comfort and relaxation that you feel will transfer over to the women that you’re dating, causing them to also be more relaxed around you. Moreover, being stress-free (due to, for example, having eaten your frog early in the morning) will allow you to project a confidence unhampered by negative thoughts in your head; and allow you to better focus on the women you are seeing.
Just imagine the difference between going on a date when a major report is due the next morning, or going on a date knowing that your work is all done.
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