Stopping things that your girlfriend does that annoy you can be easily done…
Before we figure how to stop her… let’s consider two things.
Maybe you have to appreciate the way that women act is different from how men act. Is she doing something that annoys you or is it just something that you don’t understand? Try to look deeper into her actions. Try to understand what she is thinking and what she’s really trying to share with you. Women communicate very differently than men and if you are only looking at the surface of the communication, then you could be missing out on a really sweet message from her.
If you are being annoyed by petty things, there’s no point in arguing. You want to let all of these issues slide. If you need to let her feel like she’s won, let her think that. It’s not a big deal and it’s probably going to make her more at ease. Don’t try to resolve her issues for her. Just be there and be happy to understand that she wants to share them with you and things like that.
But if she is attacking your core standards, then you want to look at these issues. If she’s really doing things that disrespects who you are, then address those things. Don’t start giving in and start letting her get away with those things, because she’s your girlfriend. This really shows a lack of respect for yourself and it’s probably going to make her less attracted to you over time.
You want to have certain issues that are important to you.
Now, there are specific things that really can annoy guys in a girlfriend that just shouldn’t be tolerated. If she gets really drunk and embarrassing all the time, then I’ll bring that up with her. I always try to talk through any issue like that, before I take any action. Most of the time we can work through issues with a simple, direct conversation.
If she can’t see where I’m coming from then that might be an issue. If she’s not willing to work through it, then I might have to reconsider what the relationship is about. I want to repeat that I’m always looking deeper than what she says. I look at how she acts, her body language, and I trust my gut feeling about issues. I try to figure out… why is she really doing this?
I try to look to the core of the issue and when I do this, things get really simple.
There are always things that will annoy you that she doesn’t see a problem with. Depending on what it is, you should definitely bring it up with her and get her perspective. Look at these talks as a way to learn more about her and yourself too. These are a chance to see that maybe you are being controlling by wanting everything your way. Each talk I have with my girlfriend is a chance for us to understand each other better and come to a place of deeper love.
But if the issue is really something that keeps getting to you and she’s not willing to necessarily budge on it, then yes, you’re going to have to deal with it in some way. Maybe you have to set some boundaries in your relationship. A certain set of guidelines can really help relationships stay healthy. I suggest setting boundaries and then checking in on them every couple weeks, before another argument happens. If she is working on what you talked about, then you need to lavish a lot of attention on her. Show her that her effort means a lot to you.
If it isn’t going so well, then maybe you need to end the relationship.
You may have to wonder why you made her your girlfriend in the first place, if she clearly had those mannerisms before you made her your girlfriend. So, why are you with her and why are you trying to change her to be someone else. If you’re attracted to her and you were attracted to her from the start, why are you letting her mannerisms get in the way? It’s probably one of things you really like. Now, if you need to talk to her, what would be the best way? Of course you wanted to talk to her and see if maybe it is worth stopping.. But how do you approach this kind of situation? How do you talk to her without freaking her out?
The answer is simple really.
Speak without too much emotional reaction. So, don’t necessarily be angry or anything but make it clear that this is unacceptable, that this is really getting to you. Not trying to start like an argument or anything like that but just trying to say like, “This is an issue for me, what can we do about it together? What can we do about this?” Communication is the key. Guys and girls need to talk out things that annoy them, to get past them, instead of letting them fester and end a good relationship.
Do you have questions about relationships? Ask in the comments below and I’ll answer each one personally.
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