What relationship advice can you give to guys out there looking to really build a solid foundation of trust in a relationship?
Then how can you maintain that trust throughout the course of your relationship?
I think the first thing that people want to be aware of is that trust is something that builds over time. It’s not something that can be forced. It’s essentially something that has to be earned. So just be patient in knowing that as you work on building a relationship together, and as you continue to spend more time together and share more experiences together, you are going to develop a bond that is going to go beyond just being casual acquaintances.
Trust will naturally form.
But trust can exist on a couple of levels. When we look at trust, we often think about trusting our partner to stay faithful to us, and naturally trusting ourselves to stay faithful to our partner as well. That’s a really key aspect of trust, and a lot of that happens just through the way we communicate to our partner, making it clear how important they are, how special they are to us, and what they mean to us.
I think it helps to just have a chat with them at different points, in order to make it really clear what your goals are in this relationship.
Where do you both see the relationship going and what do you see as acceptable behavior? In certain relationships, maybe if a partner was to be seen hugging his female friends, that might be perceived by his girlfriend as stepping out of line.
I wish someone had given me this relationship advice when I first started.
Maybe being in communication with ex-boyfriends and ex-girlfriends might be seen as stepping out of line. It’s really important as a starting point that the two partners are able to sit down and clarify exactly where the line is for them. It’s going to be different for every person, but that’s a really important step.
The other component of trust is: can the person trust that they can be themselves and not be judged for being themselves?
Everyone has unique personality traits. Sometimes their personality traits are a little bit quirky, they are a little bit out there, and there’s a potential that they might be perceived as being a little bit strange.
However, if you are going to be able to develop trust in your partner that you can completely open up to her and share your unique personality, she has to demonstrate to you that she can provide a really safe space for you and not judge you. You have to feel like she won’t make fun of you for these things that are important for you. Naturally that becomes a two way process.
You also need to be able to create that trusting space for her.
In order to earn trust and maintain trust, you need to recognize what a sacred thing trust is. Once it’s broken, it’s very hard to go back, and that includes both how we deal with our partner and how faithful we are to our partner, but it also includes how we respond to our partner when they show us vulnerable sides of themselves.
If we can demonstrate that we are trustworthy, the strength of the relationship will begin to develop and go to a whole new level.
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