Not all girls out there are girlfriend material, but here’s what you didn’t know…
So, you’ve finally begun dating more often, but you notice that many women out there just want a casual relationship. This article focuses more on serious dating, and how to find a girlfriend who’s going to want something less casual, and more of a serious relationship.
The secret you’ve been waiting for
Now, while there are certainly girls who have strong preferences on the matter, from my experience, what is far more important than that is what your preference is and what you shape the girl towards.
I feel like girls have a tendency to adapt to their environment. I have seen girls who were monogamous relationship junkies, and went from one long term relationship to another. But then suddenly they became entirely comfortable with being in a casual open sexual relationship with me! To that end, knowing what you really want is a good start, because it will be reflected in your behavior, body language, etc.
Rome wasn’t built in one day
Bear with me here. Let’s say that you want to move an interaction with a girl into a long term relationship. The reality is that the starting point is going to be the same no matter what. You don’t create a long term relationship on the first night. That is a mistake that most guys make way too often.
They try to shape a girl towards a long term relationship within the first five minutes of meeting her. Often times a girl will be scared by that sort of behavior, because the guy will come off as needy. He will be texting her all of the time, seem emotionally unstable, and someone who down the road is going to cause a headache. Trying to take things in a serious direction before you properly even know the girl is going to backfire.
What you want to be able to do is concentrate on being fun and playful. If a relationship happens, it is usually because the girl has an opportunity to dip her toe in and sense that the water is the right temperature, so to speak.
If you try to rush her and force her to jump in without testing the water, she is going to put up barriers and roadblocks, and not be willing to move forward with you.
Incorporate her into your daily life!
It usually takes three to four weeks before the point is reached at which she is willing to move things into a more serious direction. The difference is that as you start spending more time with her, and incorporating her into your life, moving things further becomes a natural progression.
Whether it’s inviting her to work functions, bringing her to different activities and events that you do, or getting her to help and assist you with some of the goals that you’re working towards, you’re going to see each other more, and she’ll feel like she’s a more important part of your life.
You should also, after a while (but not too soon!) start framing things within the context of the two of you potentially having some sort of a serious relationship. By that I mean talking about events that you might both attend in the future (but again, don’t make these events a year from now), or it could just be talking about your own goals for what you want out of a relationship, and seeing if the two of you have similar ideas about the future.
Now enough theorizing, you need to get out there and actually meet the girl in the first place!
Or do you still think that women are an indecipherable black box?