How to Talk to Women Effectively: Be the Closer

It's not easy to talk to women if you don't know what to say. When you talk with a woman, one of the biggest things you're probably thinking about is whether she is attracted to you or not. Maybe you want to know how to read women better overall, or just figure out if this particular one is interested in you or not. Perhaps you want to become an expert on attraction and build up an instinct to know when it is there and how you can control it.

Perhaps you're in a situation where you do know how to start a conversation with women, but don’t know how to take it to the next step. How do you go from friends to lovers and prevent attraction from dying out? These are tough questions, but they're also attraction killers.

In my experience, if you're thinking like this, you are spending too much time thinking and not enough time time meeting women. You can waste years of your life thinking too much - and not doing enough.

The real problem here is that these guys are not closers.

Every step of being good with women requires you to be a closer. Whether it’s starting a conversation, asking for a girl’s phone number, or going from being on a date to having sex, the entire process is a series of closures. And if you never let yourself have any closures, you're not going to get the girl.

Being a closer doesn't have to mean you only count it a success if you get a girl in bed. There are lots of steps between saying hello and the bedroom that are closures on their own, small successes. You need to start out by being fair to yourself and not pushing too hard. Understand the concept of improvement. Just about every guy I've met who isn't dating the women he wants  to is failing himself on one very important principle: noticing and appreciating small improvements. To be great with women,  you've got to appreciate all the little progresses that you make as much as the big ones, if not more.

Becoming fantastic with women is not any different than the process of getting good at anything else.

It’s actually very predictable - like anything else, it’s a series of small improvements added together. But guys tend to be blind to small improvements. They don't notice them enough, remember them, or celebrate them. With each girl, especially at first, you may only be able to improve your performance by a small amount. Being able to recognize that little improvement, be grateful for it, and locking it away in your mind as a permanent success is what will give you the confidence and motivation to go out, meet more girls, and improve some more. This is the most essential part of learning to be good with women.

It's not difficult to answer the question of "how to talk to women...." if you don't think of talking to women as different than talking to anyone else. Do whatever you can to create a sort of mental microscope that notices each and every small improvement you make. Train your mind to focus on any improvement, and value it as the highest priority in your life. The biggest key to success is when you can do this on a constant basis. You should notice each and every positive thing you do, no matter how tiny - and be able to learn from it. If you can't, you're going to kill any chance of progress. If you can, you'll be able to watch your progress accelerate. It's so simple...but it's so powerful.

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Category: Approaching Women, Articles, Conversation with women, How To Talk To Women, Sweet Things to Say to a Girl, What to Say to Attract Women, What to Say To Girls, What To Say To Women