How to Make a Woman Want You Desperately

Dear Vin,

I’m struggling to get a woman to want me. Why? How can I change it…

One of the biggest problems I had when I was younger and wanting to get better with the girls is I didn’t really know what it was that was stopping girls from chasing me and wanting me.

There was something about me that was missing. There was  a missing piece in the puzzle as to why I didn’t seem to be that sort of guy who women naturally just wanted to have sex with. I had absolutely no idea how to get a woman to want me. For me, having sex with girls required effort and pushing myself. It didn’t seem to be some sort of default state, where women just wanted to have sex with me.

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How to make a woman want you

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I had seen other guys where it was that way — it just came to them effortlessly and naturally.

To get a woman to want me seemed like an impossible dream, at the beginning. I thought a lot and  tried a lot of different things to try and figure out what that missing piece was, and I discovered it. That missing piece was having a natural sense of aggression. You can’t get a woman to want you when you are passive and wimpy.

I found that the guys who women tended to gravitate towards, particularly in a sexual way, had a way of channeling aggression in their life.

They had a way of releasing natural male energy in a very positive way, but sometimes even in a negative way. Sometimes on the journey to get a woman to want you, you realize that you need to change. The guys who were less likely to have girls chase them and less likely to have girls just want to have sex with them didn’t have that sort of raw aggression.

What changed for me was taking up boxing…

Boxing was something that  started to activate this quality in myself, where girls just seemed to want me. They just seemed to chase me, and it became a lot more effortless, because something shifted inside myself when I felt like I could stand up for myself. When I was younger, I was quite a small guy. I didn’t get picked on too much at school, I got picked on a little bit, but I did feel intimidated by bigger, muscular guys who could fight. When I started boxing I felt kind of like a feminine, wimpy guy, sort of soft; I knew I wanted to develop a hard edge.

I realized was that it was that hard edge that made women chase guys.

When you become harder and tougher, that is the key to get a woman to want you. It opens the door. When you are soft, women often won’t even consider you. It was that hard edge that sort of stirred up inside of women that dangerous feeling of excitement and of feeling sexually attracted to a guy.

What I really recommend is for you to take up something like boxing or kickboxing, that has an element of raw aggression, where you can channel some anger, throw punches, and  get in fights, because this is going to give you a quality that girls find attractive. The real trick to get a woman to want you is to develop and take pride in your masculinity. Not in a classroom sense; in a real world, tough sense. Not all martial arts will give you this. Some martial arts won’t give you that kind of raw type, aggressive, masculine feeling. To get a woman to want you, you’ve got to get that real raw aggression.

I recommend doing stuff that has an element of that in it, of macho, of toughness, and an element of male ego to the point where it’s a bit raw and rough.

Once you start to develop this harder edged side of you, getting women to chase you is going to become a lot easier.

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