Are you scared to talk to people? Sometimes guys feel as it they have nothing worth saying or they think they will goof up and turn people off. I want to share with you some strategies to get over being scared of talking to people.
What do you find challenging about talking to people? Please comment in the box below.
I just want to point out that this article is not medical or psych0logical advice. If you feel you might be suffering from anxiety, get yourself checked out professionally by somewhere like this.
It wasn’t until I got real treatment for my core anxiety that I really started to learn fast with women. When you hit problems on their deep internal core level, it like hitting a bulls’ eye on a dart board.
1. Get Involved in Social Activities
If want to make friends there are a few ways you can become more comfortable around others. One way would be to take up as many opportunities to put yourself into social situations as possible.
If you’re invited to events, parties or get-togethers don’t hesitate to take up those invitations. Or you can attend other social venues like classes or hobby clubs; things like that. Even though it might be a little bit uncomfortable, the more you can expose yourself to social environments, the better it is for your confidence and the more you can build your confidence around people.
When I was learning to get over being scared of people, I hung around with guys that were very good in social situations. I would observe them and see the little nuances in how they would do things within a social environment that really helped them interact with people. I would then start to try to replicate their style.
I found that I was less and less scared to talk as my confidence built up. Then as my confidence grew, I started to realize that I want to talk to people more and more. It really was a great feeling to become free of thinking that I have social anxiety.
2. Have a Plan
One great strategy that really works for people with anxiety is that when you get into a social environment you make an effort to get to know two or three people. Always push the envelope by introducing yourself and interacting with someone at each opportunity. In good time you can get rid of the thought in your mind, “ I have social anxiety.” Thoughts like that become a sort of crutch that you really don’t need. Throw that crutch away!
By pushing myself to do this each time, I was actually starting to get more comfortable. I was starting to get a lot better at interacting with people and being more comfortable in a social situation. This strategy can work for you. You just need to be willing to step out of yourself and make a move. Scared people hinder themselves more than anything else. Open up, son! Make it happen!
3. Listen More, Talk Less
The other thing I learned to do was to become a better listener. When I was nervous, and I wasn’t a very good conversationalist, I would be inquisitive and I would ask questions. I would get the other person to talk as much as possible. A lot of the emphasis was taken away from me and that allowed me just sit there and listen. People who get to talk about themselves seem to always find you more interesting. It is an interesting sort of paradox.
4. Take Baby Steps
You can do this very gradually with baby steps. Taking baby steps will allow yourself to feel more comfortable and less afraid of people. Eventually you will become the sort of social butterfly you want to be as opposed an introverted in your own little world.
Usually guys that are scared of women aren’t doing amazing challenges in their life… Check out this guy. You might not climb the tallest mountains in the world but you can certainly increase the amount of challenges you are undergoing in your life right now.
As you find yourself in more social environments, after two conversations with people, you will into the groove of it more. Those first conversation will get you warmed up and going with the flow a lot better because that that social part of your mind in engaged rather than the fearful part.
So, if you’re really struggling to open up in a social environment you’ve got to really push yourself to have at least one or two interactions, initially. That will help you get more comfortable and a little bit chattier. It will start to put you more in the moment as opposed to being in your head, being introverted and awkward.
The steps to getting over being scared to talk to people are easy and you can control how you go about implementing them. You need to erase from your mind the thought, “ I’m scared of people.” Replace that with a positive self-image that lets you want to talk to people and get on with the business of living a fuller more social life.