So sometimes eye contact can be REALLY obvious. However, most women are a lot more subtle with their body language. But don't worry - you'll start noticing it too!

No more doubts! We're going to spell out all there is to know about eye contact for you once and for all.

It might be difficult to believe, but one of the most obvious signs of attractions a girl will give you is based around her eye contact. One of the easiest ways to find out if a girl likes you is to look at the way she looks at you.

It sounds so simple, and in fact it really is, but most of us, including me sometimes, can be hopelessly blind to this. The next time you're with a girl, ask yourself these questions:

• When you’re talking to her, is she looking in your eyes?
• Are her eyes distracted, or does she maintain eye contact?
• When you’re finished talking and there are no words going on between you, is she still holding her eye contact with you?

If its daylight and you guys are close to each other and you can see her eyes, try to pay attention to how many times she blinks. Women that are interested in guys and interested in anyone in general will blink more, and women do this completely unconsciously. They’re not even aware of it.

Are her pupils dilated? If a woman is interested, her pupils will dilate because she’s quite literally trying to see more of you.

It’s actually quite simple to pay attention to these things, and it’s quite simple to acknowledge them by simply being more aware. If you want to be able to pick up on these things more, and really notice the body language signs that women throw out there, then you need to become better at using body language yourself!

This isn't just about attraction and eye contact though - it's about flirting and escalating too. But using your eyes is an excellent starting point!

So how can you improve your body language?

Easy! Your best friend is your mirror. Try both looking and talking to yourself in the mirror. You can say anything you want. Tell a story to yourself but maintain eye contact while you're doing it. See what it looks like to stare with your eyes, to dance with your eyes, to look around, to be distracted.

Second bit of advice: Don’t be the person who's always looking down - because this appears like you’re not confident in your own skin, and that you're not comfortable with yourself. Try looking up, and never let your eyes fall below the waist. (The best thing is that even if you're not too confident about yourself, by maintaining better eye contact, you're actually improving your self-confidence!)

Third, once you’re walking through the city, or wherever it may be where there are people, try to lock eyes onto the next person that you see who is walking towards your direction, and keep holding that eye contact. This will help you improve your self-confidence tremendously.

They say a picture says a thousand words - and it’s very true, especially when it comes to eye contact. So, get practicing!

But eye contact is not the only sign of interest you can get from women. If you're wondering how to understand and utilize other types of body language to attract women, then we have just the eBook for you. The Attraction Code covers everything from eye contact and using touch as body language, to getting out of the Friend Zone and getting more dates.

http://vindicarlo.com/attraction-code

The way she smiles at me is all the motication I need.

How does a guy get motivated, amp himself up, and stay confident in the face of rejection or confusion?

Motivation has two components: The first component is vision and the second component is action. I think when guys have a really compelling vision of who they want to be, where they are headed and what they want to achieve with their lives; and if that vision is compelling enough motivation is not going to be an issue. They are going to be drawn towards wanting to be that person and achieve those goals.

I find that a lot of guy who come to me for coaching just don’t think big enough. That is the first thing that I try to change. I try to get right down to who they are at the core level, how they value their own contribution to the world and what they see as their sense of entitlement.

One exercise that can be really great for a guy to try is to think about what they would do if they had all the resources available here at Vin DeCarlo and they fully committed to a training program that involves going out three or four times a week and actively working on becoming a more attractive guy over a three month period. I ask my students to imagine what would the 10 out of 10 version of success looks like?

Once they get a strong sense of that image they are seeking I say to them, “Let’s move that 10 out 10 version of you and let’s make it a 7 out of 10 version. What I mean by that is that the student’s idea of the 10 out of ten is now the 7 out of 10 version. Then they can reach higher till the 10 out of 10 is even better than they originally thought it would be. I then continue to go through this process. I call it “pumping the guy’s vision.”

Eventually, the student has gotten to the point he cannot go any further; he has made it to that 10 out of 10. That is when you know that he is at the right level. When guys have a vision like that they are compelled to want to take action. They are compelled to push through little bits of resistance. That is the first step.

