Turned off? Many people are automatically turned off by the words “pick up artist”, yet every guy wants to know how to be one, right? If this sounds like you, you need to figure out how to avoid the pitfalls, the negative reputation, and give her exactly what she wants so she (and her friends) keep coming back for more.
Let’s spin a little scenario here. Imagine a guy who has entered a program in the classic pick up artist way comes to me and says, “You know, I realize I am a pickup artist, but I really am looking for a solid relationship form my dating efforts.” What is my plan to help him reprogram?
Recognize the need for a change in mindset…
The first step for him is to recognize that he does have a significant journey ahead of him. The reason changing his ways is challenging is that sometimes his success might go backwards a little before it goes forward. Nevertheless, it’s a worthwhile step to take.
The problem with being a pickup artist and being trained in some of the old-school, classical pick up methods is there is a ceiling on just how far you can get with girls. Sometimes, your success is going to be quite inconsistent because some principles of the game only work with certain girls. If a guy wants to put some energy into learning the natural game, he must figure out how to build genuine connections, and be a giver rather than a taker.
In the best cases, it can get to a point where you can have positive reactions from 99% of the girls you approach. You may not pick up every girl you want, but your consistency is going to be significantly higher by becoming a natural pick up artist.
Get rid of the old you to make room for a new one…
The first step towards achieving this is letting go of routine. You must learn to accept you won’t be in control of a pulling situation the entire time. Get used to the idea of being out of control, and being put in awkward and high pressure social situations, and you will soon love them. That’s when you feel most alive – you can feel that pressure and be excited by it.
I think for guys that are learning natural game, it can be a challenge for them to let go of old routines and just go up to a girl and say hi. To avoid this, you must focus on building conversational skills first.
When you have developed these, everything else in the game becomes easier. The main reason routines may be attractive to you is the promise that you’ll never run out of things to say to a girl. So, acting naturally is a far more advanced and involved method for picking up women.
I recommend getting involved with an advanced PUA program if you want to take your pickup game to the next level. In the meantime, try to let go of the pickup community persona and allow your own personality to shine through, with the confidence you have gained from the standard pickup game.