Does the mere thought of interacting with girls send chills down your back? Are you wondering how a pretty shy guy can develop confidence with girls?
Don't worry - it can definitely be done. Confidence can be developed just like any skill. Once you know how, it's no more difficult than learning how to cook a recipe, or type on a keyboard.
The key factor in all of this is repetition and experience. Self-confidence can basically be defined as knowledge or trust in your ability to deal with something. So it’s not surprising that if you’ve hardly gone out with girls, and you’ve never just approached them out of the blue – you’re not going to feel too confident about yourself.
Do you agree with my definition of the nature of self-confidence? Share your thoughts in the comment section below! I promise to answer all questions personally.
Step 1 – Desensitization.
Based on the definition above, the first and most obvious step to building self-confidence with women is to put yourself in as many situations with women as possible, so as to desensitize yourself when you’re around them.
A lot of guys don’t interact much with women, and so when they’re around them they feel nervous and are unable to really be themselves. In some ways, they’re psychologically putting women on pedestals, thus themselves feeling of lower value around them, which obviously creates nervousness and a lot of tension inside them.
Once you begin interacting with women all the time, you realize they’re just human beings, like you and me, and you stop putting them on a pedestal or feeling nervous around them.
So the first thing you could do is join meet-up groups for singles, or speed dating events. Or if you’re already in a relationship, make an effort to attend more parties and social gatherings.
In fact, it doesn’t have to be centered around relationships – even just coming to parties with friends is helpful, as long as there are women around that you take the opportunity to interact with.
Think about also challenging yourself more in your life. You might not walk to the South Pole, but it’s worth building up a tougher skin through embracing challenges.
Step 2 – Relaxation.
The second thing that helped me build confidence with girls when I was first dealing with my nervousness, was doing a couple of breathing exercises, which really allowed me to be centered and to control my heart rate.
It was basically taking in deep breaths and exhaling at a very slow rate, counting to ten on the exhale. I learnt to control my heart rate by concentrating and centering myself. Besides calming me down in social situations, it also helped me be a little more present around women, and more in control of my emotions.
Step 3 – Befriending women.
While figuring out how to build confidence with girls, I realized that not every relationship had to be intimate. So rather than just seeing women that I was intimate with, I started to meet and befriend women at my workplace, or in various social groups or clubs. A lot of times those girls had boyfriends, but we were just friends, so it didn’t matter.
And since I had no intention of going beyond friendship, a lot of that initial stress, pressure, and nervousness just wasn’t there anymore!
The more you’re friendly with a few girls, the more you realize that women are just like us in a lot of ways. They’re cool people, they’re not these super-human, goddess beings that we have to put on a pedestal, they’re just like us.
They have insecurities, they have fears, they fart, they burp. They do all of those things that we do. Of course that’s not usually shown on T.V., or mentioned in books or movies, so we grow up thinking of women as some kind of a perfect being. Demystifying that was really important to reducing my anxiety around them and making me feel more comfortable in social interactions.
Step 4 – Learn to understand women.
The last point I want to mention is understanding girls. Become a little bit more educated about how women react, what attracts them, and what signals they give off. Having that knowledge really helps you to understand and be able to almost ‘read’ women.
I had a lot of issues with that when I was dating women. I never felt like I could really gauge the signals that they were giving me, and I never really felt like I was in control of the situation.
That lack of knowledge really tainted my confidence because I couldn’t tell if what I was doing was actually working or not. So I took the time to educate myself a little bit more about women, to understand them a little bit more, and find out the kind of body language and signs that women exhibit. I mean, what’s going to boost your self-confidence more than knowing that your mojo is working on a woman?
So when you’re ready to get out into the world and meet beautiful women, head on over here to check out a video of some ground-breaking research into how women think, what they want, and how you can get them in bed faster than they can blink!
