Effective communication is the number one pillar in your ability to connect with the world and the people around you.
Most guys value communication when they look at approaching women. But, I want to challenge your reasoning in why you think that communication and conversational skills are important, because in all likelihood you are wrong. I want to enlighten you as to the real reason why good conversation skills are critical to having success with women.
What are your thoughts on this article? Do you agree or disagree? Please leave your comments in the box below, I would love to hear what you have to say.
What effective communication is not.
Most gurus’ focus on conversation skills because they feel that it allows their students to demonstrate higher value and essentially be able to brag to the girl about what a great catch they are. This is such backwards thinking. High value men don’t need to talk about high value they are. All they are really interested in is whether the woman is also high volume.
What is the importance of effective communication?
When you develop your conversation skills it allows the interaction to flow. The flow of the conversation is actually far more important than the specifics of what you are talking about. When you have good flow and interaction it allows you to physically and logistically escalate. These two components of pickup are the real keys to effective communication strategies in your approach to women.
The full benefit of effective verbal communication is that it gives you extra confidence. It allows you to go and approach women that you normally wouldn’t. I find the number one fear that holds most guys back from approaching the women that they really want is the fear of not knowing what to say.
As you develop your conversation skills this fear will become a thing of the past. In line with this I have found that when I developed my own personal conversation skills, it really allowed me to push the boundaries a little bit more. It allowed me to say things that I wouldn’t normally say and do things that I wouldn’t normally do because I knew that when I made a mistake somewhere along in the interaction that I could pull it back with my superior verbal execution.
I have three effective communication strategies that I believe will help you in your quest to communicate better in your daily interactions.
Strategy number one is to show interest in the people you are speaking with.
It sounds silly, I know. Most guys wouldn’t think that this would be the key to becoming a great conversationalist, but when you have a genuine fascination with the people that you meet, you naturally want to find out what makes them tick and what makes them work on a deep level. You’re better able to connect to their core values.
A scientific study was done on what people enjoyed talking about the most. Guys often assume that women like to talk about shoes, TV shows, celebrities and makeup. Sometimes this is true; however, there is one factor that stood far above all those topics. That factor was themselves. People love to talk about themselves more than anything else.
When you show a genuine interest in getting to know who they are you cater to that need. What is even more important is that you entice the person to continue in the interaction with you. The more that you can get them to verbally contribute to the conversation, the more that you can get them to share about their personal values, goals and dreams in life. You become invested in what makes them unique, and you are validating their life. And with that, my friends, the more attracted women are in you.
Strategy number two is being an interesting guy yourself.
A lot of guys would rate this as the number one factor. Interest creates interest. The more exciting that you can make your lifestyle, the more passionate you become about the things in your life, and you’ll notice the more people will enjoy speaking to you.
One key distinction that I think is critical to make is that being interesting isn’t about having a bunch of routines that subtly tell a woman how cool you are. Being interesting is about having interesting hobbies, having interesting friends, and about living exciting and unique life experiences.
Take the time right now to get a pen and paper and write down six things that you are passionate about in your life. Three of those things should be long time passions. These should be things that you have been interested in for over three to four years. The other three will be short term passions, or things that you have become interested in over the last two to three weeks. What this accomplishes is that if I asked you a question about one of those passions today, you would be better able to naturally and effortlessly flow off into a conversational statement about that topic.
As you start to live a more interesting life, your ability to have multiple passions and talk about things that excite you, the end result will be that the excitement you create in the woman you’re speaking with will multiply exponentially.
Strategy number three is to learn to strike a balance.
You want to strike the perfect balance of being interesting and interested. Essentially what this means is that there should be a balance of being able to ask her questions to find out what makes her unique and special and coincide them with your own experiences.
It’s almost like playing catch with someone. Playing catch on your own is no fun. Throwing a ball and then chasing after it can become tedious and boring in a heartbeat. The same thing happens with conversation. If you feel that you have to uphold the entire length of the conversation, you will exhaust yourself and become so drained and bored, regardless of how attractive the woman is.
What you basically want to be able to do is throw the ball to the woman and have her talk for a little about her passions, and then she in turn throws the ball back to you can then relate your own experiences. The conversation should be fluidly moving back and forth. You must also have the ability to be able to balance asking questions and making statements.
If you find yourself constantly asking questions the woman may feel like she is being put on the spot. Your objective is that after you have asked a question, you want to be able to relate your own experience to her answer. At the end of making a statement you can then potentially tie a question on the end if you would like.
Being successful in effectively communicating will ignite so many aspects of your game. It will increase your confidence with women to an all-time high. If you are really serious about having amazing results with the types of women that you ultimately desire, then you need to put effective communication skills at the top of your list of priorities.
Take action now and begin to learn how to communicate extremely well with women…If you want to know what to say to the hottest girls, you’ve come to the right place. Watch my FREE video to learn the little known secrets behind what to say to girls you want to hook up with. Don’t wait though, this content won’t be up for long…