Once you pump your vision with this exercise that you can do every morning as part of a morning ritual you need to take immediate action towards that vision. That might be getting up and doing a set of pushups, going out for a workout at the gym or heading outside and approaching the first girl that they see.

Those two things combined: 1) forcing yourself to take action and 2) pumping your vision is going to work for motivation. What I find to be even more motivating or what keeps guys moving forward are little successes along the way. I think what happens is a guy tends to think that one step is not enough, so he takes it to another level.

They get a girl’s number but they didn’t take her home. They see that as a failure.  A guy should have a habit of celebrating a win no matter how small the win may be. Every win is a step in the right direction. Celebrate every little win in whatever way suits you, that whether it be internally or externally. That will really assist in sustaining high levels of motivation.

She hypnotizes you and you fall in love!

What is love to the guys you are working with who are interested in doing better at dating and they have this question about love. What do you talk about in defining the characteristics of love?

Love is a really interesting topic and concept that means different things to different people.  Some people see it as a form of self-sacrifice for another person, while others just see it as an overwhelming feeling of joy and human connection. 

I tend to look at love being something that compels you to want to take action. When guys try to focus on putting a definition on love they probably miss the point of it.  Love is not about being defined; it’s all about being experienced.

I was going through a phase of really working on improving my dating life.  I really didn’t believe in love. I saw it as a cheap emotion. I saw other people talking about it, but I felt like they were kidding themselves.  Essentially I saw it as a form of self-hypnosis. This seems to happen because we tend to think about someone else and through that process the more we think about them the more we start to wonder what they are up to and the deeper we fall for that person. 

I was fortunate enough to be caught by surprise by a particular girl even though I didn’t believe that love existed. I still I fell for her pretty hardcore. I still think that love is a form of self-hypnosis, but I also think it is a beautiful thing and that it is something that should be cherished.  That’s how I look at it.

What are some of the tale-tale signs that make you realize, “Wow, this actually might be love?!”

Usually, the first dead give-away is that you want to spend all of your spare time with that person.  You start to think about them when you are not with them.  You start to wonder what they are doing.  You find yourself constantly going out of your way to put yourself in situations where you are around them. 

Another way to tell if you are falling in love is if you are passing up other social with friends or even to meet with other girls. You find reasons to actually spend time with that girl who practically stole your heart and mind. Just hanging out with your friends just isn’t what you want anymore.

 Usually when you are starting to fall in love, everything around you reminds you of her. It can be something romantic like her favorite color, song or flower or something goofy like the sound of her voice on the phone or her laugh. When you look around you realize she is not there, but you want her to be there. Everything old is now new again. That feeling of being hypnotized feels almost like a drug and you want more of her to fill that need. When it feels like that, then it must be love.

I see a lot of guys being quite successful with women, but their success depends largely on the environment they're in, and the girl they're interacting with. This is what we could call 'situational' success.

That's not what you want though, right? The 'situational' model above is more based on luck than anything else. If you're wondering how to be successful with women under any circumstances, then follow the steps below:

Don't just read the stuff below - ACTUALLY IMPLEMENT IT! Because if you do, you're going to end up with some very sexy women...

Step 1: Abandon any notion of a magic bullet

There's really no one secret to success with women. There's no magic bullet or trick that a guy can pull, that no one else is aware of. The pathway has already been laid out, and all that remains is for you to follow good advice and implement it into your daily life.

Step 2: Motivation and effort

Step number two is building motivation, so that a guy can change their mindset and way of thinking to one that focuses around potential.

You need to be motivated by the positive potential that exists within you, to create a lifestyle that fully supports your goals with women. A big part of that is actually putting the time into developing yourself and creating your own success.

Of the clients that I've worked with as a dating coach, the ones that have become the most successful pickup artists are simply those who have worked the hardest.

