Creating the adaptability that gets you laid in any situation
Being awkward is not a turn on
How can I overcome my social anxiety and just be normal?
What are some things that define someone, who is good socially?
Are there some social skills I should be working on?
Someone who is socially skilled is someone who understands where people are coming from and can adapt to meet them on the same level.
No matter whom they are around or surround themselves with, they can always connect with those people. Sometimes you’ll find that people tend to generally hang out around their own kind of people.
If they’re surfers, they will hang around surfers. Ornithologists hang out with other bird watchers. Artists hang out in galleries and studios. Book-lovers can be found in bookstores, at book sales, and in libraries. Video game enthusiasts hang out in game stores or chatting with each other online. Sporty types can be found in the gym or at sporting events. The horsy crowd is down at the stable or at shows. Each of these different demographics will have their own particular lingo and ways of talking.
Someone who is socially adept will know how to fit in and be a part of any of these scenes and will seem familiar with the subject matter.
To get over your social awkwardness and be socially normal you need to be able to adapt yourself, so that the majority of the people in any given situation will feel a sense of familiarity or commonality between you and them.
This is especially important with women, because women are social creatures.
I believe there has been research to suggest that men speak approximately seven thousand words a day, while women speak between fifteen and twenty thousand. Even in the development of the female brain as they grow up, the parts of their brains which are focused on socializing tend to be more honed and developed in women than they are in men.
I highly recommend for guys who want to learn more about the importance of this to read a book called, Social Intelligence.
Do you think overcoming social anxiety is more a matter of mentality or practice?
It’s both, but there’s no doubt that spending more time surrounding yourself with a variety of people will help you to adapt and learn how to start to fit in with different groups of people. You’ll start to get a sense of how people think and the way conversations are created, and start to be able to connect with people easier.
Not to mention that the practice of exercising yourself socially means your social muscles are going to be more warmed up and developed. As a result, you will find it easier to socialize with women, when it comes time to do so.
I would also highly recommend checking out some public speaking programs or some other fields of interest that might help you be less socially awkward.
Taking up an acting class can be powerful. It can teach you how to use your expressions better, how to be able to evoke a response, and develop strong skills that can be supported by your newfound, growing experience as someone who socializes more often.
Your social anxiety disorder is something that you can overcome… you just have to get started on it now.
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