Are you always telling yourself that you must pick up a girl tonight?
Pressure defeats purpose, relax, and make it about fun and you’ll get more than you bargained for…
Just go have fun.
One of the big shifts that helped me be more successful with my relationships, was just went out to have fun. So when I went to a nightclub with friends, then my emphasis was not on going out and meeting women, but rather on what I could do to maximize my own enjoyment.
Then you will naturally get women.
Interestingly, what started happening was that I started getting far more responses from women. I would find a way to either bump into them or naturally attract them into my world, and they would come and open a conversation with me. It was almost like an instantaneous shift in my success rate. So I think when guys go out with the focus of having fun, firstly, they’re more likely to have better interactions and secondly, they’re more likely to have a follow-up from that and have more successful dates.
Being real and having fun go hand in hand. What happens a lot of the time is when guys go out and they try to have fun in a nightclub scene, they essentially try to force something that’s not there. So the best way for me to have fun was to let it develop naturally. To be able to accept the particular state that I was in, acknowledge that, and just develop an appreciative focus for what was happening that night.
So if I went to a club and I was a little bit tired and feeling a little low on energy, if I went out to try and force myself to be pumped up, then that would be a little bit disingenuous. I wouldn’t really have a good connection with the other people in the nightclub.
Appreciate your surroundings.
However, if I was to go out, accept, and acknowledge the current state that I was in, and just develop a quiet appreciation for what was happening around me; what I found was that I was able to slowly build some momentum. I was able to stay both real to my feelings, and also stay connected to the people around me. I was able to enjoy myself and let that momentum of having fun progressively build.
It might be being appreciative of the fact that you can go out to a nightclub, that you can afford to go out, or that you’ve got good friends to be able to spend time with. It might be being appreciative of the particular environment. It might be being appreciative of the music that’s playing.
Often music can be a great opportunity for putting us in a pumped up state. It might be being appreciative of all the beautiful women around you. But just by having that self-appreciation, you’re able to change the focus in your head and naturally find that state of having fun.
Now I’ve got a way for you to change the state of any woman you meet.
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