If you’re a teenage guy just starting to get involved in the dating culture and dating a bunch of girls, how do you know how seriously to take things? You have your whole life ahead of you and don’t want to get into a serious relationship that you’re going to regret. Are there things you can look out for that let you know when something is just casual or when you should invest more of yourself?
It’s a danger that a lot of guys feel like they need to take things to a more serious level. A lot of the time, particularity with teenagers, it’s a “suck up and see” approach. People are very open to the idea of experimenting and having a lot of fun without the commitment at a young age. If a guy hasn’t had a lot of experience, there’s a danger that he’ll feel like a girl wants to lock him down as her boyfriend. Often a guy will feel the need to bring this issue up, so that she can get clarity on exactly what they stand with each other.
When a guy talks about commitment so early in the game, he demonstrates to a girl that he just doesn’t get it. He makes her think that he’s looking for something more than what she is. Focus instead on letting the relationship progress naturally. If the girl wants to take things to a serious level, give her the freedom to be able to express that.
Don’t be going out of your way to bring it up yourself. I think you often have a month to three months grace period at the start of a relationship, when you can go out and date other people. You can have a sexual experience and a sexual relationship without it having to become more serious.
I would encourage guys to get into the habit of letting that time progress. It will usually be obvious to them when the girl is thinking about getting more serious. If she hasn’t made it blatantly obvious to you yet, then it’s not time to bring it up.
For a teenager, casual dating will probably give them more experience in the future. At what age should they start thinking about serious relationships?
I think it’s different for everyone. I would encourage people to get as many casual experiences as they can but, if they really like a girl, there’s nothing wrong with getting into a serious monogamous relationship.
It’s almost as if, in the modern era and within the seduction community, monogamous relationships have been given a bad rep. However, it is still a beautiful and positive situation, to be able to commit yourself fully to one person and feel trust and support back the other way.
There’s no age necessarily that is too old or too young for this. For some people it can help give them some great perspective on the rest of their life, if they do get into a monogamous relationship early on. Then they can decide if that model works for them, or whether it doesn’t work for them, and they have a reference experience to look back on later in life. That has to be judged by each person individually. You will know what is right for you, because you will feel it inside your heart. If it feels right, then go with it, don’t fight it.