Are you wondering how to increase your self-worth? Are you having difficulty with being happy? Keep reading, and we’ll give you the first steps on your way to becoming a happier person!
There are two basic types of happiness. External happiness is all about being happy when good things happen to you, and sad when bad things happen. But that's a crappy way to live, isn't it? Cultivating internal happiness is gaining the ability to be happy EVEN WHEN we find ourselves in difficult and adverse situations.
A big part of happiness is how you view yourself. It’s unfortunate, but a lot of guys fall into the trap of being overly harsh and critical of themselves. I know this very well because I used to be just like that. I would constantly criticize myself for everything. Even when I produced really good work or achieved amazing results, I would still be highly self-critical. It seems like no matter what I did, I was never really happy with myself.
With such a frame of mind, you become your own worst enemy. Sooner or later you realize that you need to analyze just who’s standards your holding yourself up to: your own, or that of others? It’s important to look back sometimes, and think about how our critical parents, or teachers, or other authority figures in our lives may have created unrealistic expectations, and that all we’re really doing is trying to conform to their perceptions of what we should be doing. When I came to this realization, I had to undo a lot of the ways in which I was taught to think, and completely reframe my mind.
How to be less self-critical
So how can you increase your self-esteem? The trick is to learn to let go of the way you were taught to think as a child. There are numerous different methods you can use. First there’s the Sedona method, which has helped countless thousands of people.
You could also try something like hypnosis, to explore and let go of your misperceptions. If you choose to go along this path however, be aware that hypnosis requires very well trained professionals. You should be very careful with who you allow yourself to be hypnotized by.
Enjoy the process
Many of us grew up with a very critical father figure, who expected a lot from us all of the time. But in order to be truly happy, you have to liberate yourself from your attachment to results, and enjoy things just because you’re doing them – not because of what they might lead to. Choose activities for the pleasure and happiness they themselves give you – and not only as means to another end.
If we take meeting women as an example, rather than going out with the mentality that, “Okay, I’m going to go out and talk to at least ten women, and that’s my aim for tonight,” I suggest you take a more relaxed attitude, such as, “Tonight I’m going to go out and just have fun meeting women. I’m there to have fun and enjoy myself – not to reach some sort of goals or results.” Sometimes reducing the amount of pressure you put on yourself can actually lead to better results!
The important thing to keep in mind is not to beat yourself up. Being negative and thinking, “Damnit, I didn’t make any body contact last night. Oh shit – I’m terrible, I’m a terrible person, I’m never going to get better at this.” That’s just not going to get you anywhere. When we say or think negative attitudes, we actually perpetuate them. We tend to act out what we feel inside, so if we make ourselves feel bad, we’re becoming our worst enemy! Instead, be realistic with yourself, perhaps by saying something like, “I guess I just jumped too far outside of my comfort zone too quickly.”
Confront your critics
A lot of people, and parents especially, think that when they’re being harsh and critical of their kids, that they’re actually helping them out. With many people though, that simply isn’t the case.
Now this isn’t for everyone, and to some extent this can open old wounds, but what you could do is confront them. Talk to your dad and tell him, “You know, it really messed me up the way you crushed my confidence when I was younger, and now I feel like I can’t do anything.” It might be difficult to talk about this, and you might think that you’re appearing ‘weak’, but it can really help to get these issues out into the open. You might turn out to be surprised that your father didn’t even realize what he was doing. Confronting the issues of the past, rather than hiding from them or burying them in our memory, is a good way to deal with a lot of the subconscious blocks and obstacles we have that prevent us from achieving our goals.
But in the end, it’s important to let go of the past, and move on with the future. While it can help to think about what brought you to where you are now, dwelling on it too much is of little use. What you really want to achieve is to become a more future-oriented person, and we have just the program for that!
If you’ve been plagued by anxiety issues, fears, and a general lack of confidence, then you’re basically where I once was. Thankfully, I found out about a program of Vin’s called Dominant Sexual Power, which really changed my life.