It wasn't the guys who looked the most attractive, or who had the best sense of humor, or the most impressive social skills. No - it was those who were motivated and put in the most effort. And effort is something EVERY human being is capable of, and that's why I say there are no secrets.

Step 3: Dating is a field job!

What do I mean by that? If dating were a job, it would be a field job, not an office job. You don't get better at dating by sitting in front of your computer and reading dating advice. I'm not saying that's not helpful - it certainly is. But the important part is to actually go out there and use that advice. Far too many guys think that just because they've read about some pickup technique that now they know what they're doing. How do you know it'll even work unless you've tried it out?

The field has the answers. It's not in the forums, or in the chat rooms. The best way to find the answers that you seek is to experience them for yourself.

Go out, practice your skills, and be open to the possibility of rejection. If something works - great, add it to your list. If it doesn't work - discard it. This is really the only way to establish lasting success with women.

Step 4: Focus on holistic development

In order to become better with women, you actually need to become better at life in general! Who do you think women find more attractive: successful, handsome guys who work out and lead exciting lives - or someone who sits around in their house all day, doesn't have any fun stories to tell, etc. How many interesting stories could you tell a woman about what you did in the last week? If your answer is, "Not many", then you need to get to work on your life.

In life, there are three primary areas that we like to put our attention to: relationships and dating, health and fitness, and wealth and finances.

The idea behind holistic development is to make sure you're not just focusing on one particular area, such as picking up women, but that you're leading a balanced life.

It might seem a little counter-intuitive at first, but it's true: if you focus on improving other areas of your life besides dating, you will have both a better and more exciting life, and more success with women!

I would even go so far as to say that if one guy were to focus 100% of his energy on just women, and another guy were to focus 33% of his energy on women, 33% of his energy on health, and 33% on his finances and wealth, then over a period of time the second guy would be significantly more successful with women.

The first guy might have a bit more success in the first month or two, but as time goes on, the ability for the second guy to compound his improvement and become happier in his life will actually assist him with his goals more than the first guy.

Step 5: Surround yourself with successful people

You know, if I were to look at the top five people in your life: the five people you spend the most time with, and average out their wages, then that would give me a really clear indication of what your likely earnings would be. The same principle is true with all other areas of life.

So if I was to take the five guys that you spend the most time with, and I averaged out the success they have with women, that would usually give me a clear indication of where you were at with your success with women. Shy guys just tend to hang around other shy guys, but if you want success with women, you have to realize that your default social group may very well be perpetuating your weaknesses by making them seem acceptable!

So if you can surround yourself with positive people who support you and who know how to find success with women, you're going to experience a massive advantage.

If you want more mind-blowing tips condensed in an easy to read scientific approach to dating and picking up women, check out Pandora's Box.

http://vindicarlo.com/pandoras-box-2

If you want to learn how to approach a girl on Facebook, then I’ve got some really good news for you. Facebook is one way for you to have hundreds of women chasing you with very little effort on your part.

Make her sigh with some cyber flirting.

I’m going to give you a little bit of outside the box advice for meeting girls on Facebook. My number 1 tip to knowing how to approach a girl on Facebook is simple. Develop a powerful personal branding system. You would be amazed how easy it is to create a social media branded identity for yourself. This is when the rate of interested women will really start flowing for you.

There was a time when I didn't need to know how to approach a girl on Facebook because they were constantly approaching me. One girl loved my profile so much that she sent me naked photos and asked to have sex with me. She approached me just because of my personal branding. This will also work for Twitter and YouTube. By improving your online identity, which is the one you will send out to the world, you will be able to improve the way you approach a girl on Facebook.

You may think that you don’t have anything to offer, but nearly everyone today has a blog.  Everybody is building an online identity with an image that serves as a type of branding, much like what businesses use.  What makes Coca Cola such a strong brand? Well, understanding the answer to that question is the key to knowing how to easily approach a girl on Facebook and to meet girls online in any form. If you use a little bit of personal branding with a solid identity and cool image, it will make everything  much easier. It will make you seem confident, popular and experienced.

