I think many of our readers would appreciate some general guidelines for giving gifts to girlfriends.
Don't make your relationship into a materialistic prostitution
Do you have questions about giving gifts? Ask them below in the comments. I answer each one personally.
The first thing to really keep in mind is that when you do give gifts to girls, make sure your gestures do not become too predictable or blatantly obvious. If you’re someone who finds that every month or every week you’re buying a gift for your girlfriend, or even doing something out of the norm, then what starts to happen is that she starts to expect it from you, and your gestures start to have less of an impact.
What I find girls respond more to is spontaneity in giving gifts.
The obvious times that guys will give girls gifts are Valentine’s Day, Birthdays, Christmas, and if they have a very good memory, and probably if the girl is inclined that way, then maybe Anniversaries. Let us say you were to purchase a girl some flowers on those special occasions. There is no chance that that it is going to have an impact. These are occasions where she expects to receive gifts, so their value is less to her than if you were to just surprise her.
Women love to know that you were thinking of them and that you went out of your way to buy her something special. I think what will have an impact is if you just randomly on a Wednesday morning, completely out of the blue, organize to send her flowers.
Maybe with a note that says, “I thought maybe you can use some brightening up today.” When it is not expected, the impact is going to be far more powerful. Women have watched a lot of romantic comedies and have these fairytale romance ideas in their heads that you want to provide for her. I think that not being predictable is important to creating these feelings. I think the other thing is that you have to consider is the state of mind the guy has when he’s giving a gift.
How do you mean what state of mind the guy has as he gives a gift?
If he is giving a gift to gain something from the girl, almost like trading, then he is playing it the wrong way. Let us say he buys a gift to get some sexual favors in return. This is almost like a subtle form of prostitution that takes all of the love and joy out of the relationship and gift giving. The thing that he is doing is setting up a frame for the rest of the relationship which is just not something he is going to be able to uphold and continue. He is setting himself up for failure in the long run to potentially have sex in the short term. Is this worth it? As soon as those gifts dry up, or even if they keep coming but at the same rate as before, then her interest in him is going to start to decline.
Once you set out on the route of buying gifts for a girl on a regular basis, you have to keep upping the ante in order to get a more powerful response from her. Those are important considerations to keep in mind, if you are going to consider buying gifts for girls. Recognizing that it is not the most important thing in terms of attracting her, and most certainly not in terms of her wanting to date you.
Think about it, do you really want to make your relationship purely about materialistic concerns?
Most women are most happy when you give them the gift of you. They want you to be fully present with them. They want you to give them your love and shower them with affection. A better gift than a teddy bear or a bouquet of flowers is to give your woman a huge hug that lasts longer than you usually do it. Give her sweet kisses on her neck or her ears. Women love when they are showered with physical affection, much more than any box of chocolates will do.
I personally like to give my girl gifts, whenever I am feeling it. My gifts are usually free though. I like to take my girl and dance with her for a few minutes. Or I’ll grab her from behind and whisper how much I love her in her ear. Or I’ll write a handwritten note and put it somewhere that she will find it. These types of gifts have some much more power than a Hallmark card or a cake make from a store.
When I do buy gifts, I keep a small gift journal or list. My girlfriend is always dropping hints about stuff that she might want or things she wants to do. When she does, I write them down in my special notebook. Then, when I want to surprise her, I have a list of things that she has mentioned she wanted, yet never knew that I noticed and then gave it to her. She loves it and this is a great strategy for giving gifts anytime you want to.
But the best gift you can give her is showing you understand her on the deepest level…
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