You see a hot girl across the bar, or at the gym, but are too shy to approach her?
No more lost opportunities! What we need is a mindset shift here, because in my experience, most guys think that approaching a woman out of the blue is somehow ‘creepy’. This is why I’ve put together this little guide to picking up women – enjoy!
But seriously, appearances are important
Okay so I was joking, but working out definitely helps your chances. Imagine you’re sitting around, having a drink, and out of the blue a hot girl comes up to you and starts flirting. Awesome, right? Now would it be as awesome if she was fat, didn’t shower for a week, and was half-drunk? No… no it wouldn’t be.
So put yourself in her position. Do you think she wants to be approached by some out-of-shape guy who finally got some confidence from his fourth drink? Few girls ever object to being picked up by hot guys, so working on your appearance is definitely a good starting point.
Knowledge is power
You don’t need to go in unarmed and unawares. Do your scouting beforehand!
Whether she wants to be picked up or not will have a lot to do with her body language, the time of the month, what situation she’s in, whether she’s engaged in an activity, if she’s on the phone, if she’s eating dinner with her family, whether she’s working out, etc.
If she’s engaged in an activity, this is not the ideal time. This is a time you want to leave her alone, and you want to wait for her to finish whatever she’s doing. Respect her privacy and her space.
Not that this should stop you from picking her up, just wait till she’s on a break. When a woman’s walking around the mall, or when she’s on a lunch break by herself, are excellent times to approach her. In fact, any time they’re shopping is a great opportunity for picking up women, since shopping is an enjoyable activity that will often put them in a good frame of mind!
Whether that’s in the supermarket or the clothing store, the jewelry store, whatever kind of store that she’s doing shopping at, that’s the time to approach a woman. Any time she looks like she’s in a daze, she’s not really thinking, and she’s in her own head – that’s a great time to approach a woman and snap her out of it.
Conversations… they aren’t what you think!
I always find that the best conversationalist is not somebody who knows how to talk a lot, but somebody who knows how to listen. The art of having a good conversation is measured by how well you can get the other person talking, especially about themselves.
The best conversationalists I’ve found are people who can get me talking. If I’m talking a lot, then that makes them a really good conversationalist. If I can get them talking, that makes me a really good conversationalist. Think less about what you can say and more about how much you can get the other person talking (without making it sound like an interrogation).
And conversations are definitely a case of practice makes perfect. You can read all there is about conversations, but unless you go out there and apply that advice, you’re not going to benefit much.
Talking to more women, more people in general in fact, and really engaging them and seeing how long you can get them to talk about themselves is something that’s going to take practice.
Now, before you start practicing, don’t you think you need something to practice, first? Before you can perfect the skills of conversation, for example, don’t you need to have some brief idea of what those skills are? I don’t know about you, but I like to go in there armed with as much knowledge as possible.
And nothing’s going to prepare you better for having great conversations than a guide field-tested by, and built on input from, dozens of professional dating coaches.