We’ve received another email question from one of our readers, this one concerning a specific type of body language: eye contact. Eye contact can be a very useful tool for flirting with women, so that’s exactly what we’re going to talk about in this article. Here’s the question:
Eye contact is one of the most powerful expressions of interest you can give without even being near to a person. Women use it all the time to show they're open to an approach, so be on the lookout!
Dear Vin,
I keep coming across the same situation over and over again. There’s a woman in the room, she’s at a distance, and I’m trying to engage her in an interaction by showing her a bit of interest from across the room.
I’m wondering, in situations like these, how do you use your eye contact to flirt? How can I use eye contact to create a bit of a spark, so that going over to her won’t seem like such a big deal?
Adam, – Nebraska
If you want to create this spark you’re talking about and learn how to be a master flirt, you’re going to have to use the full spectrum of all your body language – not just eye contact. For that, it’s important to remember the following key points:
Tip #1 – Confident body language
Body language can portray a whole lot about a person, and we as humans are highly adept at detecting and decoding body language, even if we mostly do it on a subconscious level. If someone has droopy shoulders, is constantly frowning, and seems fidgety – women automatically think less of them.
The way you stand out is by portraying confidence, even if at first you need to act a little to pull it off. That means you stand tall and pay attention to your posture. Make sure you smile a lot, even if there’s no apparent reason for it – since a happy guy is an attractive guy. If you do this long enough, then sooner rather than later you’re actually going to become at ease with yourself, and then… well – then your body language will begin to reflect a natural and effortless confidence.
Tip #2 – Body orientation
A tell-tale sign of female interest is when her body and feet are facing in your direction, even if she’s looking away from you.
On the other hand, as a guy, you don’t want to be facing her with your body. If you do, you’re going to be giving her too much attention, and this will actually backfire and have the negative effect of being a turn off. You want your body not facing her – but rather facing someone who you’re having a conversation with.
Now, once you’ve implemented the above two body language tips, we can move on to the eye contact.
Tip #3 – The Eye Contact
Every once in a while, as you look over in her direction, try to find her eyes and pick one eye, whether it’s the left or the right, and hold onto that eye contact. Just keep holding onto that eye. Do not break off no matter what she does. Keep holding that eye contact for as long as possible until she breaks it off. Once she breaks it off – then you stop looking too.
(If you keep looking you’ll just come off as a freak.)
Now what this does is it demonstrates that:
- You’re a confident person.
- You’re interested in her.
- You’re an alpha male because you’re not breaking off eye contact, you’re maintaining it.
It’s important not to make that mistake of becoming too persistent and too needy by giving her too much attention. That’s why you want to just keep it light, keep it fun, and not be too serious about the whole thing.
What you’ll find if you consistently apply these three flirting tips, is that she’ll actually be laughing and smiling, and she may even signal you to come across and go and talk to her. She will actually open you up and you won’t have even needed to open your mouth.
Just remember to pay attention to your body language. You will be surprised by how powerful these three things in conjunction can do when meeting an attractive woman.
If you want more in-depth tips on how to make body language work for you, then I suggest you check out the Attraction Code, which also covers the other basics of dating that many guys aren’t very knowledgeable about.
http://vindicarlo.com/attraction-code
