Heartbreaking as you feel about your ex-boyfriend… you’ve got to move on, but how?
How many of us girls have had to get over an ex-boyfriend at some point in our lives?
Many of us, including me, have had to do it time and time again. After each time, it doesn’t seem to get any easier either. I have discovered through years of whining and crying that there are 13 steps which will help you get over your ex-boyfriend. You don’t even need to eat cartons of ice cream and mope around the house for weeks.
If you go through these steps and follow them, you will find yourself getting over your ex-boyfriend faster than ever.
Do you have questions about getting over your ex-boyfriend? Ask in the comments and I’ll answer each one personally.
1. Be Yourself:
Be who you are, and stop being who you want to be. I am not sure why this concept is so hard to grasp, but for many of us, it is. You never want to try to be someone else, because being yourself is the easiest and most fulfilling thing to be. You will never get over an ex-boyfriend, if you are trying to be someone you aren’t. It requires too much effort and thinking on your part. Stop trying to please other people and please yourself for a change. Take ownership of who you are.
Be proud of who you are and hold your head high.
2. Accept Yourself:
In order to be yourself and like the person you are, you must accept the way you look. Exercising and self-improvement techniques are fine, becoming more attractive is fine as long as you think you are fine to begin with. The sad thing we can’t change is genetics. Having inner conflicts over things that you cannot change (like genetics) will only make you miserable. Fix the things you can and leave the other things alone. You must love yourself. You can know how to be beautiful on the outside, but hate yourself on the inside. You should be beautiful just by being you. Don’t beat yourself up for not being like all the other women.
After all, who wants to be like everyone else anyway?
3. Improve Your Life:
If you are bored with any element of your life, change it. Try new experiences, new friends, or learn new things. If you have wanted to try a new line of makeup, now is the time to do it. If you have wanted to join a bowling league, then get off your behind and get out there and join a league. The more interesting your life is, the easier it will be to think in a more positive way. Don’t dwell on an ex-boyfriend, move on around him and dwell on something positive. When you are positive and it shows, you are more likely to enjoy your surroundings and life. And, friends will notice it and enjoy you as well.
4. Enjoy Being Single:
Being single can actually be fun.
You have no rules, no one to answer to, and the freedom to do so can be wild and exhilarating. Have fun in your life. Let yourself go loose a bit. Even if you are heartbroken, try and find ways to enjoy your current situation. You have no one to account to but yourself. Take advantage of that, and after a while, you might even like the freedom that being single affords. Look at the positive in anything you do. Negativity will only make any situation worse.
5. Indulge Yourself:
Use this opportunity to go to a day spa and get your nails done, or a facial, especially enjoy a massage. I can imagine that right now in my head, how awesome would that feel right about now? Go away for a vacation. Go to the one place you have always thought about visiting. Try a cruise, there are lots of cruises for singles, or even cruises for women only, who just want to get away and develop friendships and do “women” things. Anything is possible, just think about it and do it. Move forward in your life, and do something fun and rewarding in the process.
6. Start A New Hobby:
Find something interesting to do, instead of sitting on the couch watching soaps all day. Take up a hobby or renew an old one. Start a new passion, something that motivates you and you enjoy doing. Make time for happiness in your life, not sadness. Get over your ex by loving life and making it more interesting. What I do is read a lot of books. Reading has always been a passion of mine, and without a boyfriend around who consumes my every waking moment, I buy books of my favorite authors and read. I love that kind of alone time. Alone time is great, when you are doing something you enjoy.
7. Learn From Past Mistakes:
Now is the time to make a list of what you felt went wrong in previous relationships. Make a commitment to never do anything negative in your life again. Let the breakup serves as a learning tool, and find ways to improve areas in your life that are less than what you want. Something I heard and never forgot was “You take YOU wherever you go.” Remember that…
8. Forgive Yourself:
Forgiveness starts now. It is time to forgive yourself. Let go of any negative thoughts or feelings that you are holding on to. All that serves is keep you down and preventing you from moving forward. We all make mistakes, we all have done some rotten things in our lives, acted in ways that were unbecoming to who we really are. Forgive yourself and let it go. Learn from it, and determine never to undermine another relationship again.
9. Get Support:
Spend time with your family and friends. Being around people who love you will always make you feel better. Having people to speak with is important. Interaction is a necessary part of all our lives. Talking about how you feel may be just what the doctor ordered, and as women, we all know that having someone to vent to is important. Many times the act of ranting and raving brings a release, and immediately we feel better.
10. Improve Your Self-Love:
Write down 5 things that you like about yourself and why.
Do this every day for a week (or longer). Increase your own self-love. Remind yourself every day why you are likeable. If you are really down in the dumps, or don’t have much self-esteem anyway, find a good friend and ask her what the qualities are that she likes about you, and write that down. Look at it every day and start believing it. Having self-love is not vanity, it is a simply understanding that you have value, and we all deserve a place in society and have something great to give back.
11. Graciously Accept Compliments:
I don’t know why, but accepting compliments is a hard thing for women to swallow. When you get compliments, appreciate them. Don’t deny them or try to over-analyze the meaning behind them. Graciously accept them and take them for what they are. And most importantly, believe them!
12. Maintain A Friendly Relationship With Your Ex:
This may be one of the hardest things you can do in the aftermath of bitterness and hurt. But, don’t encourage conflict and avoid fighting, which just adds to negativity. Find ways to continue a friendly atmosphere. Text him every now and then and ask how his day is going. If your friends on Facebook, and face it, in these days everyone is, don’t delete him. Send a positive message on his wall every now and then. You can always find ways to maintain a friendship, and friendships are an important commodity in our lives. If you ever decide to renew a relationship with an ex, you can’t do it if you are enemies. Remain friends at all cost.
13. Get Closure:
Too many women hold onto the possibility of getting back together with their ex-boyfriend, sometimes for years. This causes women to hold back on their lives. Talk to your ex-boyfriend about the things you did not like about your relationship, and how you both behaved, and why it ended. The sooner you can get closure, the sooner you can make that commitment to move on yourself. Getting closure is the most important things that you can do to get over your ex-boyfriend. When women can get closure, they start to move forward, get out of their funk, and start meeting people again. And folks, people include men. You might even meet a man who was better than the one you have been pinning away about.
I hope these steps have given insight on how to step out of an ex-boyfriend’s life and move on with yours. As women, we all have gone through the awful feeling of losing someone we have invested time in, and it also causes us to question ourselves. Go through the steps, follow them, and you will be on your way out of the gutter and onto the life of new and rewarding friendships, and possibly, the man of your dreams.
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