Dating Friends of Friends Without Worrying

Dating Friends of Friends Without Worrying

I'm really glad your friend introduced us!

As she lays her head on your shoulder, you cannot help but think about the number of ways that this could end poorly because of your mutual relationships…

Stop worrying by following the fool-proof advice outlined below

So you’re dating a friend of a friend, but you find yourself ashamed or embarrassed about it for some reason. Maybe you’re worried about your friend finding out, and what he or she will think about it. Maybe you’re not supposed to be dating her in the first place. Is this healthy? I don’t think so.

One of the healthiest ways that a guy can build a strong base of women in his life is by being someone who is really social and has a lot of strong friendships and social circles. If you’re the sort of guy who your friends can’t wait to introduce to high quality women, and they present you in a positive light, you’re not going to have these kinds of problems in the first place. There’s nothing to be ashamed of, when you are open and honest about yourself, and you put yourself out there socially.

There are of course times when it is necessary to have a little discretion. What we have to understand is that while women generally do crave sex, unfortunately, because of the way our society is, at the same time, they risk putting their social reputations on the line every time they hook up with someone. Now, this doesn’t mean guys never put their own reputations on the line, of course – but remember, a woman always takes a bigger risk when it comes to sex anyway, at least until the day guys can get pregnant.

The way to make the woman you’re with feel better about having sex, or to help her understand that sex is a perfectly natural human desire, and not some “guy thing” she should be ashamed of, is by understanding and respecting the predicament she’s in vis-à-vis her social reputation. In certain cases, it can actually be beneficial to show her that you can be discreet and non-judgmental about what is going on between you. If you demonstrate a sense of discretion, it can make women much more comfortable with the idea of having sex with you.

And there’s another very positive aspect to this.

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Let her talk about you

By sleeping with a friend who is part of a strong social circle of other women, you gain the ability to work yourself into their discussions. If you give her really good sex, that will prompt her to talk about it to those friends. This will raise your desirability in the eyes of these other women, and potentially increase your chances of having sex with them at some point, too.

This works much more in your favor than being the sort of guy who brags or shows off the women he’s dating. For some reason, sexual compliments are very different when they come from a woman’s mouth, as opposed to a man’s. By being open about your relationship, and expecting your friend to talk about it to her friends, you are permitting your sexual prowess and reputation to precede you.

This puts you into the possibility of friends with benefits dating. Most guys love that idea, even if they don’t admit it to themselves….

But it’s not easy. You need to figure out a way to get her talking about the two of you, but yet demonstrate that you are discreet and non-judgmental, and that you’re comfortable with her and accepting of her. There are a few ways to do this without going and shouting your intimate secrets to the rooftops.

Sometimes, it can be a good thing to simply point it out in terms of how you perceive things. Talk about your worldview with her. There have been times when I have said to a woman: “I find it really upsetting that we live in such modern times, and yet women are still given a hard time about having sex.”

In many cases, I let her do all the talking at first. I don’t talk to other people about who I’m sleeping with, or who I’m dating, unless she’s already broken the news. That can put a lot of pressure on a woman, and that just isn’t fair. Sometimes, when dating a friend of a friend, it is better to keep quiet about it in the beginning out of respect, and let her decide when and to whom she wants to talk about it.

Show that you can relate to her reality, and that you understand her concerns and troubles. If you do this in a truly genuine and compassionate way, it will make her much more comfortable around you.

Understand, don’t game

Now this understanding and respect is exactly what I say it is. It’s not supposed to be some kind of dating tactic. You’re not setting out to prove something, but rather give an indication that you’re the sort of trustworthy and appreciative guy who sees her for the sexual creature that she is, and yet, also understands the societal pressures she’s under.

To demonstrate this point, here’s a brief example from my life.

I once added a girl on Facebook, just because she was a friend of a friend. We got to talking, and pretty soon, things moved in a sexual direction. One week later, I met her offline. Now, this was the first time in my life that I had been face-to-face with her. We caught up, chatted, and thirty minutes into our conversation, we ended up having sex at the movies.

I really didn’t know this girl at all – the only thing that we had in common was a mutual friend. To this day, that mutual friend doesn’t even know that we know each other.

Want to know what I said to that girl to get her to sleep with me less than thirty minutes after meeting offline?

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