Somewhere between 50 and 80 percent of women are in relationships…it’s just the way it goes sometimes. … You have to start going to new places and approaching different types of women. … A lot of the time when you’re meeting women, you’ve got to be fairly persistent.
I live in New York City, which is said to be a place where there’s an abundance of single women, but every woman I meet seems to be in a relationship. How is it that I can’t seem to find the single ladies?
What you’re experiencing is not abnormal. Statistically, somewhere between 50 and 80 percent of women are in relationships. So, it’s likely not something that you’re doing wrong or just bad luck—it’s just the way it goes sometimes. Usually, when a guy comes to me in this situation—unable to find and doesn’t know how to meet more women—he has to expand his horizons. If you want to start picking up girls in New York you have to start going to new places and approaching different types of women. If you typically go to night clubs and bars, start going to different ones or try taking up a hobby. If you’ve never been to a gym, join one—they’re filled with women. If you typically wait for a woman to be clearly available, start picking a woman striking up a conversation instead of feeling out the situation for a really long time—if you find out you’re not interested or she’s unavailable, you’ll be able to move on quickly to another woman and see if she’s a better match. Conversely, if you’ve spent the whole night waiting for the right moment only to strike out, you’ve wasted the evening and have no chance for recovery.
If you’ve read Pandora’s Box, you’ll know about the different types of women, like investors who tend to have longer relationships. And what’s critical to realize in your situation is that not all women who are in relationships are necessarily off the market. Some of them are very unhappy, interested in meeting new guys, and might not leave a relationship until they’ve met someone else.
It’s not always the end of a game when a girl says she’s in a relationship. It’s worth getting an idea of how she feels about it. If she’s very positive about her relationship, then I would just walk away and leave her alone, but if she is rather negative and signaling she might be interested in leaving it, then you can basically consider her available. A lot of guys can be a little too nice and give up too quickly, not realizing they have a real shot with a woman. They meet a girl but hit some resistance or obstacle and they check out immediately. A lot of the time when you’re meeting women, you’ve got to be fairly persistent. Try to get more information about the situation and stick in there a little bit longer to be sure about what’s really going on with her.