If you are spending every minute of your time with your girlfriend your relationship is doomed for failure.
Here is why…
Lack of time apart is one of the main reasons why relationships fail in the first place. If the person that you’re in a relationship with is the only important portion in your life, and you’re constantly spending time with them, and the thought of spending time apart from them is really painful to you, then you’re setting yourself up in a dangerous position.
You are essentially dependent and needy.
Enjoy the present.
It’s important to acknowledge that in order for a relationship to actually be healthy, it’s important that there is no cement in a relationship. There is always the possibility that the two of you may not end up together, and so the advantage of that for me is when I’m in a relationship, if I’ve got that mindset that will allow me to really enjoy the present, because I know this is the time, this is the most important time for me. I know that tomorrow we may not even be together, and that makes me value the present moment much more. And of course, the future will determine itself by how we spend time in the present, so putting energy and focus on the future is I think a futile plan in relationships.
Do stuff in your life.
The second point that is really important is to make sure we have other stuff going on in our lives, and for me, probably my most successful relationships have been when my relationship wasn’t the most important part of my life. Whether my focus was on my business goals, the coaching that I do, or the work that I’m involved with that helps other people. My focus on my fitness, as well as on other activities all contributed to the wellbeing of my life, so if at any point my relationship falls down, or at any point my partner feels like they need a little bit of space, I’m not going to feel like there’s a giant hole in me when they remove themselves from my life.
The other thing that can be important when it comes to giving each other space is that sometimes, we’re so close to someone that we don’t give ourselves permission to get to know who we ourselves are. We only give ourselves permission to get to know who we are around this particular person, and when that goes on for an extended period of time, questions start to build up on a subconscious level. We begin to question our relationship, and you’ll often hear people talk about how they lost themselves in the relationship.
Be by yourself.
So from that viewpoint, it’s really important, as I’ve already said, to make sure that you’ve got other things going on in your life, but also that you have time to just be by yourself, and explore who you are. Perhaps that means vacations away, or spending more time with friends. Maybe it means just being able to sit down by yourself and mediate for an hour a day. I think these are all very positive ways to continue discovering yourself and maintaining your identity in a relationship. You will find that this actually contributes to the sustainability of a long-term relationship.
It is important to spend time apart when you are in a relationship but you know what else is important? Excellent sex.
If you want to know how to get a girl’s motor running every time then you must see this video.
Don’t miss out, it is free but will not be up much longer.