Effective communication is the number one pillar in my dating model. A lot of people value communication when they look at attracting and meeting women.
The reason that most people think that communication and conversation skills are important is usually wrong.
I want to enlighten you as to the real reason why good conversation skills are critical to having success with women.
On top of that I will give you three tips that you are unlikely to find anywhere else that will get you started on becoming a better conversationalist today. Most gurus’ focus on conversation skills because they feel that it allows people to demonstrate higher value and essentially brag to the girl about what a great catch they are. This is such backward thinking. High value men don’t need to talk about high value they are. All they are really interested in is whether the girl is also high volume.
When you develop your conversation skills it allows the interaction to flow. The flow of the conversation is actually far more important than the specifics of what you are talking about. When you have good flow and interaction it allows you to physically and logistically escalate. These two components of pickup are the real keys to success that you want.
A full on benefit of becoming a great conversationalist is that it gives you extra confidence. It allows you to go and approach women that you normally wouldn’t. I find the number one fear that holds most guys back from approaching the women is the fear of not knowing what to say. As you develop your conversation skills this fear will become a thing of the past.
Which of these tips will you use straight away to effectively communicate? I’d love to hear your feedback – please use the comment box below.
1. Be Interested
It sounds silly. Most guys wouldn’t think that this would be the key to becoming a great conversationalist but when you have a genuine fascination with the people that you meet and you want to find out what makes them tick and what makes them work on a deep level you connect to their core values.
A scientific study was done on what people enjoy talking about the most. Guys often assume that girls like to talk about shoes, TV shows, celebrities and makeup. Sometimes this is true; however, there is one factor that stood out above all other topics. That factor was themselves. People love to talk about themselves more than anything else.
When you show a genuine interest in getting to know who they are, you cater to that need. What is more is that you entice the person to invest in the interaction with you. The more that you can get them to verbally contribute and the more that you can get them to share about their personal values, goals and dreams in life the more invested you get her in the interaction and the more attracted she becomes to you.
2. Be Interesting
A lot of guys would rate this as the number one factor. It is important but it comes behind being interested. The more exciting that you can make your lifestyle, the more passionate you can become about the things in your life then the more people will enjoy speaking to you.
One key distinction that is critical to make is that being interesting isn’t about having a bunch of routines that subtly tell a girl how cool you are. Being interesting is about doing interesting hobbies, about having interesting friends and about living exciting and unique life experiences.
Right now, take a pen and paper and write down six things that you are passionate about in your life. Three of those things will be long-time passions. These are things that you have been interested in over three to four years. The other three will be short-term passions or things that you have become interested in over the last two to three weeks. If asked a question about one of those passions you must be able to naturally and effortlessly flow off into a conversational statement about that topic.
As you start to live a more interesting life your ability to have multiple passions, talk about things that excite you and by consequence excite her will multiply.
3. Strike a Balance
Strike the perfect balance of being interesting and interested. Essentially what this means is that there should be a balance of being able to ask her questions to find out what makes her unique and special as well as delve into your own experiences.
I liken this to the experience of playing catch with someone. Playing catch on your own is no fun. Throwing a ball and then chasing after it can become tedious and boring. It is the same in conversation. If you feel that you have to uphold the entire length of the conversation you will exhaust yourself and become drained causing you to become bored regardless of how attractive the girl is.
What you basically want to be able to do is throw the ball to the girl and have her talk for a little about her passions and then she can throw the ball back to you and you can relate your own experiences. The conversation should be fluidly moving back and forth. In line with this you also want to be able to balance with asking questions.
If you find yourself constantly asking questions the girl can feel like she is being put on the spot. After you have asked a question you then want to be able to relate your own experience to her answer. At the end of making a statement you can then tie a question on the end if you would like.
Becoming good at conversation game will ignite so many aspects of your game. It will take your confidence with women to an all-time high. If you are really serious about having amazing results and the types of women that you ultimately desire then you need to put getting good at conversation very high up on the list of priorities.
Luckily for you, I’ve got the perfect tool for you to fast track your communication skills with women. If you’ve been wondering how to talk with the hottest girls, watch my FREE video to learn the little known secrets of how to properly communicate with them. Don’t wait though, this content won’t be up for long…