By building a personal brand, it will give women a very good idea of how great you are before you even speak to them. It makes approaching a girl on Facebook so much easier because your image will precede you. More importantly, it builds credibility and trust, which are two things that girls take very seriously. Personal branding also builds a certain amount of safety.

I recommend that you buy one of the social media kits in a box and make over your websites. If you don’t have a personal website, then start one immediately. You’ll learn how to approach a girl on Facebook in no time at all.

As you build your identity, thing about the things you are interested in. Expand it a little bit, and really sell yourself so that you online image is very positive.

Your ultimate goal is to make a real connection

I find that when guys try too hard to act like a player, then what generally happens is that the girl is able to sense that he’s overcompensating for something. Girls know when a guy is sincere and honest, and can spot a fake a mile away. Guys need to improve their self-confidence  in order to improve their dating skills. 

When I went through my development there was a point in my game where girls would call me out for being a player and so when I think in terms of my development, it was probably a good sign that I was called out. When I first started working on my skills with girls, the last thing that I wanted them to think is that I was a player.

So it’s not a completely negative thing if a girl calls you out on being a player. It’s usually an indication that your coming off a little too gamey, that you’re lacking that genuineness in your interactions. For me it’s like a bridge that shows a sign that someone’s improved, but it also is an indication that there’s a lot of development left to go. There are a couple of things to change in your mindset, if you find you are being called out for being a player.

The first is just being more genuine with your interactions.

Don’t feel like you need to try and impress girls. Instead, go out of your way to find what’s impressive about the girls you want to meet. If you play more to her than into yourself, you will go further with impressing her, and possibly winning her approval and getting a date. Girls aren't into guys who aren't genuine in their thoughts and actions.

The second thing that you may want to play around with is to call her out on being a player first.

This will make the interaction more playful and relaxed. If you can make a woman smile early in the game you two are playing, you have a better chance of getting to know her. A smile is a good indication that a girl likes you, and your company. Laughter is good medicine, and is a great thing to have on dates. If she smiles, then she will be more open to talking and giving both of you the chance to learn about each other.

The final part of the topic is changing a girl’s mindset.

When we deal with changing a girl’s mindset, it’s important that we focus on changing their emotions rather than changing their minds. If we can actually change a girl’s emotions, her mind will follow. If you’re able to get a girl to change her emotion and then her mind follows, maybe you’ll feel a little bit more like a player.

You should be doing it from the point of building an authentic connection. The more real you are to the girl when you are playing the player’ game the better chance you have of making a real connection with her. Change your mindset to make this your number one priority and then let the games begin, because they will actually be more enjoyable for the both of you. 

start working together towards supporting each other

Start brainstorming new dating ideas to enjoy together.

A great exercise to do when you're dating a girl is to brainstorm new activities to enjoy together. Sit down with a pen and paper and spend three minutes just throwing dating ideas around that you've always thought of doing. These particular ideas are activities that you've never thought of that can then be used as an opportunity for the two of you to explore each others passions and goals together.

These ideas don't have to be expensive, they can be cheap dating ideas that can be incredibly fun. Maybe your a big fan of rock climbing and camping out in a national forest, and your girl has never experienced anything like that before. It can be a great opportunity for the two of you to come together and try something new. And it doesn't cost a thing, except the time and energy involved in planning and experiencing.

Likewise, there will be many activities that your girlfriend has thought of doing that maybe you've never really considered doing. Ballet dancing perhaps, or maybe pole dancing might be something you'd both enjoy. Brainstorm fun date ideas that you've always wanted to do but have never had the time to do. The advantage to this is you can actually start working together towards supporting each other in achieving these goals. 

There are things to consider when encouraging your girl to try something new.

One thing that is important when you two begin to brainstorm together is to make it clear that it is a safe for her to throw at any idea she has without fear you will think she is off her rocker. Don't judge her in the process, because the minute that you start judging those activities, your brains are going to close down and you're going to only think of logical solutions. The problem with this is that you lose any creative dating ideas that might come to mind.

