It’s a dilemma some of us face. We’re scared of committing to one girl, and we consider cheating. But how do you do it? Here, I reply to Sancho’s letter.
It doesn't have to end in disaster for you and your girlfriend
Dear Vin,
I have a long-term girlfriend and I love her and I don’t really want to hurt her, but man, after reading a lot of the advice on your website, I’ve been getting so much more attention from a lot of other women. I’m not going to lie I get tempted at times.
I’m actually thinking there are a couple of girls that would like to take it a bit further with me and potentially have sex with. I really like my girlfriend, I don’t want to break her heart and I don’t want the relationship to be affected by this, so can you help me get away with cheating and learn how to cheat?
Sancho from San Juan
Hi, Sancho – it’s a really common issue that a lot of guys face, especially if they’ve not had a lot of success with women, get a new girlfriend and start to get more attention. After all, if you get tied down in a relationship, it can be tough to stay faithful and avoid cheating.
However, I’ve gotten to a point in my life now where I recognize that it’s so simple in today’s society to sustain casual relationships. It’s so easy to get a girl to cheat, or to find someone who’s willing to have an open relationship. I do think that these scenarios are only going to become more and more popular as we move into the future.
For me, I figure that, because I’ve built this part of my life up where I feel like I can have almost any woman, I would only not cheat on a girlfriend if I was 100% committed to her. Now, if this was you, the thought wouldn’t have crossed your mind. What’s more, if you feel like you’re not getting enough attention from her, is she cheating on you?
Being honest with your girlfriend could bring a surprising response
If you’re in a relationship and you start to think about other girls, and want to cheat on your girlfriend without hurting her, try to give yourself a bit of a reality check. Constantly remind yourself that the key to being successful in any relationship is honesty.
What I’ve found is something that might surprise you. If you’re open and honest with a girl and you don’t try to hide behind lies, a lot of the time the girl will actually understand where you come from.
I remember the first time when I was in an exclusive relationship, and I had this chat with a girl about feeling like I wanted to explore, and get out and meet other people. I told her I felt attracted to other girls. Interestingly, she was actually open to it. We went from an exclusive relationship to an open one, deciding a few basic rules, and she was supportive of me becoming a better man.
How open relationships affect you and your girlfriend
With an open relationship, if your girlfriend is willing to consider it, your partnership can change in a positive way. In my case, it helped take us to a new level because suddenly I was happier, I had more energy, I had more focus, and it meant that I wasn’t spending all my time with her.
If you’re wondering how men cheat, take a step back and consider alternative options. I would encourage you to learn as many techniques as you can, and don’t feel like it’s going to be the end of your life if things turn sour with one girl.
You’ll find that as you become better with this, it gives you more flexibility and you will become less focused on one specific girl. That would be a much better starting point then trying to give you some information on how you might be able to more effectively cheat. It’s all about thinking about what’s right for you, and weighing up the possibilities in your own case.
Good luck, and I hope it goes how you want it to.
Vin.
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