How can a guy go about combining friendship and dating in a way that makes sense?
Let’s give you five steps towards success with friends and dating:
1. Recognize that this is a situation where it’s not an either/or.
There are so many guys that get into head spaces where they think that something has to be either/or. This is certainly an “and/and” situation. It doesn’t need to be black and white. You can build a friendship with someone and also have some sort of a sexual interaction with them. If guys recognize that it’s possible, that is the first step. Usually the world will open up to them after that.
2. Focus on becoming a touchy guy.
The Dicarlo Escalation Ladder, which we talked about in a lot of these articles, if guys haven’t read about it yet, I suggest that, as soon as they finish with this page, they go and Google it or search on this particular site.
It’s a free e-book that takes guys from the first step of meeting a girl, which is eye contact, all the way through to having sex — just through using your touch. It allows guys to connect with a woman on a subconscious level, and to move beneath words. What you can do is keep your conversation fairly friendly on the surface level, but underneath be building a little bit of sexual tension.
3. Focus on being more flirty.
You might be able to drop a few sexual innuendos in, or frame the situation as a girl trying to impress you or working for your attention. But, if you can just start to be a little more playful with your conversation with her — you don’t have to be sexual at this stage, just playful — that will give her an indication that you might be interested in dating her.
4. Find ways where you can be isolated with the girl.
One of the challenges that guys in social circles find is, if they hook up with a girl or she hooks up with him, then she starts to be concerned about what her friends will think about her. You want to get to a point where you can escalate on her and move things in a sexual direction, where friends potentially don’t know about it at first.
As you start to have a little bit more sex together and set up a friends with benefits scenario, it will become quite obvious to all involved what’s going on. You will find that they won’t care in the slightest, but in those initial stages it can help.
5. Start having more sex… in general.
The fifth step is particularly helpful if the guy has been friends with her for an extended period: start having more sexual experiences not involving her. Utilize jealousy in a positive way. When she starts to see other girls responding to you in a positive way, it might get her to think that maybe she’s missed something, here. She’ll start to let you know and some signals will appear.
And What if You’re Stuck in the Friend Zone?
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What do you think about combining friendship with dating? Has it worked for you?