Are you scared to ask her out over the phone?
Don’t let that chunk of plastic become a barrier to your sexual conquests…
So you got her number… but now you have to call her, right?
The first issue I want to address here is one of the common mistakes guys make along the way. So they’ve gotten the girl’s number, they ring the girl and the girl doesn’t respond, leading them straight to voicemail. Many guys will say, “Hey Jess, Matt here, I just wanted to catch up with you. Why don’t you give me a call when you get this?”
They hang up and then they sit there. They sit there and wait for the girl to ring back. The challenge is that they could be waiting for days, they could be waiting for weeks and what they don’t know is whether the girl actually has their number or not. If they then follow up and ring again they lose a little bit of value in the process.
Make this subtle switch.
The response is similar, but there’s a slight tweak that’s really important. I would say, “Hey Jess, Matt here, just wanted to ring and see how you’re doing. I’ll give you another call a little bit later on tonight.” And then I hang up. Since I told her that I will ring her back a little bit later, she knows that I’m going to ring her up and I find that in seventy to ninety percent of cases the girl will then actually ring me back anyway, because she knows that I’m going call her regardless.
The second bit of advice is that I think you have to work on building comfort in the initial phase. If you get a girl on the phone, and you jump straight to asking her out — it’s too big of a step for her. Those positive emotions that she was experiencing when you first met her may have dissipated a little. Maybe a lot’s going on or maybe she’s not in the same high energy environment that she was in when you got her number to begin with. It helps to go back and build comfort.
Another tip on how to make conversation that’s really good is to utilize call back humor. Call back humor is to remember something that you both had a laugh about such as a nickname you gave her or someone that you both pointed out that looked a little funny. Maybe it was a girl that had a peculiar dress sense or was a little tarty with what she was wearing. You can use that call back humor to rebuild familiarity.
Once you’ve built a base of comfort it becomes easier to say, “So when are you free this week?” That’s a really great starting point. “I’d like to see you, what days are really good for you this week?” Unfortunately, what some guys will say is, “I was thinking, I’m doing this great thing on Thursday night, I’d love to catch up with you. What do you think?” The girl is forced to reject him because she has other plans. The problem is that he doesn’t know what question to ask a girl on the phone.
So now he’s on the back foot because he’s like, “Oh that’s cool. What about Saturday night?” She responds with “Saturday night I can’t because I’ve got another commitment.” Now he’s been rejected twice and it creates a negative momentum with the call. It’s really positive if he can get an idea of what night she’s free and then progress things from there.
Have you struggled with asking a girl out on the phone? Which of these tips are you going to use straight away?
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