Creativity adds to new adventures and different experiences, and you both should be open to trying things that you had not thought of before. If she is into something you think of as too feminine or too girly, open your mind to the possibilities. That way you are showing her you are willing to meet her half way. This will help open her up to trying things that she may have thought as too masculine or boyish.

When you two are able to be open to ideas that you thought of as too weird, that is when you are really sharing. If there are date activities that she is reluctant to do, this can be a great way for shaping her to be a little bit more adventurous and open to new experiences. In a relationship and certainly in progressing sexually and trying different sexual experiences, that can be a really positive quality and trait to be shaping in your girl's life.

Consider this brainstorming as a way to see if she is willing to try new things out of the bed, so that when you are in bed you will know if she might be willing to try new things. We are often the same out in public as we are in bed. If she is a prude or not adventurous, that could be your clue to how she is in bed. On the other hand, if she is willing to try something big and dangerous like rock climbing, then chances are pretty good that she will be willing to be adventurous in bed. Brainstorming is a great way to discover exciting experiences you can share together, both in and out of bed.

Open up a new avenue with a new approach.

I read a comment today from a guy who said it’s much easier to meet women in nightclubs because people go to nightclubs expecting to socialize. He said it is so much harder to talk to women during the day or in the street because they seem to be busy. He felt that he would be interrupting something or that they would want him to go away. Guys can't approach women in the street because they feel that their presence will be unwelcome. They fear causing some sort of disruption.

This is when I realized that guys are thinking about themselves in the wrong way. For example, imagine three girls eating in a café. If you approached to talk to the girls, telling each of them that they have won the million dollar lottery, would you think you were disturbing them? Would you think that you’re bothering them? No, because you are bringing good news and value into their lives.

If you know how to approach women in the street, then you know your own value and that you will be a positive addition to their lives. It all has to do with your self-image and how you see yourself. Basically, learning to approach women in the street is mainly about being socially warmed up. In mindfulness it’s called emptying your mind. In social terms it’s about feeling really comfortable chatting to people because you have been making small talk all day.

In coaching and giving dating tips, I have found that a guy can quickly approach women in the street if he has chatted to five to ten people conversationally before walking over to chat to that attractive woman. It is a simple as that. To approach women in the street, you need to be socially warmed up. You can study as much theory as you like, but the way to approach women in the street is really to talk to new people daily so that talking to a woman is not a big deal at all.

Basically, it's like starting your car and letting it warm up before you drive it off. How you approach women works off of the same principle. Like the car, if your engine is cold, it sputters and doesn't work as well without warming up first. If you plan on going out for the night, then it's always better to be warmed up before you get there.

Talk to people in the workplace, on the streets, and in the diner during lunch. That way you are warmed up before you go out later, and your engine is revved and ready to go. If you have trouble approaching women because you are shy or unsocial, then I recommend that you change the way you think. You need to focus on the benefits of being an outgoing person.

Not only will you get more dating opportunities, but you will also make more friends, have more connections in your life,  and build a powerful support network. You can become happier and more confident all from the simple habit of talking to 5 to 10 people every day. When you become accustomed to approaching people during the course of your day, then approaching women becomes natural, and you become a natural as well.

you will benefit greatly in bed by appreciating her in the bedroom

Ultimately, the biggest gift that you can give in the bedroom is appreciation: appreciation of the woman that you are lying next to. In a sense, you want to have appreciation on two levels. You want to appreciate them as a person, but you also want to appreciate her as a female. You want to appreciate her female form.

You want to appreciate your woman and her physical nature. You want to appreciate what she does for you as a man. You want to appreciate the feelings that she stirs inside you and the physical reactions that naturally arise when a girl starts to turn you on.

There are many gifts to show your appreciation. Here is a beautiful, warm, sensuous woman right next to you – it is a very special treat to have on hand, so the most important gift of all is the gift of gratitude. You can give the gift of gratitude to yourself for being in such a situation, for having created the circumstances for this situation to have arisen.

