Cooking meals with a girl can be a great opportunity to start to build that emotional connection that you need to deepen a relationship.
The reason it’s so powerful is that when the two of you are working together it creates this cooperative framework.
Ultimately, that’s the frame that you want to set up with all of your dating experiences.
Cooking together connects your emotions through your belly
You are together.
The other reason that it’s really powerful is that the two of you basically have to be there together. It’s almost like the conversation naturally flows, and because your focus is on the cooking, keeping an eye on meals, cutting, etc., you don’t feel the pressure to be have to talk all the time.
You can talk.
It can be a great place to build conversation and to get to know a little bit about each other. You’ll find often that because a girl’s conscious mind is preoccupied, subconsciously she’s a lot more relaxed in the experience. So I think that’s how you can essentially benefit from cooking, and also how you can help to build that emotional connection.
Take an interest in her passion.
On the topic of how to build an emotional connection, there’s one question that I have for girls that I ask them all the time. The question is, “I’m interested in what you’re passionate about. When you’re not cooking meals with strange men, what do you find yourself doing?” That will usually open up a bunch of things about the girl that normally she doesn’t reveal to people, because people just don’t take that time to be interested in those types of things. She may start slow, so you may have to delve a little bit deeper, or you might have to share some more of your own personal experiences to help her feel more comfortable; but that’s the best way to build that emotional connection.
See if she is investing.
In terms of reading signals I like to look at how much a girl is investing in the relationship. How is the girl talking to me? If she’s just talking about platonic level conversation stuff like what she did today, what she does for work, or how long it’s been since she last went on holiday, those are more factual things. What I’m more interested in is when she starts to talk about things that she doesn’t have to talk about.
So instead of telling me about how long it’s been since she’s been on her last holiday, she starts to tell me about where her last holiday was, where she went, activities that she got into, the people that she went with. That’s extra information, and usually for me that’s a signal that the girl is interested in taking things a little bit further because she’s investing more in me than she has to.
Listen well.
Guys should start to listen more carefully; not so much to the words that a girl is speaking, but to what the words mean. What’s the subtext behind the meaning? What’s her intent? If they can pick up on the investment she’s putting in they’re going to be able to read those signals much quicker and they’re going to be able to act on them immediately.
And always remember the 3 questions…
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