you don’t have to be the most interesting man in the world to keep her attention but she can’t be your whole world…
The key is for her to be comfortable falling asleep in your presence -- not falling asleep because of your presence.Tips guys can use on how to date to keep things interesting
Dear Vin,
Are there tips that a guy can use on how to date to keep things interesting?
Even after three or four weeks, when you know each other pretty well.
Ted
Detroit, Michigan
In order to keep our interactions with girls progressing in the right direction, it’s critical that you keep things exciting and fresh even after the “getting to know you” period.
So without further ado, the first bit of dating advice you want to take is to make sure that your life is well sorted outside of your dating life or relationship. That goes for the girl as well.
Whenever you begin dating someone, question the girl to see what her ambitions are. You want to identify whether they have passions in their life, and whether they have a successful lifestyle going on. For a guy, it should be really critical that he has three or four exciting hobbies or interests going on in his life. Not only will that actually assist him with getting dates in the first place, but it will help him with transitioning those dates into relationships and successfully sustaining them.
You don’t want the relationship to be the sole purpose of your life – nor even the most important one. You want to be more holistically developed, so that you can lead an exciting life even without your girlfriend.
Another idea is to try out a new activity every week.
Think outside the box here. Maybe you can go through each other’s photo albums and give each other a bit of a history lesson on what your lives up to this point have been like. That’s an excellent way to build rapport.
There are plenty of other fun activities too, like mini golf, camping, bowling, etc. Connecting with nature is always a winner – go for a walk around a beautiful lake. You could try going dancing with your girlfriend or a cooking class together too. All of those activities, especially if they are new to the both of you and expand your comfort zone, will greatly strengthen the bond between you.
Another question that I often get is at what point in the relationship do you know that it just isn’t worth moving forward?
Should I give myself a set period of time?
This is not a wise approach to take. You probably don’t want to go into the relationship thinking, “I’m going to give this a certain amount of time, and if it doesn’t work by this day – then I’m breaking it off.” It’s just the wrong attitude.
There’s also another weakness that lies in such an approach. If I’ve given myself 50 days to decide and on day 50 I decide that I like her, but a couple of weeks later I feel like I don’t really enjoy myself with her anymore, then I’m going to feel obliged to stick to the relationship because of the decision I made before.
Therefore, my philosophy is that when I get into a relationship, I use each and everyday as an opportunity to assess whether I actually still enjoy being around this person.
When guys sense that going over and visiting their girlfriend has become a chore; or they want to do stuff, but they feel like they can’t because their girlfriend won’t approve – this already might be a clear indication that this relationship is not going to work out. I’ve had relationships that have lasted just a week before I acknowledge that it is no longer fun for me.
Part of being good at relationships is knowing when the time is right to move on and being able to move on.
When it comes to this, I like to use the metaphor of a band-aid. It’s best if you rip it off in one clean sweep. Don’t dilly dally in indecision.
In the end, if you’re not happy in a relationship, and you don’t have the strength to be able to tell her that and finish things off – you’re actually not doing her any favors. There’s no value for her to be in a relationship that isn’t fulfilling either. It’s really vital to develop that skill of telling her that it’s time to move on.
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