I’m completely new to the idea of even meeting women. What’s the first thing that I should do?
The first thing is to think about meeting women as just an extension of your social skills. The best way to think about being confident with women is it being closely related to being confident with people in general. The more social you are, the better your people skills will be; and the better your attitudes and behaviors towards people, the better you’re going to do with women specifically.
I don’t really have many close friends. Is this going to make it harder for me to be dating really attractive women?
That’s probably no accident, and that’s connected with not having a lot of experience with women. As you go through this process of becoming more socially confident, you’ll find it easier to make close friends and also to have girlfriends.
The best way to find that hot woman that is perfect for you is to be social in general
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What would be three missions that I can undertake or three ways in which I can start becoming more social?
I think, first of all, that you’ve really got to get out of the house at least three nights a week, so maybe you choose a hobby that’s very social, or maybe go to certain events in your city; but you’ve really got to put yourself out there. Even if it means going out on your own to bars, you’ve really got to do what you’ve got to do at the beginning.
Mission number two is to look at your existing network.
Often there are people in it, and we haven’t fully utilized that potential. It might be relatives, or friends of friends; but do a bit of a stock take on what ‘people assets’ you’ve got now and what sort of social opportunities they could lead to.
For example, I once did something as simple as joining my local Hungarian club, and from that, I got social invitations, I met girls, I played soccer for their team. Just something as simple as joining a local ethnic club opened me up to lots of social opportunities.
Number three, it’s important to realize that some people find socializing harder than others.
Usually, this is just because of the parts of your brain that you use on a daily basis. Often guys who struggle socially tend to be more analytical guys, and maybe they’re a bit more logical. What can usually be very helpful is to develop more creative interests; maybe learning how to dance; or get into art and learn how to paint; or maybe even learn to play a musical instrument. You’re exercising the parts of the brain that are more closely connected to being a social guy.
I feel like even if I do start to socialize more, I wouldn’t know how to actually make friends.
Trust me, you’ll be able to do that through practice. Making friends isn’t anything special in and of itself. It’s just that: out of ten people you meet, one is going to want to be your friend. It’s not something you aim to specifically do, it’s just something that happens.
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