You are wondering how the relationship advice is in the forums, right?
Discover what to watch out for, when to listen, and when to run like hell…
Let’s start by giving three benefits to being involved in a forum. The first benefit is that we’re talking about a focus topic here, and usually when you go to a forum you’re going to be able to get specific information relevant to the problem that you’re having. Relationships are obviously a very specific topic, and a lot of the time you’ll be able to get great advice from people that have already been there. So that’s the first one, you’re going to get information from people who have already been in your situation, and this will be very relevant to your specific issues.
You are anonymous.
The second advantage is that you’re going to be able to open up and share information when we chat with strangers that maybe you don’t feel comfortable sharing with your closest friends. Because of the inherently anonymous nature of the forum, it allows you to open up and be more expressive with exactly where you’re at, and a lot of the time that’s actually just the process of being able to talk to other people about your issues, and open up more. This will give you some new perspectives regarding these issues that you may have never considered until you wrote them down and thought them through.
The advice works.
The third benefit is that you’re also going to be able to get advice from other people. So as well as being able to share your issues and learn yourself from you own self-awareness, you’re going to get anywhere from 20 to 100 people being able to comment and give you new and different perspective, which is really important.
Sometimes we get rigid in the way we look at a specific situation, and if there’s someone who either has a bit more experience, or who has a different worldview, they might be able to step back from that problem and give you a perspective that you haven’t yet considered, which can be very helpful.
So there are a lot of benefits, but what are the negatives? Surely, it can’t all be sunshine and roses.
Well, sometimes when you’re involved in these forums people can give you information that becomes a little overly mechanical. The process of getting involved in a forum and trying to analyse problems on an intellectual level can sometimes stump people’s ability to really connect and get to the source of the problem. A lot of the time, when you raise an issue on an internet forum, people will give you a step by step analysis of how to deal with that problem.
Do step a, followed by step b, say step c, do step d; and the issue with this is that it takes people away from building genuine connections, building intuition within those interactions, and being able to really be in the moment with someone; instead it takes them to a process of being a lot more mechanical, and so I think that is one of the downsides of sometimes being involved with forums. But it’s completely up to the person who is on the forum whether they buy into that type of thinking. It’s up to them to choose which piece of advice to follow.
The one unbeatable piece of advice you’ll never find in a forum–
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