Be a ravaging wolf in a harmless sheep’s clothing
This is the perfect model for approaching a girl you don’t know — appear to be something safe and comfortable, ask her to take small little steps closer… and closer… then before she knows it, she’s in your bed and you’ve sunk you’re, uh, teeth into her.
When asking a girl out, many guys make the mistake of being too impatient and rushing the process. I was working with one of my clients earlier today, as he was approaching a lot of girls in a big shopping mall. He’s really direct talking to girl strangers and says, “I think you’re really cute.” It’s almost too soon. First, when talking to a girl that you don’t know, make her feel relaxed and comfortable in your company. That can be something as simple as saying “Hi, how are you today?”
You’ve now opened the door to conversation; it breaks the ice, it gets her attention. It basically lets her focus on you.
Now you have to give her the reason why you have approached her and work on how to make friends with her. You may have observed something about her and you want to say, “Your posture is really unique; it looks like something you focus on. Do you do yoga or is this something that you put some energy into?” Perhaps you think she’s just really cute and you want to tell her that.
Once you have broken the ice and you have gotten her attention, you will be thinking or working up to asking out someone you barely know. You can say something along the lines of, “I hope you don’t take this the wrong way, but I think you are absolutely stunning. I just wanted to come up and say hi and maybe get to know you a little bit.”
That creates a little bit of tension, which is a good thing. You then want to be able to release it, particularly when you just meet a girl for the first time. So you hold space for a little while, and then afterwards you might ask her, “So, what have you been up to today?” When she responds to your question, what she is doing is that she is acknowledging the fact that you have made a statement of intent. She’s aware that you are keen on her, and she’s okay with that and is going to keep talking to you.
That’s the starting point of asking a girl out that you don’t know. You have been able to approach her, get her attention, create a little tension; break the tension and then continue to vibe off that. At some point soon you’re going to need to move things forward. I think a great way for testing the waters to find out if she would potentially be interested in hanging out with you, is saying something along the lines of, “I’m just interested, what’s your current relationship status?”
Now you are going to get a bit of the feel. If she is open to being asked out she will always smile a little bit and say, “I’m single.” Or she’ll say it’s complicated. Those are the two answers you will get when a girl is open to the possibility.
If she says that she is in a long-term relationship, there are ways you can progress with that, but I don’t encourage it. I think there are too many beautiful single women out there rather than spending time with someone who is already committed to someone else.
At this stage its a natural progression to ask the girl out by saying something like “That’s great, I would love to maybe take you out sometime. You seem like a really sweet girl. I would love to find out a little bit more about you. I’m going to get your number, I’ll give you a call later tonight and we can sort something out.”
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