There are few ways to handle dating your brother’s ex because of how it might go wrong in multiple ways. It will often go worse if you date your brother’s ex right after she dumps him than if it were him dumping her. The issue is that the person you’re trying to date had a special piece of them, and if she left him for you it will feel like the ultimate betrayal to him.
Here are the top 10 ways to avoid getting in trouble for dating your brother’s ex.
1. Don’t let him know
This is obvious, especially when it’s your first time, but don’t let him know what’s going on. This means you shouldn’t drink with him just in case he tries to coerce some answers out of you. Hoe long will you and his ex last, anyway? You won’t have to keep the secret for long.
2. Don’t mention your brother
On both sides, mentioning your brother in the relationship itself is a bad idea. You especially don’t want to talk about him because whatever flaws she saw in him, she will now see in you. This can take a happy relationship and turn it into a very sour one very quickly.
3. Treat it like any other relationship
For this to be a relationship, then you need to avoid thinking about it like it’s a nasty thing you’re doing. You’re a man and she is a woman, so if you two want to get together your brother shouldn’t have a say in it until marriage day. Therefore, you need to treat it the same way you would treat any other relationship in order for it to work.
4. Keep a schedule
The best way to avoid conflict with your brother is to schedule your dates around times you know that he won’t show up. Make your own schedule and then make a schedule with some generic things like going to the park to show to your brother, but make sure those times are during your dating times.
It’s very possible she may turn around and use this as blackmail to get you to do anything she wants. In order to prevent this you need to be wary of everything you do because if she comes into the knowledge that she can use this to control you, she just might try it. Many women have gone power mad this way.
6. Don’t admit guilt to her
Women like confidence above all else, and if you want this to work then you don’t want to admit that you feel bad about dating her. The reason behind this is that it shows you lack confidence in your own choice to do something dangerous.
7. If she doesn’t know, keep it that way
The best case scenario is that you know she is his ex, but she doesn’t know you’re his brother. This happens on a rare occasion and it’s best to keep this going as long as possible. For whatever reason the relationship ended, it did end. Therefore, if she finds out, she will think it will end in the same way.
8. Denial is your friend
If you’re caught, you have the option to say that this was your first date or that you never even thought of it that way. If you’re careful you can soften the blow before it lands and potentially save the relationship you had with your brother.
9. Texting is your enemy
Many people use texting in the court of law, so why wouldn’t they use it in real life? Every time you text her something relationship-y, it is giving away material that she can use to blackmail you. You want to keep the relationship talk to in person or over phonecalls rather than using the easy way and text.
10. Walk away
There comes a point where all you have to do is walk away and apologize. Sure, your brother may be upset with you for a while, but it no longer feels like you downright betrayed him, just that you were curious.
There are many dangers to dating your brother’s ex, but most of them rely on the trust that you have with the ex. She can hurt your relationship with your brother permanently if you’re not careful. Many movies portray the same result. It’s important to have fun while you’re doing this, but also take into account how this might affect your brother.