But you must also be grateful for this woman’s existence, and let her know how grateful you are that she exists and is spending this time with you. Women love to hear this talk, it is very sexy to them. Making her aware of what’s she’s doing for you is probably the greatest gift we can give to a woman in general.

By doing this, we get her to acknowledge to herself that she is a sexual creature. I think often in modern society, women are sometimes shunned for expressing themselves on a sexual level. They’re sometimes ridiculed and made out to be sluts or made out to be promiscuous.

A guy needs to let his woman know that he not only is comfortable with the fact that she’s a sexual creature, but that it turns him on. It makes him not able to think straight, which helps her delve inside that side of herself, and makes her giddy with delight. 

One of the things that I love doing with women is to become aroused, grab her hand, put it on my hard cock and say, “Look at what you’re doing to me. I’m so excited by being here with you. Look at what’s happening”. By doing that, it’s like a flip switches inside her head. There’s something about an erect penis that just drives women crazy.

When a guy lets his woman know that he’s horny, it validates her and makes her feel attractive and sexual. This will not only increase her sexual state, but when a guy lets his woman know that he’s horny because of her and because he’s thinking about her, she’s going to get to that point almost instantly. It’s going to be like an explosion goes on inside her body.

Words to show appreciation go a long way in any relationship, and acts of appreciation help further it along as well. Whether it's in or out of the bedroom is important. If you start with acts of kindness, compassion, sincerity, and genuineness out of the bedroom, what happens in the bedroom will blow your mind. Appreciate her in the bedroom, but out of it as well.

Don't let anxiety keep you from a good conversation.

Get a handle on anxiety before it ruins your life.

Anxiety symptoms are easier to fix if you can learn how to recognize them, thus preventing a full-blown panic attack. I’d say that tackling anxiety, especially if it’s something that manifest in your life in varies ways, is quite a challenge. This is one thing you must recognize and handle before you can even worry about trying to work on social skills or at getting better with women.

It's important to recognize signs of anxiety, so that you can see it coming and stop it before it gets started. Some of the symptoms of anxiety disorders are things like shortness of breath, painful levels of shyness, a sense of nausea, stomach cramps, frequent blushing, chest pains, and dizziness.

These are just some of the symptoms, with many more symptoms being attributed to a wide spectrum of anxiety disorders, so if any of these really bring alarm to you then it might be a good idea to just go to Google and do a little bit of research on anxiety causes, and to check the symptoms to see whether this may be something you need to work on.

One of the distinct things that stands out with the increase of anxiety that most people feel is that we tend to manage our time poorly and be overwhelmed with the amount of tasks or the amount of things that we’re trying to do. In the day we live in, where everything is lived in a rush, would increase anxiety in anyone's life.

Look into improving your time management and reading some books on the subject as a great way to work on this skill and to better use your time. If you can't learn to manage your time, then how are you going to find time to date in the first place. If you don't learn to overcome anxiety, you won't have to worry about dating, because you'll be to afraid to venture out of your comfort zone.

The whole point of managing anxiety disorders is to make it more comfortable to be around women, and people in general. If you can't get a handle on what causes anxiety, and learn to deal with them effectively, then your social life will be severely stunted. As long as you let this aspect in your life lead you, you won't have any type of life worth living.

It would be invaluable for you to look into Mindfulness Techniques and to learn how to control your breathing. A lot of the time we tend to breathe in a very shallow fashion or hold back on our breath, and we’re not really using the depth of our lungs correctly.

Start to retrain your breathing to be fuller and richer, and getting more oxygen to your brain and your body, which is useful in alleviating a lot of that stress that that builds up inside. Controlling your breathing helps you control your thoughts, and controlling your thoughts helps to alleviate anxiety.

There are also natural remedies for anxiety that you can learn about, and research what may be beneficial to you. Getting a handle on anxiety, learning to recognize and fix it before it gets started, will improve your life exponentially. In fact, you will start having a life, because a life isn't worth having if you don't have one to live in the first place.