honesty will get you farther than you ever thought possible…
If it's your first time, be honest with her
Hey Vin, do you have any first time advice for guys in the sexual realm?
Let’s say, you’re new to dating and new to being intimate with a woman. Yet, you want to be close and comfortable without making yourself out to be a fool.
To start, you have to put yourself out there. You are going to be feeling fear and feeling a bit nervous, so tell her. I think honesty and being very earnest with her is very compelling and attractive to women. A lot of women will appreciate your inexperience, some will even find it’s can be one of womens turn ons to know they are your first.
She might feel flattered that you feel this way about her and this is your first time.
Just let her know these things. Don’t be afraid to let her know it’s your first time. You don’t have to say it is your first time. You can just say you are pretty new to this if you are afraid she will react adversely to it being your first time. Everybody was inexperienced at one time or another and it’s nothing to be ashamed of.
That is a lot of pressure for a girl as well to feel like she needs to take a leading role.
If you just tell her that you are new at this and you are nervous that will diffuse a lot of that pressure, fear, or anxiety building up. Your honesty and being upfront with her about your being new to all of it will help her not feel so overwhelmed by taking charge of the situation. I always tell guys if you are feeling nervous or anxious, just by you feeling that it is going to make her feel the same anxiety and pressure. Girls are very receptive to something like that.
There is no point in hiding the fact that this is your first time having sex.
She is going to feel it, which will come off as awkward and weird. I suppose you should be really honest and earnest with her. Whatever she feels or thinks is never as bad as a guy thinks it is going to be. There is no reason for you to get over zealous, anxious, or too eager. Just relax, stay calm and enjoy yourself. Just keep in mind that first times, aren’t always bad times.
You’ve seen the guys in the movies that finish in their pants, before anything actually happens. It might be flattering, but it might also be disappointing for a girl. For guys, they always say think about the weather or mathematics in your head. I would say the opposite is true to gain control of yourself and your arousal. This is where you don’t want to look like the fool you were afraid of becoming.
Be aware of your arousal rates and be aware of what is happening with your body.
One way to spread this energy out would be some deep breathing from the stomach. You can sit there breathing deeply and that is going to have the effect of you becoming calmer. You don’t want to be breathing at an audible level. You want to keep it quiet, and controlled. It will have a calming effect on her as well. If you seem relaxed, so will she and it won’t be a time of pressure and confusion.
For you first time having sex, these tips will get you started… but most important don’t freak out. Everyone has their first time at some point.
Help! I can’t even get her to talk to me, much less sleep with me…
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