So: you’re hoping and longing for that real love scenario – and want true love. But what are the things you have to say to a girl to strengthen a relationship? Here, I discuss the mindset that YOU need to overcome previous relationship problems and attract a girl.
Sometimes, if you look for love too hard, it’ll never come. We’ve all tried looking exhaustively for someone to care about, and heck – we might even have tried using a love calculator!
The biggest mistake that I see guys make who are looking for love is that they usually look for it externally. They think that if they can find love and bring someone into their life who loves them, then that will make everything alright. From there, they hope the hole that they feel inside themselves, the hole that exists internally, will be filled up by someone else’s love. This never works, and it’s a dangerous mindset to have.
Want some free love advice? Ask yourself what YOU want from love
The reality is that you need to look within for love. It’s going to be impossible for anyone to love and cherish you unless you first love yourself and even if someone else’s love does temporarily fill you up and you feel complete when you have a girl in your life, there’s a danger of two things happening.
- You’re going to drain her. You’re essentially being a vampire and you’re draining her energy. She’ll experience that as you being needy and when someone becomes to be too needy there’s a tendency for people to want to push them away. Unfortunately, as you push them away they then come back twice as strong. That’s what I find with a lot of guys who they use the girl in their life to be their reason for living.
- Relationship problems that will make you feel worse. If for whatever reason she exits you life – due to a break up, or someone else, you will be left feeling even worse than before, and that hole is now even bigger.
So focusing on putting yourself in the right headspace, and the right mental space, to be able to feel like you love yourself will actually really enhance your ability to attract more love into your life.
How to get prepared to get dating
Some exercises that guys can start to get their awareness of where they’re at and to feel better about themselves, I like the idea of writing down a list of top hundred successes that you’ve had in your life.
They may be with girls or not, but when you focus on the positive components of your life, the little wins that you’ve accumulated over the years, you start to realise that there’s actually more to you than meets the eye.
I think most guys that are struggling with women really sell themselves short. They don’t recognise what amazing guys they are; what complex guys they are and when they get in touch with that and they start to build some more awareness around it, it really changes their perspective in general.
So when you do find love, you want to be in a position where that love is the extra bonus. It’s not the main component of your life. The rest of your life is 10/10 and that extra love coming in just helps highlight just how amazing your life is. Don’t make the mistakes mentioned here, and you won’t be needing relationship help for much longer!
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