Finding fertile ground to cast your seeds is easier than you think…
I’m finding myself stuck when it comes to getting a date.
I’ve been going to nightclubs a lot. I’m getting better at approaching girls and getting them to like me, but I can never close the deal.
What dating advice do you have for me?
The first step is to plant the seed of possibility that she will have fun and exciting dates with you. Talk about your lifestyle, the fun you have, and the exciting things you do. Talk about the activities you like, upcoming events, or future parties that you’ll be attending. Get use to putting this information out there. Use this information as bait to see how she responds. If she gets excited about your activities, then this can be a good starting point for getting a girl interested in the possibility of spending more time with you.
How do I use this information to get a date?
After you have mentioned your activities, gauge her response. Does she respond positively by saying something like, “Oh, WOW, that sounds awesome.” If she does, then you have a window of opportunity to ask her. You just need to be able to cash in on it.
It’s very rare that a woman will invite herself to one of your activities, but she will give you clues that she’s interested in you. When she says, “Oh, wow that sounds really fun,” you need to be ready to say, “I think you would really love it. Why don’t I get your number and I’ll give you a call during the week to organize something together.”
This approach for getting dates works, but it also has some dangers.
What are the dangers? What are the best ways to avoid or prevent them?
The big danger is that you have set up a murky date. A murky date is one without a clear intention. In your mind, it’s perfectly obvious. She is an attractive girl. You’ve gone out of your way to approach her. It’s clear to you that you’re interested in taking this in a sexual direction. However, you don’t want to leave any doubt in the girl’s mind. You don’t want her wondering, if this is a date to get to know each other as friends or as something more intimate.
You don’t want her wondering, if you’re interested in her… you want her to be sure.
Through this process, you want to make sure that you’re leaving SIOs, which are Statements Of Interest. SIOs can happen as early as your opener. If you don’t establish SIOs early on, you can do it later in the conversation. After you have created a potential date, then you should definitely move towards expressing yourself on a sexual level.
For example, you can say, “You’re a really cool chic, even if you weren’t sexy as hell, I think I would still want to spend time with you.” This lets her know that you are interested in her in a way that is beyond just being friends. The better you communicate the purpose of a potential date, the more receptive she will be when you actually go out on a date and when the sexual tension starts to escalate.