Breaking up is a painful experience for everyone.
But it is also really healthy. Learn how you can see the positive parts of your breakup… so you can find really special girl out there right now.
Read on for all the details.
Embrace your emotions.
A lot of time people focus too much on the negative aspects of relationship breakups. I’ve seen that there are a lot of positive experiences that can be gleaned from them as well; and I think particularly that men, a lot of men that I’ve worked with in any case, have spent a big part of their life running away from emotions.
I find that they’re not fully taking ownership of both positive and negative emotions, because it’s often seen as not being right for a man to cry in public, or for a man to get upset about things that aren’t going particularly well in his life. Then what tends to happen is the creation of hardened men, who have become disconnected.
I know from my own experiences, that this was certainly the case for me when I started getting involved with women. You see, as I began to put more of a focus on going out and meeting lots of women, and having a whole load of different sexual experiences; what I started to do was to let go of what I perceived as weak emotions. Emotions such as jealousy, and even love. I ended up just disconnecting myself from those emotions.
When I was then able to get in a relationship, and start to re-experience love again, and also experience losing someone, it was a really painful period of my life, but it also gave me an opportunity to reconnect with the rawness of my emotions.
And whilst I was experiencing this, I was recognizing how challenging it was for me; but I was also recognizing that under the surface, I was growing as a person. I was starting to get to know myself a little bit better, and recognize what I ultimately wanted from life. That’s one of the great things that a breakup can bring.
Feel your feelings.
The first thing that I did was to fully embrace those strong feelings. I didn’t run away from them. For me, that actually meant sitting in my room for the first three weeks, and just being by myself, and acknowledging that it was okay to feel hurt and sad. And it was okay to express that.
I was able to do that because I knew that this was going to be a long-term fix for me. In the short term, it’s important that guys don’t turn their backs on the negative emotions that they are feeling. There will be a time and place where they will need to be able to move on, and my goal was just that. Usually that time and place will present itself to you when it is ripe.
Look for new things to do.
The second thing that I did once I had given myself the permission to feel, was that I started to look for new activities. Because I recognized that I no longer had someone in my life, this change was going to free up a lot of creative energy for me, and it was going to free up a lot of time. So I used that as an opportunity to get back into salsa dancing, which had been something that I had been really passionate about; but since I had been in a relationship, I hadn’t had an opportunity to do it.
The advantages of that were multiple. Not only was I doing something that was fun and aerobic, but I was also doing something that was social. It got me out of the house, and it got me meeting more people; and ultimately that was able to assist me in starting to get back into the habit of meeting girls again.
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